Just a couple months after Toddler Checkers’ 2nd birthday, we enrolled her in preschool since we no longer had five-day family care available. While I was pregnant, we had planned all along to enroll her in daycare after my maternity leave and had even signed a couple of waiting lists. I never dreamed my family would be available to care for Toddler Checkers when I went back to work, but a combination of unforeseen circumstances (my mother’s early retirement, my sister-in-law going to graduate school, and my postpartum depression) and willing family members made this all possible. Mr. Checkers accounts much of Toddler Checkers’ jovial and happy spirit to the fact that she has had so many loving caregivers watch over her these last two years. I am grateful.
We were able to quickly choose a local childcare center based on the recommendation of a few trustworthy friends whose children attend this school. Here she is on her first day:
Smiling on her first day; clearly she has no idea what is happening in this moment.
Surprisingly enough, no tears were shed by anyone on her first day!
And then came the second day. And every day since. We were all a little traumatized (or maybe just me and Toddler Checkers).
I am told she does not sit in a corner and scream and cry all day. On our second day, I was horrified when she let out a blood-curdling scream, and I had to pry her tiny little fingers off of my shoulders. I felt my heart shatter as I walked as quickly as I could toward the exit door. I waited around the corner for her to stop crying. Five minutes passed before I sent a text message to my husband asking if I was the worst mother ever. He asked, “Why are you still there?” Because I am a masochist.
We are now in our fourth week of “school” and I can see progress! Though drop-offs are not yet tear-free, I count whimpering and a couple of tears as a small victory. My friends also send me calls and texts throughout the morning to let me know they popped in to say hello to my girl and she is doing fine. I have good friends.
Transitioning to daycare/preschool has been an adjustment for all of us. Enter the world of drop-offs, pick-ups, preparing lunches, erratic sleep/naps, and new germs. Only a week and a half passed before Toddler Checkers was initiated into the world of germs with her first virus from school, but it wasn’t all miserable:
Home sick from school. We lived in our PJs and watched an obscene amount of Little Einsteins. Pat pat pat.
The transition from in-home care to daycare is the first of many events in the “letting go” process. Every day I work with college students, and one of the many things we encourage our parents to do at new student orientation is to let go – let their child learn, explore, and engage on their own. I am realizing this is much easier said than done; if I am experiencing emotional turmoil over daycare, I can hardly imagine what it will be like to send my child off to college. Luckily I have the next 16 years to figure it out! Today, I just need to figure out what to pack for lunch.
Hive: For those with children in daycare, how was the transition?
guest
We just transitioned from a nanny to daycare for our 11-month old. I know she will thrive in daycare but it’s so hard dropping her off each day. Today was actually the first day she did not cry when we dropped her off. She always looks happy and peaceful when I pick her up in the evenings so I know she is well cared for. It gets easier but I’m not sure it will ever be easy though!!
grapefruit / 4671 posts
We are transitioning DD to daycare right now. Today is her 4th day there and she is stil crying bloody murder on and of throughout the day. Rough times.
pomegranate / 3388 posts
Those first few weeks of dropoffs are horrible, aren’t they? It will get better, I promise. …and then when a few more months have passed, you might end up with the opposite problem — a child who cries at the end of the day b/c she doesn’t want to leave school!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
N didn’t cry the first day of school either – I was shocked, but she cried after that first day. Even now, she still cries. I think she has a harder time when I do the drop offs. But then now when I pick her up she doesn’t want to leave!
I started thinking how hard it’d be for them to leave for college too! Wah – it’s going to be right around the corner!! Letting go is hard.
apricot / 370 posts
Every transition is so hard isn’t it?? For the mommies more too because we’re crazy!!! LOL. I’m not laughing at you because I can so relate, but it’s hilarious that your husband asked why you’re still there after dropping her off, that’s the exact thing I would have done too. Same thing, 1st day LO was dropped off at preschool 3 YO, no tears, bounded off happy to play. 2nd day, ohhhhh man she cried and cried. This went on for a good 2 weeks. 3rd week, there was some tears, but more whimpering. 4th-6th week got better and better little by little until eventually she got comfortable. but fast forward now, 6 months later, she runs in with a smile to the morning teacher to start gabbing away with her, while I sign her in. what a difference.
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
We have had some difficult transitions this year. But the first day of preschool this year my twins an off and practically didn’t even say good bye. They just wanted to play. More of the adjustment came later as we adjusted our schedule and things like packing lunches and eating breakfast quickly in the morning.
blogger / persimmon / 1220 posts
@plantains: I hope things get better quickly!
@skibobrown: @Mrs. High Heels: Can’t imagine what it will be like for her to not want to leave school!
@kakimochi: It is tough! But I’m glad it gets better.
@Mrs. Train: Breakfast and packing lunches is a new world because I’m trying to figure out what is okay for her to eat w/o being refrigerated or heated for lunch!
kiwi / 511 posts
And this is why I am so glad that my DH does drop offs 99% of the time. Most of the time both boys are fine but every so often the oldest gets crazy clingy. The ladies that work at our daycare are pros and we do realize that as soon as we are out of sight (or maybe a minute or two later) the kids are fine. I have to say I love mine dearly but they are master manipulators (I am pretty sure I read that somewhere).
But yes the oldest is happy to see me at pick up but often doesn’t want to leave it is a weird sensation. He gives me a hug and wants to go back to playing.
@Mrs.Checkers insulated lunchboxes and ice packs are your friend, especially if you know when they eat their lunch and it is early.