Once our kids turned 3, one of the big decisions for us was whether or not to keep them in daycare or move them to a 3’s program at a more education-focused preschool. We handled the decisions differently for Charlie and Olive.

C H A R L I E

Last year when Charlie turned 3, all the kids at his daycare except for Charlie and one other child went on to 3’s programs at preschools. We considered sending Charlie elsewhere too, but it just made more sense for us to keep him in the same daycare another year for a number of reasons:

  • The preschool application process in New York is crazy. I spent hours researching all our local preschools and navigating the open houses, tours and applications. Many parents in our neighborhood line up at 4am for just a chance at a slot at the most popular schools that are lottery or first come first served!
  • Our daycare has one mixed age class, so Charlie and Olive would be in the same class when she started. The transition for Olive would be seamless since Charlie was already there.
  • It’d be much easier for us to have both kids in one place for pickup/drop off, one set of rules, one schedule, etc.

Charlie attended daycare from 21 months – 3 1/2 then went onto public pre-k.

O L I V E

Olive has been in daycare since she was 16 months old, and will be transitioning to a 2’s or 3’s program at a more education-focused preschool next year (her birthday is after the September cut-off for most preschools so she may not be eligible for a 3’s program the year she turns 3).  We made the decision based on three main factors:

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1) The intensity of the pre-k curriculum

Since Charlie started pre-k last month, we now know how much is expected of the kids. Olive will be about the same age as Charlie when she starts pre-k and we want to help her be prepared. With a December birthday Charlie is the youngest kid in the class, and I can see a big difference between him and the kids who were born at the beginning of the year. Most of the kids already knew how to write their own names, and some of them can color completely within the lines (a skill Charlie is very far away from mastering). Charlie also gets 5 homework assignments every Monday for that week. So Olive needs to have a good grasp of the alphabet, numbers, and general writing ability before she starts pre-k. It’s crazy to think that we have to prepare for school at such a young age now (she just turned 2), but studies have shown that the quality of education in these early years actually do have a dramatic impact.

2) Developmental delays & a broader variety of experiences

Even though Charlie is young, we haven’t worried too much about him because he’s a pretty sharp kid that’s always loved reading. But Olive was a preemie that isn’t the biggest fan of reading, and she has been a little delayed in several developmental areas. Once she started daycare at 16 months, we saw dramatic improvements. The structure, the stimulation, the other kids were all great for her, so we know that the school setting is right for her.

We’re not looking to send her an intense, academically rigorous preschool. But we are looking to send her to a larger school with more resources that can expose her to a wider variety of experiences, which has really been the key to her development. Our current daycare is very small so their resources are more limited, and the children tend to do similar things each day.

3) A more stimulating and challenging environment

We had a playdate this past weekend with the one friend (let’s call him Gary) that remained in the daycare with Charlie. Gary is now in a private pre-k program, and absolutely loves it. His mom told us that he loved his first year at the daycare because he was one of the youngest kids along with Charlie. But the other kids all went onto preschools, and Charlie and Gary were the only ones that remained, becoming the two oldest kids. In his second year, Gary started telling his mom that he didn’t want to go to school anymore, most likely because with the new younger children, he wasn’t being challenged enough or having as much fun. Even though we knew our daycare wasn’t as education-focused as other preschool 3’s programs, Charlie was so happy there and never expressed any reluctance to attend. In fact Charlie adores his daycare teacher so much, I’d say he loves her as much as he loves me and Mr. Bee!

Then earlier this year Charlie started fighting bedtime and often wouldn’t go to bed until 10:30pm at night. Until recently, we believed that it was because he was getting ready to drop his nap, and the 2+ hour nap he was getting at daycare was affecting his bedtime. But Gary’s mom told us that it was probably because Charlie wasn’t being stimulated enough. It was really a lightbulb moment because there is a dramatic difference now that Charlie is in pre-k and is challenged and stimulated each day. He says he’s tired and wants to go to bed every night at 7pm — something he never used to do!

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We have absolutely loved our daycare because the teachers truly love the children and the children love them too. I think putting Charlie and Olive in daycare (as opposed to having a nanny) was one of the best parenting decisions we ever made, even though it was much easier when we had a nanny. The teachers have been a part of our family for the past 2+ years and they’ve taken such great care of Charlie and Olive. They provided such a nurturing environment for Charlie and Olive, which was really what they needed at the time.

But we think it’s best that Olive leave the daycare we love for a preschool program next September. I just hope that we can find a program that’s really right for Olive because she could get lost in a 3’s program that’s too challenging for her, and she could get bored in a 2’s program because she’s one of the oldest kids. We actually have to start the preschool application process right now because tours are already starting for enrollment next fall, and some application deadlines have even already passed.

It is really bittersweet to think about leaving our daycare because we do love it so much. But we have to do what’s best for Olive, and I think a larger preschool will better help her develop and thrive.

Does your little one go to a daycare or a preschool? If they’re in a daycare, will you transition them to a preschool at some point?