Maybe it’s just me, but from the time people began to discover that I was pregnant, advice (from both friends and complete strangers) was abundant. And while I know that I learned (and will continue to learn) much from moms with far more experience than me, there are several things I wish someone had told me….things that I hope that I will remember the next time around!
1. Babies don’t have a snooze button.
Yes, this is obvious. But as someone who has relied on her faithful snooze button for the better part of 2 decades, going cold turkey was quite an adjustment. Had this even crossed my mind in those last months of pregnancy, I may have considered weaning myself off. Snooze is a hard habit to break.
2. Swaddling is complicated.
Practice all you want on that doll in your “Bringing Home Baby” class, but unless that doll can wiggle and scream, your practice is somewhat futile. Just go ahead and prepare yourself. The nurses make it look so easy! But 2 months in we still have yet to find a configuration that works consistently. Over the course of the first month we broke down and purchased every commercial version that is supposed to make swaddling simple. I walked out of Buy Buy Baby repeatedly, carrying the bag that contained the next magic blanket that would hold our little Houdini. Unfortunately, however, none of them worked like magic, and they all have their own unique perks and problems. Currently there are 3 different types hanging over the rail of the crib. If one doesn’t work, I try another.
3. Infant PJ’s are worthless.
Ok, maybe if you forgo the swaddle route, they aren’t worthless. But once Baby is bound up burrito style, anything more than a onesie and a diaper is a recipe for heat rash. I have about 20 sweet little footie outfits….none of which have ever been worn. I am thankful they were all hand-me-downs!
4. Budget to eat out often the first month.
Even in a family where we typically don’t budget more than $80 for eating out for the entire month, we went out for almost every meal the first few weeks. It makes you feel alive again to be out of the house, and gives you an excuse without requiring much of you. Plus, you get out of washing the dishes and planning meals! If you are fortunate enough to have friends and family bring meals for you, this is helpful too. But if you are anything like me, being in the house for a solid 24 hours without leaving is just too much.
5. Locate and map out all the coffee shops in a 10 mile radius that have a drive-through.
There will be times when Baby won’t stop screaming. Yes, it is cliché to load him up and go drive around the neighborhood, but it works. By the time you get to this point of desperation, you will need coffee. Good coffee. Coffee that doesn’t require you to get out of the car with the baby that finally stopped crying and is almost asleep. Coffee that will get you through the next hour and a half of driving around town because you are too terrified to stop, because he. may. wake. up.
6. Prepare to go through at least 20 diapers a day.
I don’t know where the estimates of 7-10 per day came from when I was reading ahead of time. Those first weeks especially, our number was far higher than that. I blame the Law of the Litter-box. (You know how as soon as you finish scooping it out, kitty decides he needs to go? Same applies to babies and diapers). Keeping a cloth diaper or towel on the changing table will help with the inevitable times where Baby decides it is better to go without a diaper at all, but catching pee with a clean diaper is instinctive… and stupid when you are using preemie diapers. At 35 cents a piece, those things are like gold! Oh yeah — and preemie and newborn diapers aren’t sold in bulk.
7. Consider the size of your back seat when buying a car seat.
I can’t even tell you how many hours Mr. Lion spent reading consumer reports about the best and safest baby gear. When he finally decided on the car seat we would purchase, I was confident that he had made the right choice. Not only was it “like wrapping your baby in bubble wrap” according to one report, but it was easy to get in and out of the car, and snapped quickly into the stroller. I was slightly concerned when the box it came in was almost as tall as I am, but it still never occurred to me to test it out in the car. This beast of a car seat has required us to move the passenger seat so far up that the person riding up front practically is sitting in the windshield. Not the most comfortable way to travel…
8. Use bottles so Daddy can get up at night too.
This time we used bottles out of necessity, even though everything I read said not to. And maybe breastfeeding would have been a little easier in the beginning if we hadn’t, but I honestly, with all my heart, believe that I have made it through the first 2 months a million times easier because my amazing husband has been able to help. Being able to alternate night feedings has been a huge blessing, and there has rarely been a night that I wasn’t able to get at least one 5 hour stretch of sleep because of it. Plus, the joy I have gotten from seeing Mr. L cuddled up feeding LL in those early weeks was too precious to pass up. Daddy needs the opportunity to bond too.
What advice do you wish someone had given you before you became a new mom?
pomelo / 5866 posts
I love this post! Related to number 4, I wasn’t prepared to wash lots of dishes or get a dishwasher. All the pump, bottle parts, mini meals, increased cutting of fruits and vegetables, forgetting where my water glass is due to mommy-brain caused a multitude of dishes in my house!
nectarine / 2458 posts
I’ve always said my boobs were a baby snooze button, lol. Those first three months when W slept in a bassinet right next to me I would pull him into bed, put my boob in his mouth, and I’d get another hour in bed, easy. Haha.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Oh yeah. We went through so many diapers as new parents. “OMG THE LINE IS BLUE! Must change the diaper NOW!” Yes, we just changed her 2 minutes ago, doesn’t matter. The line says she’s wet!!!
Also, the eating out part? Yup. We didn’t have family or friends around who brought food to us like a lot of people do. So, we existed on takeout and sandwiches.
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
hahaha #3: my LO hated the swaddles so she was in the PJs pretty much exclusively her first 2 months!
guest
Interesting about the PJs ~ footie pajamas were all my LO wore for the first 3 months (especially since she was a winter baby).
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
I cant swaddle to save my life. Juliet is very active which doesnt help. Thankfully Mr Chocolate is an amazing swaddler ( he should enter a contest seriously)but he isnt around during the day which stinks for me. Im always so reluctant to unswaddler her once he does it as I know Ill never get it back the same way. What alternatives have you tried? I had the Kidapotomus one with Drake but he broke out of it easy so she will definitely. I tried the Aden and Anais one but the snaps were too much with a wiggly baby. Im debating trying the Miracle One now but fear itll just be another waste. I would love suggestions from one poor swaddler to another
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
Great post! I am still weaning myself from snooze!
We did still use sleepers with a swaddle though!
Another thought – Pick out a good water bottle that you like and can keep filled up near you!
pomegranate / 3314 posts
@regberadaisy: Same! We ended up getting lots of use out of our footed pajamas, though I much prefer the ones with zippers to the button-up ones.
GOLD / pineapple / 12662 posts
Not all newborns sleep a lot/all the time. If this is true for your LO, IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!
Zippered sleepers FTW! It sure beats trying to line up snaps in the middle of the night while you are sleep deprived, uncoordinated, and working in semi-darkness.
Practice doing things using only one hand. In a similar vein, keep foods in the house that you can eat with one hand.
grapefruit / 4442 posts
yes all these are so true!
blogger / grapefruit / 4836 posts
I am so jealous that you all got to use the PJs! They looked so cozy
Anything more than a onesie and LL was miserable…blame it on the spring/summer in NC I guess! It didn’t help that he was so itty bitty when he was born that he was practically swimming in even the newborn sizes. Ah well, maybe next time!
@Mrs. Chocolate, I tried the miracle blanket and LL HATED it…it was the only one that made him scream…it was also the only one that really held his arms down by his sides. The one we ended up loving was the microfleece Halo swaddle sack (not the cotton one). He could get his hand out a little bit, but it held him in snug. I think he liked it the best too, because I think if he had really wanted out he could have broken through the Velcro…fortunately, he slept well in it until he outgrew it. Shortly after we were able to give up the swaddle altogether, thankfully!! I didn’t want to shell out any more $ for the next size up
grapefruit / 4187 posts
That’s really good to know about infant PJ’s, but it’s like ‘duh!’ and should be obvious!
I’m about to stock up for future LO so I will make sure to keep his wardrobe to simple onesies for the first few months.
coconut / 8305 posts
Seriously on the swaddling! They make it look so easy & then you’re left on your own & baby breaks free almost instantly! pfft!
I would add that for the bf’ing moms, having daddy get baby, change baby, then bring baby TO you, and return the baby to bed after you’re done nursing is good for ANY time (especially night) momma needs to rest! Then you really don’t have to get up & you can pull the move that @Navy_Mommy: uses! (we use that one still too).
GOLD / pomegranate / 3938 posts
What car seat did/do you use and what kind of car did/do you have? I have a 3 series BMW and my lease is up soon. I’d like to get the same car, but I am soooooo worried that it is too small. My DH’s golf clubs barely fit in the trunk! And we love to have the front seats sooooo reclined. Yikes! I don’t know what to do when the time comes to choose a new car since we just started TTC.
pineapple / 12566 posts
We were totally the opposite on eating out. I was just too tired to drag myself out of the house (in the middle of the winter) and eat somewhere.
grapefruit / 4669 posts
Nurses are such swaddle geniuses…I think it must be witchcraft. How else could they use such a small blanket to keep a baby so secure?
blogger / grapefruit / 4836 posts
@lisamarieloves , we have the Britax Chaperone. It is enormous. You could easily find one that is a lot smaller!
I drive a Saturn Ion, and it fits, but barely. We have gotten used to it
GOLD / pomegranate / 3938 posts
@Mrs. Lion: Thanks for the info! I suppose there would be a lot of “getting used to” once a LO arrives.
pear / 1570 posts
@MsLipGloss: YES to zippered sleepers! Those were my favorite. As well as the gowns.
@runsyellowlites: That is what my DH did for me. Even those few minutes were presh. What is the @Navy_Mommy trick?
As for the swaddle – it helped me to remember that he is not a china doll! at first he was so tiny that i was afriad to jostle him too much!
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
I agree with the car. Wen we found out that we would have to have three infant backwards facing car seats I waddled myself into the car dealerships with car seats in hand and made them install them so I could make sure it would have enough room. I am pretty sure they thought I was a crazy pregnant lady but seriously three infant seats in no joke, it’s tricky to find cars that fit.
guest
We did soooo much takeout! And I did NOT feel bad about it. Now when I’m bringing over dinner for new parents, I also bring menus for whatever’s in their ‘hood. If they’re nearby, I’ll offer to pick up. I wish someone had told me to make my favorite, freezable meals — you know, those multi-step ones that you’ll never have time to make? — and pack them into my freezer in advance. Having a yummy homemade meal without the fuss is heaven.
pomegranate / 3401 posts
Great post! My LO loved being swaddled when she was in the NICU but the minute she came home, she was like, “I’m done with that!” and refused to be swaddled for another day lol. I wish someone told me to stock up on cute baby friendly tops. For some reason I didn’t think about it and was stuck wearing the same boring old tshirts. Until I did some online shopping damage.
I feel like it does wonders for my morale when I am looking cute, even if I am home all day.
bananas / 9973 posts
Great post! Yes to the first one!
We love the footed sleepers though! We’ve never done just a onesie or diaper.
@MsLipGloss: Yes! This!
Everyone told me how much babies sleep. That they sleep, eat, and poop basically till they’re 5-6 months. Um. NOPE. Not my lil darling who never wanted to sleep in the day. Awake and alert since the beginning!
GOLD / pea / 24 posts
I totally agree with the eating out factor. In addition to making life easier, for me it made life feel normal. I had pretty bad baby blues those first few weeks and getting out of the house, walking to our favorite restaurant, like we always did before the baby was born, made me feel SO much better!
GOLD / kiwi / 605 posts
I just finished reading this book and although it could be mildly offensive, I loved it — http://www.amazon.com/The-One-Tells-You-ebook/dp/B00B6U090Y
I am hoping that those fancy swaddling blankets with the velcro or buttons on whatever will work for us– and we def. plan on using bottles once I go back to work… hubby and I will trade off on night feedings since we will both be working.
persimmon / 1230 posts
So true about finding a drive-thru coffee location! I’ve never been to Starbucks as much as I have in the past 6 months since DS was born. I think a great baby shower present is a Dunkin
Donuts/Starbucks/etc gift card.
BTW, I love the lion icon! My DS’s name means lion and I’m always on the lookout for cute lion images.
nectarine / 2127 posts
I second the water bottle recommendation. I have a 1 liter Camelbak and I love it. I’m breastfeeding so I’m always thirsty and it’s nice to have a big serving of water within arms reach!
LO has lived in zippered sleepers pretty solidly for his first 3 months. He got his mommy’s giant head so even if the body of the onesie/romper fits, the head doesn’t! And he just hates stuff over his head.
Seek out breastfeeding support resources before LO arrives (if you’re breastfeeding). When you’re in the trenches and upset, exhausted, worried, etc. the last thing you want to be worried about is finding an LC and figuring out if your insurance covers it or not.