You’ve all heard of how the Terrible Twos really start at 18 months… and even possibly how the Traumatic Threes are even worse than the Twos. I distinguish the two from each other in that during the Twos, your child doesn’t really understand right from wrong, so they need to learn while challenging you… while during the Threes, they do know the difference, but still challenge you!

I can’t even describe how disheartening, as the mother of an infant, to hear, “oh, just wait til he hits the Terrible Twos… actually much sooner than 2 years old…” and even MORE discouraging to hear, “oh actually, the Threes are even worse than the Twos” while you’re going through those Terrible Twos.

But I am here to proclaim the good news.

The Fours are… FABULOUS!!!

Our fabulous four year old’s school picture

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The most fabulous thing about the Fabulous Fours is that children start to do things for themselves.

Of course, every child’s development proceeds at different rates, and every child’s temperament is different, so the “Fabulous Fours” might hit some time before or after they hit age 4, But Wagon Jr. seemed to hit them right around the time he turned 4, which is great timing for us because Lil Miss Wagon is about to turn 18 months and is well into her Terrible Twos already.

Here are some key ways in which the Fours have been Fabulous for us.

  • He doesn’t need us first thing in the morning. Now that he’s in a regular bed, we’ve given him a digital alarm clock that sits on his bedside table. He knows that he needs to stay laying down until the sun comes up, and he can’t leave his room until the first number turns to 7. Most mornings he reads books and plays with his stuffed animals, and comes running into our room announcing that his clock says 7.
  • He can dress himself. All I need to do is place his clothes on his bedside table the night before, and he can change from his pajamas to his playclothes.
  • He can go to the bathroom without assistance. As he’s accustomed to, whenever he has to go to the bathroom, he announces “I have to go potty!” But instead of scrambling to help him there, I say “…then go!” and he runs off. The only thing he needs help is with wiping if it’s a bowel movement. He does know how to wipe, but he’s not quite thorough enough just yet. Going to the bathroom by himself also means that he can go in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning without waking us up. And to go along with that…
  • He can wash his hands. We have a tall stepstool at the sink in each bathroom, so he can climb up, lean over to turn on the water, dispense soap, wash his hands, and dry them all by himself. Which means he doesn’t need us at all when he goes to the bathroom, and we can tell him to wash up before dinner so he can wash them while we’re putting food on the table.
  • He can brush his teeth. He brushes his teeth at daycare, and at bedtime this means he only needs help with his bath. While we’re prepping his bath, he brushes his own teeth (puts the toothpaste on the toothbrush, fills his cup, etc.) and goes to the bathroom by himself.
  • We don’t have to help him eat. Most meals don’t require a bib anymore, he can use utensils (including kiddie chopsticks), and he can put his plate in the sink when he’s done.
  • He can blow his nose. He’s been able to do this for a while now, but it’s a wonderful thing, so I’m putting it in here!
  • He can get places on his own. Up and down the stairs, through the baby gate locks, up into his carseat (and sometimes he buckles himself in, but we still check him before we drive off), up into his or our bed… we pretty much never have to physically help him get anywhere. Which helps when you’re alone with him and a clingy toddler!
  • Educational games on the tablet. Now that he knows all his numbers and letters, he can finally actually play the educational games I’ve downloaded onto our tablet. Before, he could play the matching and coloring games, but the wealth of apps that he can actually use and learn from now is huge! And I don’t feel as guilty about tablet screentime as I do with TV.

There are, of course, so many other things that are fabulous. And obviously, it’s not all sugar and roses… he still has tantrums and has to go into Time Out several times a week. And it’s a whole new world of tantrums… sometimes we find ourselves actually arguing with him. This is good AND bad: good in that we can reason with him (we explain, and he understands, why he can or can’t do something) but bad in that he is now willful, talks back, and we’re much harder on him when he does something that he already knows is wrong. And of course, the whole world of lies, excuses, backtalk, and objections has totally opened up. We’ve already had a few “you have to tell the truth, even if it will get you into trouble” speeches, and luckily for us, he seems to take to them very well (so far!).

I think the only really bad thing about Four is that WJ still really needs a nap, but often refuses, so around 5pm things start breaking down. He’s gone to bed without dinner a few times… but he never wakes up crying for food, and usually just downs a huge breakfast in the morning!

Have the fours been fabulous for your LO? If your LO isn’t four yet, what are you most looking forward to?