Two years ago, we added a member to our family – a fabulous black labradoodle puppy named Kenzie. After months of trying to conceive, we decided that getting a puppy before getting pregnant would be wise, since we could train her and acclimate her to our home well before welcoming a child. Our friends were so excited to meet her, and many of them remarked that we must be getting ready to have a baby, since all married couples who get dogs are just biding their time before adding a baby to the mix. Unbeknownst to me, apparently this is a thing.
Little did we know how right they were. Just two short weeks after bringing her home, we finally got our BIG FAT POSITIVE, after many, many months of negatives. While taking care of a tiny puppy who wasn’t yet house-trained while in the throes of the first trimester was not ideal timing, I believe that taking care of a puppy was great training for what came next with Little C.
1) Sleepless nights. In Kenzie’s first couple weeks home, she did not sleep through the night. While it seemed like she was sleeping and napping constantly, up to 18-20 hours a day (just like a new baby), it never seemed that she could make it through the night. We would go out at 11 p.m. before bed and by 3 a.m. she’d need to get up and go out again. It’s odd, but I felt like I had mommy-style super hearing, and would notice immediately when she was whimpering and needed us. Thank heavens that was a short-term ordeal, and of course, you don’t face sleep regressions and night terrors and all the other stuff a baby can throw at you in the middle of the night, but still, preparation nonetheless.
2) Your schedule is no longer your own. I am really glad that our puppy taught me about this. In my years before dog and baby, I could come and go as I pleased. Shopping with a pal after work? Sure, why not. Staying out ’til 2 am? Absolutely. Once Kenzie entered the mix, we had to arrange for a dog walker mid-day, and then I would have to hustle home from work to take her out to do her business. And sleeping in? That was a thing of the past. While it really wasn’t a colossal inconvenience, it was like tip-toeing into the world of true parenthood, where my child dictates wake-up time, outings need to be scheduled around naps, and baby-free outings need to be planned weeks in advance to ensure that we can book a sitter. At least the dog doesn’t need a babysitter when we are out and about.
3) Expensive! When we talked about expanding our family, we knew that babies need lots of things. Hugs and kisses. Diapers, car seats and cribs. Clothes, books and toys. Hey, at least the hugs and kisses are free. Puppies come with a whole set of costs too, both expected and unexpected. Budgeting for puppy – her kibble, medicine, toys, crate, bed, vet bills, dog walker, etc. – was a great wake up call for us to begin preparing financially for having a child.
L: Mr. Confetti and Kenzie; R: Kenzie post spay surgery in my t-shirts
All of that said, the greatest difference between getting a puppy and having a baby is that once you have a baby, your parents and grandparents stop nagging you about their dire need of grandchildren/great-grandchildren (or at least until he is 16 months, and you start getting peppered with questions about number two). The puppy did nothing in that regard—in fact, it just gave my grandparents an opportunity to tell us point blank that a puppy is not the kind of baby they had in mind.
While adding a pet to the family is no where near the same thing as adding a child, looking back, I’m really glad that we did it in that order. Taking care of someone else (even if she was just a puppy) was a great learning experience that helped me so much as I prepared for Little C’s arrival nine months later.
Anyone else out there get a puppy before having a baby? Did being a pet owner prepare you for becoming a parent?
grapefruit / 4649 posts
We got a dog last summer and it is funny how baby like he can seem sometimes! The most surprising thing for me is how much I worry about him, I wouldn’t describe myself as a dog person yet somehow I am pretty obsessed with this dog. I have zero super hearing when it comes to him though, but my husband will wake up in the middle of the night because he could hear changes in the dog’s breathing which is one of the only cues that he needs to go out unless he is super desperate. Hopefully my husband’s middle of the night super power will translate to when we have babies!
coconut / 8854 posts
YES!!! We got a puppy 9 months ago actually! He is turning 1 in a week.
Seriously, it really does feel that I have a small child at home! I love him to pieces, but it really is prepping me for motherhood!
I totally get it when you said the middle of the night waking’s, he is still doing this to us randomly! He has kennel cough right now, so he had us up all night last night coughing and puking. My heart was broken for him
I can’t imagine how I will be when we have a sick baby at home!
cherry / 187 posts
I totally get how it could help you prep for having a baby, but I admit I hate it when someone who does not have a child compares their dog to my child! Not the same thing, but thanks!
guest
Oh how wonderful! Thank you for sharing!
xo
pomegranate / 3225 posts
Having a doggie definitely showed me that my DH could take excellent care of something other than himself
coffee bean / 36 posts
My husband and I are still in the TTC process, but we’re so happy we’ve got our dog to practice on! When we got her we quickly learned that we have very different approaches to training, which highlighted some communications issues we had. We called our dog training classes couples counseling, there were some pretty tense moments lol. I’m so glad our puppy brought these issues to the surface so we could work on them before we have a baby!
cherry / 235 posts
Our story is very similar to yours! We had been TTC for almost a year and it just wasn’t happening. So we decided that we would move up our plans to get a puppy. 3 weeks after commiting to a puppy from a new litter we found out I was pregnant.
Thankfully DH was great about getting up in the middle of the night and taking him out since I was so worn out from the pregnancy!
Looking back on it now people probably thought we were crazy to get a puppy only months before bringing home a baby, but I think it worked out perfectly. Not only did it give us a chance to practice parenting, but DS had a companion/best friend from day 1. And I love that my children will be growing up with dogs!
pomegranate / 3414 posts
We got a Newfoundland puppy one month after our wedding but didn’t start trying for LO until after our 1 year anniversary. When we announced our pregnancy, a friend gave us the book “Everything I know about Parenting I learned from my puppy”. It was pretty much the same things you listed.
kiwi / 550 posts
Ahh that picture of her in your t shirt. Love it. I do feel that fostering many litters of bottle feed kittens has helped prepare us in similar ways. Lots of people say getting a pet is not good preparation for parenthood but I raise babies too and the kittens are so much harder. I’ve spent entire nights awake touching their tummies to keep them breathing. If absolutely nothing else it was an exercise in Team Work for my partner and me.
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
I could have written this post word for word!!! I have articulated this to so many people. Puppies are a great introduction to what it might be like to have a baby!
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
We had a fur-baby first too. And got the same reaction from friends and family… Like, oh… A baby must be next! Joke was on them though since we waited six more years to even think about that!