Hellobee

Until a Hellobee friend pointed it, I didn’t quite realize all of the work that went into becoming a working mother. It wasn’t easy for me, but I did what I had to do to get to where I am, and I am so thankful for the opportunities I have been blessed with! It wasn’t long ago I believed that with my limited education and work-experience I wouldn’t have a salary great enough to cover childcare, added working costs and take-home. Before J was born, I did finish my Associates Degree in general education, but all of my work experience had been child care, retail/sales and food service. Those aren’t exactly high-paying industries. I actually was a nanny at the time I had J and did continue working once a week for the family until their childcare needs changed when J was 8 months. But even with that “job” I felt more like a SAHM; it was just one day a week that I had three kids instead of one.

When J was six months I discovered I was struggling as a SAHM. I wanted something more. But I still felt stuck in the rut of not even being sure what I could do. Every so often I would check the classifieds in the newspaper (people still do that?!), craigslist ads, care.com for more nanny jobs, career builder, monster jobs and more. I wouldn’t have said I was actively looking, but more day-dreaming about what I could maybe do someday.

this kid makes me so happy!

I decided the only way things would change was if I became more proactive about my situation. For me that meant finishing my education in what I wanted to do. I have wanted to work in healthcare since I was a young teen. A doctor of some sort was an original dream, but as a mom that dream morphed into nursing: I couldn’t beat the flexibility of the schedule but more importantly, the calling to help people everyday was and is so enticing to me. I met with a guidance counselor at my school and she helped me map out a plan to get accepted to nursing school. I got everything in order: applied for FAFSA, registered classes, and even started squirreling away some money in hopes that I could put J in childcare a few days a week so I could work on school.

Without even intending to really, I applied for an administrative position I found at a local clinic. It was perfect: only 20 miles away, decent pay, benefits, flexible schedule and with a reputable healthcare system. It would be an amazing stepping stone to a career in healthcare. But I honestly never thought it would come to fruition… until I reconnected with a childhood friend and upon discussion, learned she worked in the exact position I had applied for. She talked to her supervisor and the next day I had an interview. I was beyond thrilled. Psyched. Happy. Nervous. Anxious. Scared. I knew I was under-qualified for the job (lacking any healthcare experience), but I still held onto hope.

Although I didn’t want to jump the gun so to speak, I knew if this worked out I needed to have options as far as childcare. I found a daycare I loved: huge yard with play set, play houses, toddler and preschool curriculum, no TV, healthy organic meals and teachers with education degrees. Perfect. Until I learned they don’t accept part-time children.

Next option: a daycare on my way to work, a husband-wife team who share the same faith as me, with a great yard and decent meals: they were full.

Every daycare option I liked seemed to fall through. I was losing steam. But then my 16 year old brother called me and actually begged me to be my nanny. I told him point blank that I couldn’t pay what a nanny is worth to me and I needed to be fair to him, and I knew he was worth more. He was relentless. I discussed it with my parents and they were okay with the pay, as was he. It would officially be his first job. I was hesitant initially, but grateful something had panned out and turned into a wonderful child care situation!

Then came my interview. I dressed up, dropped J at my parents’ and drove to the clinic. I felt so blessed to be given this opportunity, and the interview went so well. I only had to wait less than two days for a phone call with an offer! I was ecstatic. Even more amazing? They gave me three work schedules to choose from: all part time with an option to switch schedules later on if I wanted to.

Even though we had child care arranged, here came the hard part. The stressful part. With this particular job, there was a lot of training. Just think of how many behind-the-scene details there are in a clinic or hospital: insurance, complex medical records and computer systems, phone systems, varying schedules among providers, privacy and compliance policies, effectively handling patients, etc. Many of my family/friends were shocked there was so much involved in the initial 6-8 weeks on the job, but it was definitely needed! However this training wasn’t just at my clinic within my scheduled hours: it required a full-time schedule for over a month at the training center an hour away… and during rush hour traffic in our snowy winter, it was easily a 2-2.5 hour commute.

Here’s the kicker: Mr. Pen and I have shared a car for the last 2.5 years. It has worked well thus far as we live one mile from his work. On nice days, he will walk or bike to work and I can have the car. Other days I simply stayed home with J. But then his job started outsourcing him to other sites, and he required the use of the car multiple times a week. With me working every day 40 miles away, and him working every day at multiple locations, we didn’t know what to do. We looked into renting a car just for the couple days each week we’d need two cars, but that would deplete my entire paycheck. Seeing as the first check didn’t even come until three weeks on the job, that option was out.

Next we looked into buying a car – but after a year of being a stay at home mom, we didn’t have the funds for a new car, nor a decent down payment.

Thirdly we looked into public transportation. Although my training site was 45 miles away, there is a train that runs from my town to Minneapolis. We nearly went that route except that we were pretty nervous since my training site was in a sketchy area, and I would have had to walk over a mile from the station to the training site.

Our last resort: a cry for help. I called my sister and they were able to lend us their car for one day each week we needed it. I called my parents: they rearranged their schedules so that we could lend us my dad’s car for the other day of the week. This schedule required a lot of running around for three weeks to get our family their cars returned after we got home from work, and some nights we had to bring our nanny home (15 mins away) all while juggling caring for J, making dinner and bedtime routine. Although I was enjoying my new job, it was a heck of a month for us!

After the first two months on the job, my schedule finally evened out and I started working more predictable hours. It is amazing to me though, looking back, how much we went through to be sure that I was choosing a situation for our family that ultimately meant everyone’s security and happiness.

Mr. Pen and I are still sharing a car, but I only work 2-3 days a week, and for now he is done teaching at other campuses. I’m still set to return to school in four weeks. And our nanny (brother) situation is working out splendidly! We love that J’s uncle is watching him, that our family is a phone call away if he needs them, and that my brother is gaining valuable experience while working for people he loves and trusts.

In our situation this is what was required of us:

• Initially for myself: finding a job that not only paid enough to justify added costs of working (commute and childcare), but was flexible with schedule
• In addition: changing my mindset of selling myself short by consistently saying I couldn’t work because I wasn’t worth enough.
• Finding child care part-time, but flexible enough to allow us to pick up days and do full-time for the first 6-8 weeks
• Commuting: figuring out our car situation and if we could realistically continue shared car use
• Home organization: what would it look like to have two working parents? How would we divide responsibilities?
• Meals: we had to start packing lunches for myself, Mr. Pen, J and my brother, and planning dinners
• Decision making as a family on what we felt was the best situation for all three of us.

I have been at my new job for over five months now and I cannot reiterate how thankful I am for the opportunity I have been given. I am enjoying my position and I know I have so much room to grow within my company. I have to admit I’m proud of myself for pulling through and working hard to choose a situation in my life that makes me happier. We are all 100% at peace with our life right now, we are all happy and we are all in agreement that this is the best situation for us at this time in our lives.

I have learned so much through this process but most importantly it is that no woman, mother or not, should feel they have to sell themselves short based merely on education and/or work experience. I am proud of myself because I believed in myself enough to take a chance; I am proud of my husband for supporting and believing in me and I am even proud of J… not for just making an amazing transition to me working a few times a week but also for being such a positive light in my life. He has helped restore my confidence. I am one blessed mama and wife.