By the end of this post you’ll know exactly who I am.

I wanted to write this as AnonyBee because I don’t particularly want this post attached to my archives. I’ve gained a most loyal fan in my computer savvy, elderly neighbor. While I do care for her a lot, I don’t really want to discuss this with her. Ever.

To be clear, there are more than one of us posting as AnonyBee right now. I’m not the one TTCing for #2. I’m the one getting my freak on, for fun.

That was a little vulgar. Let me explain.

Not long ago, there was a thread on the boards discussing a blogger who wrote about how she and her husband embarked on the journey of having sex every day for a year. I didn’t go through all of the comments, but I think it was mentioned that illness and unavoidable circumstances were excused, as was AF.

I read a magazine article years ago about a guy and his wife who embarked on this same journey for thirty days, and it was a very good thing for their marriage.

I brought this up in the thread if you’re still trying to figure out who I am. Got it? Good.

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I thought about it for a few days. Mr. AnonyBee and I have recently had what some would call a dry spell. Not on purpose, but life seems to have caught up with us. We’re new parents. I probably don’t need to add anything to that, but I will. We’re new parents who went through an extended period of timed intercourse, calculating dates and times, and taking pills during our struggle with infertility. You know what’s not fun? That.

TTC and IF Bees, I know you can relate. When you first start TTC you’re all “Yay! Let’s have sex and get pregnant!” and then after a while you’re all “Can you just take your pants off, already?” There is no spontaneity involved when a doctor says you need to have sex in a specific window of time, in a specific position, with a specific sperm quality, and follicle measurement. If that doesn’t scream candles and Keith Sweat, I don’t know what does. It takes the fun right out.

I didn’t give birth to our son, but even so, my body went through some changes adjusting to my new sedentary lifestyle. I stopped working out, I lost my social circle that I had at work, I spent my days at home with a baby while my husband worked. When he came home, I just wanted to talk to him. I wanted to have some kind of conversation, which was usually me telling him the horrific things I saw on all five news shows I had watched that day. He was tired and just wanted to sleep.

We got into a pretty serious argument about our lack of sex a few days before that thread showed up on the boards, so when I read it, I really considered it. I tossed it back and forth for a few days, and then when we were sitting at the dinner table, I put my hands over our son’s ears and asked my husband to have sex with me every day for a month.

He laughed.

I will be completely honest: I did not see this making positive changes. I thought I was going to be exhausted and dread the extra physical activity I was pushing my already exhausted body into doing. I mean, I’m already tired, and then add sex on top of that. With this attitude, I’m not even sure why I suggested it in the first place. I don’t know that I actually thought I would follow through with it. My husband didn’t think I would. He told me I couldn’t handle it, so then I had to prove him wrong.

Then, the weirdest things started happening. We stayed on track with our commitment, and what I thought was already a great marriage, got better. We started talking to each other about real things, not just superficial conversation. We started laughing again like we used to. My husband offered to work something out with me so that I could go back to the gym. I started feeling good about myself again. Without the elephant in the room, we were able to relax.

And I didn’t dread getting into bed every night either. I enjoyed myself.

The nights I just wanted to go to sleep instead, I didn’t. I made myself stick with the agreement, and don’t you know, I ended up happy I stayed awake.

I can’t say this is something everyone should do. I’m saying that for me, the original blogger mentioned in the boards thread, and the guy in the magazine article, this was very worth it. This gave me my marriage back. This has made us better parents, because nothing is better for a child than two parents on the same page, ridiculously in love.