“I think my flight is delayed,” is one phrase you never want to hear from your husband after he’s been gone for a few days. Papa Jumper being out of the house seems to wreak havoc on any semblance of a schedule Chloe might have. Naps?No thanks. Bedtime?  I think I’ll stay up until midnight and cry for daddy! Murphy’s Law says that when daddy is out of town, Chloe will get a cold, boycott sleep and refuse to eat.

Traveling was not always a part of his job requirement, but over the last five years his position has evolved and today he travels quite often. Before we had kids I didn’t mind that he traveled. If I was lucky, I’d get to tag along with him. He sits on a panel that has biannual conferences that are almost always held internationally, so twice a year he’s gone for two weeks at a time. He sits on another panel and travels domestically almost every month (but sometimes twice a month) and is gone for 2-3 days at a time. It’s not a lot in the grand scheme of things, but it’s just enough that it used to affect Chloe while he was gone.  She doesn’t like it when he isn’t home!

ADVERTISEMENT

The first time he traveled after we had Chloe was when she was 7 months old. This was the first time I was alone with Chloe for an extended period of time, and I worried what our days would look like.  She was still young and I had a hard time coming up with activities for us to do. The monotony of our days made me feel a little lonely and our days moved so slowly. Chloe had been sleeping through the night for a while at this point, but after Papa Jumper left all bets were off.  I found myself being thankful for our time difference because I could at least talk to my husband in the middle of the night! I was downright exhausted — more tired than our newborn days!! — in part because her sleep schedule was horrendous, but mostly because it was tiring being the sole caregiver 24/7.

The second time he traveled Chloe was older, and it was only for a few days, but I had learned my lesson from the last time he was gone. I found ways to spend our time and made sure I broke up our day by keeping busy. At this point, we had new neighbors move in across the street and our girls became fast friends. Most of our time was spent playing outdoors with my friend and her toddler. This trip went much, much smoother for us and now I don’t even blink an eye when he says he has to go out of town.

As Chloe got older and I felt more confident in my parenting skills, I found that solo-parenting for a few weeks wasn’t much more difficult than being a WAHM.  We were established in our day-time routine, which didn’t change when Papa Jumper was out of town, so I really only had to find activities that would fill up our evening time in his absence.

Papa’s out of town, so off to Grandma’s house we go!

Here what’s I’ve learned:

– Keep a schedule.  My days felt so long whenever my husband was out of town.  I found myself looking forward to bedtime instead of enjoying the time I did have with Chloe. I always thought, “What are we going to do all day?!” but the truth is, I am already a WAHM/SAHM. We already have a routine. Why I threw it out the window during his first business trip is beyond me. Keeping a schedule and following a routine allowed me to have normalcy during the day.

– Keep busy.  When Chloe was younger, I had a hard time coming up with activities for us to do. I wasn’t a part of any play groups or clubs, and she was too young to benefit from socializing. Now our days are jam packed full of activities, so our schedule doesn’t change much if my husband isn’t home. To add activities to our evenings, I’ll go to my parents for dinner or take Chloe for an extra long walk.

– Arrange for weekday play dates.  We are in a play group now, with her friends from pre-school, and we get together fairly often. It’s a lot of fun for all of us and really tires her out which means there will be a nice, long nap in the afternoon.

– Cut yourself some slack.  I work from home and have a caregiver come to watch Chloe while I work.  It’s necessary for me to work, but it also give me a little break in my day and really helps improve my mood.  It’s amazing what some alone time (even if I’m working!) can do!  Sometimes I’ll order a pizza for dinner because cooking seems like such chore.

– Pick up throughout the day.  I try to clean up as we go along throughout the day, but sometimes I get lazy and wait until Chloe is in bed before I finish.  My husband helps me every night to pick up the rest of the toys and do the dishes or laundry. When I’m solo-parenting, though, I’m usually ready to fall asleep as soon as she’s down for the night.  Picking up throughout the day means I don’t wake up the next morning annoyed that I forgot to run the dishwasher!

– Have fun! In the summer, we spend most of our days outside.  Sometimes we eat a picnic dinner in the backyard so I don’t have to worry about doing dishes or cleaning the table.  After a rain storm we go for “puddle walks,” which means Chloe wears flip flops and jumps in every puddle we see on our walk.  In the winter, we fill our days with craft projects or snuggle and watch a movie.

How do you handle solo-parenting?  Do you have any tips to share?