It’s been over 6 months since I went from a mom of one to a mom of two, so I’m ready to share what the experience has been like for me! Let me start by saying I had no idea how easy I had it with one. Hindsight is always 20/20.
Despite the constant state of busyness we find ourselves in, we are thoroughly enjoying our two kids, and have absolutely no regrets (ask me again when I have two toddlers…)!
On Sleep:
1st child: I knew exactly when her naps were and how long they’d last. I woke her up at set times to preserve her night sleep. Her sleep was predictable and like clockwork. I knew her schedule like the back of my hand by 6 months.
2nd child: At 6 months, I still don’t know if he’s going to take 2 or 3 naps each day. It all depends on when he wakes up, which isn’t predictable either… It’s a crapshoot and I’m just going with it. Heck, some days he doesn’t even get a nap because we drag him along to whatever his sister wants to do.
On Eating:
1st child: She’s 5.5 months, ahh that’s almost 6 months! Let’s start solids now!! How exciting! Take a picture! Let’s get it on video too! (I also went to the Farmer’s Market and bought everything under the sun).
2nd child: At 6.5 months — OH SHOOT, we forgot to feed him dinner again. Crap. (For the record – his first food was a banana, and it was completely unplanned. We had been picnicking with some friends and I didn’t want to breastfeed right then and there so I gave him a banana to gnaw on to hold him over!).
On Middle of the Night Wakeups:
1st child: Let her fuss for 10-15 minutes just like that one book told me to.
2nd child: Stumble as fast as I can out of bed and bum rush his room for fear that his crying will wake up his sister the next room over. The last thing I want is TWO crying kids in the middle of the night. Good lord.
On Health:
1st child: Didn’t get her first cold until she started daycare/preschool at 20 months.
2nd child: He’s gotten a cold at least every other month since he’s been born. His sister brings home all sorts of fun germs for him to try. She gets over it in a day. It takes the poor lil’ guy 2 weeks to recover from the same cold. Yay us.
On Crying:
1st child: Pick up, hold, cuddle. Poor baby, don’t cry!
2nd child: It goes a little like this – Jaren starts crying, but I’m already tending to Noelle who is throwing a major fit. I’ll get to you when I get to you – sorry J!
On Toys:
1st child: Everything is brand new and disinfected after each use (all carefully researched of course).
2nd child: Anything we bought specifically for him (not much), has been taken away and claimed by his sister long ago. Everything he plays with, ends up in a battle with his sister who insists on playing with it too (this is only after she sees him with it).
On Clothes:
1st child: I don’t even want to recount the number of cute clothes we bought up front that have never been worn (or were worn only once) because she grew so fast. Sigh.
2nd child: He’s been living in hand-me-down onesies his whole life, and the closest we’ve gotten to dressing him up, is putting matching socks and a cute bib on him.
On Free Time:
1st child: We LOVED having a 2 nap schedule because that meant we got some downtime too! We mourned the transition from 2 naps to 1.
2nd child: I can’t WAIT for him to drop his morning nap so we can all do more together as a family instead of being tied down by his morning nap.
On Milestones:
1st child: She rolled over from front to back on xx/xx/xx… and rolled both ways on so and so date. Both events captured on film, and video.
2nd child: What the… when did J learn how to roll over?
On Preserving Memories:
1st child: Camera phone? Check! Point & Shoot? Check! Flip video-cam? Check! DSLR? Check!
2nd child: Where did I put my iPhone again? Dangit. Oh well.
I was that first time mom who logged every diaper change, every nap, every feeding. In my state of serious sleep deprivation, I still managed to read over 10 parenting books. Don’t ask me how I did it, I don’t even know. Now that I’m a mom of two, life is crazier, but I also worry less and have more fun!
If you were to ask me what one thing I’m learning as a mom of two, I’d say that I’m learning the art of compromise, and that there is beauty in the budge. With one child, I felt so much more in control of how I wanted to parent. There were no other variables besides ourselves in terms of how we wanted our child to sleep, eat, and play. Throw in a second, and it changes the game. You can’t have razor sharp focus with the second when you have a toddler to manage too. Sometimes that means the baby is crying awhile longer than I’d like because I’m dealing with my toddler’s frustrations, other times it means my toddler has to give up a favorite toy because the baby is fussy and I need something to calm him down. We’re all learning to give, take, and budge a little – even little Toddler Heels.
Did your parenting style change when you went from 1 to 2?
Transitioning to Two Kids part 2 of 9
1. Going from one to two by Mrs. Superhero2. The Difference with Two: On Parenting by Mrs. High Heels
3. The Difference with Two: On Lifestyle by Mrs. High Heels
4. Finding Time with the Second Child by Mrs. Chocolate
5. The first year with two kids by Mrs. Palette
6. What the Transition from 1 to 2 Children was like for My Husband by Mrs. High Heels
7. Tips for Transitioning to Two by Mrs. Deer
8. Prepping #1 for #2 by Mrs. Tricycle
9. The Transition to Two Under Two by Mrs. Rabbit
coconut / 8299 posts
Are you me?? This my life right now to a T! I could have written every single one of those things you listed.
As tiring as it is, I love my life with 2 kids and wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. But yes, in hindsight, having one was much easier.
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
………..you’re scaring me ………….
nectarine / 2132 posts
you made me for real lol.
i only have one right now, but when we throw another into the mix i’m not so sure i’ll be laughing…
honeydew / 7488 posts
Hilarious, I can so relate! Another one for me is on discipline. For DD, it was “ok missy, that deserves a time out, two minutes in the corner now!” For DS it’s ” Anyone hurt? Who did this? ok DS, I’ll deal with you later… ” which rarely ever comes..
kiwi / 500 posts
Holy! This is my life in a nutshell. I was cracking up to almost everything especially the milestones one and toys! Sometimes I feel bad for my son because he doesn’t get that attention to detail that i gave my daughter but then again he gets the mom that’s also less neurotic. I realize I have a much easier going relationship with him.
blogger / persimmon / 1220 posts
Hahaha!
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
Haha yes I totally agree especially the night time waking thing I move so much faster than I thought possible because the last thing I want is 2 kids awake at 3 AM!
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Love it, so true! Little LO never gets tummy time!
guest
Thank you! This helps me relax about welcoming #1. Clearly #2 & any that come after will never have the super centralized focus that #1 receives, yet they still manage to survive and (daresay!) thrive. Even for #1, I can remind myself it’s okay if we don’t always stick to the nap routine or do everything “by the book.”
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
hahahahaah I LOVE This and was laughing the whole way. Thanks for sharing what my future will look like
I am def on the one child list in your post!
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
You had me in tears. THIS IS MY LIFE!!!!
Crazy… but fun. Right? Right???
pomegranate / 3768 posts
When did he learn to roll over? Hahaha! Love this post!
grapefruit / 4923 posts
“beauty in the budge”–i’m going to have to remember that if we have another. thanks for the perspective!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
You nailed it. Clap, clap, clap!!
nectarine / 2163 posts
i’m a little embarrassed to admit that all your points for child #2… sound like me with #1!
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
Aaah!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
@BabyBoecksMom: @Rubies: Don’t be scared! Didn’t you see the words, “no regrets” and “more fun”?!!
@Penny Lane: Hahaha, you’re one step ahead already! Maybe it’s time for #2?
@mrs. wagon: Uh… riiiiiighhhht……
@T-Mom: that’ll probably be me too in a couple more months. Good lord, I better brace myself now!
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
@Mrs. High Heels: I want to cry because DD is sick with a stomach bug and I have no idea how I will manage with two seeing how hard it is with just her! No regrets! Fun!
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
Thank you so much for posting this!!! Although life sounds hectic – this actually made me feel better about the idea of having another baby! Or maybe I’m crazy?
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
@Adira: I thought we confirmed that you’re totally crazy.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
@Mrs. High Heels: HAHAHA!! So true.
nectarine / 2163 posts
@Mrs. High Heels: I’m more than half way there
early January the tornado hits O_O
GOLD / grapefruit / 4555 posts
Awww, this made me smile! A lot of it is true for me too but I think I actually do pretty well about keeping up with (or not keeping up with
) the kid’s milestones. I mark the big ones but for the little stuff – eh. As for taking pictures it was practically always my phone and if you can’t tell from IG I snap a picture just about every day of them. Just cause they’re so stinkin’ cute together!
For us, little sister gets a lot of cool toys too. At our old house we didn’t have room for an exersaucer. In this house, we do, so little miss got an exersaucer. At our old house we had a walker we couldn’t use because (again) there was no room. Now we have plenty of room and can bust that bad boy out (for short periods of time)! And I see my kids – okay, little man – sharing a lot. No jealousy here (except when my lap is full).
But then again, mine I soooooo close in age. Which could have something to do with it all
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
@Rubies: Oh no, I’m sorry you’re having a rough time!! It was really hard for me trying to manage N during the last month of pregnancy too. I was exhausted all the time, every part of me hurt, and she was extra clingy and constantly wanted me to pick her up. I’ve been there, and it will get better once you feel more like your old self again!!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
@NaturallyCathy: That’s so sweet that DS is always willing to share with DD – what a great big brother!!
coffee bean / 40 posts
Umm…you took the words straight out of my mouth. This is totally ME! I’ve learned to just let go and not stress over the little things bc really with two little ones, it’s all about survival…zero fluff! Great post! I LOL the whole way through bc it’s all so true!
guest
This is my life story right now! Especially the eating and sleeping categories. I am just learning to go with the flow. = ]
bananas / 9973 posts
OMG, you are scaring me!