“I see two mommys,” Drake said giggling one day at dinner time. At 3 Drake is prone to all kinds of silly talk, so I simply brushed it off. A few moments later he started giggling again saying, “I see two mommies.” Unsure about what to think, I told him, “You only have one mommy.” Then he got more insistent, “I see twoooo mommies. Twooo mommies!” It was then that Mr. Chocolate looked over at Drake more closely and turned to me to say, “I think Drake has a lazy eye.”
A lazy eye occur when the brain favors one eye over the other, causing the less favored eye to wander to the side at times. Mr. Chocolate is familiar with lazy eyes, as he and his father both have them. Mr. Chocolate told me that sometimes when the eye wanders to the side it can cause double vision, which was why Drake was insisting he could see two of me. Looking at Drake I couldn’t pick out any difference from his face, but I guess because Mr. Chocolate is more familiar with the condition, it clicked when he thought about how he inherited it from his own father.
When Mr. Chocolate was around Drake’s age, he was diagnosed with a lazy eye. He was fitted with an eye patch to help strengthen his weaker eye. I remember flipping through Mr. Chocolate’s photo albums at his parents’ house of when he was growing up, and seeing him wear his eye patch through the years. Luckily when he entered school many of the kids in his class thought the patch was neat and cool and instead of being teased for it, he was actually a mini celebrity for it. One Halloween Mr. Chocolate’s mom even made him a pirate costume since he already had the perfect accessory to match the costume. The eye patch definitely made a difference as Mr. Chocolate’s father’s lazy eye was never treated, and it is quite apparent at times when his eye begins to drift. Sometimes when Mr. Chocolate gets tired his can also drift a bit, but because of the help of the patch he has better control of it and can often pull it back, especially if I mention it to him.
I admit I am a little daunted at the idea of this new discovery. I always assumed Drake and Juliet would need corrective lenses at some point in their lives — both Mr. Chocolate and I wear contacts and I have worn glasses or some form of contacts since 1st grade. But the idea of something more than just glasses was never a thought to me. Mr. Chocolate wore his eye patch for five years, from around age 5 to age 10, which honestly is a long time if you ask me. While the results are clearly worth it when I see the comparison with his father, it’s also a long time to wear something that’s conspicuous, odd looking, and obvious on one’s face as well. I marvel at how Mr. Chocolate was never teased for it for all the years he had it, and chalk it up to a sweeter time perhaps.
While we don’t have a formal diagnosis yet, I am currently looking for pediatric optometrists in the area so we can move forward. Part of me is hoping Mr. Chocolate is wrong, that the treatment for lazy eyes has changed, that Drake’s isn’t that severe and he won’t need a patch at all, or if he does the time period he uses it will be shorter than Mr. Chocolate’s… or a myriad of other things that seem more appealing in the long run. While I definitely want to help Drake fix the issue if there is one, I also admit to worrying about teasing or bullying and his self esteem. Children just seem more cruel these days even if it’s just a perceived perception brought on by media stories. I look at my sweet boy and just hope that this small difference wont make him stand out to be so different just as he enters the world of school, friends, and other things out of my control.
guest
You should see an ophthalmologist not an optometrist!
persimmon / 1472 posts
My little sister was diagnosed with lazy eye when she was 2.5 back in 1992 and while I was too young to remember the severity of it, she only had to wear the eye patch at home for 2 years and didn’t have to wear it to school. By the time she went to kindergarten she no longer needed it. Hopefully Drake’s isn’t severe and he will only need to wear not during waking hours at home? Sending hugs!!!
guest
I also had Amblyopia (personally hate the term lazy eye) but only found out when I was 16 during the vision portion of my driver’s test.
The technician scoffed, saying that I was blind in one eye. My mother booked an appointment with a specialist, and when I couldn’t read the largest letter with my bad eye, diagnosed me with amblyopia. My mother felt horrible for not seeing the signs earlier.
Since I found out so late, it can’t be corrected. Sure, it limits some of my career choices (I can’t become a pilot, etc.) but it doesn’t impact my daily life.
Truthfully, I am happy I found out so late. Another kid in my class had the eye patch and was teased, Although I might not have been teased, or might have overcome it, but I might have become a different person with the process.
cherry / 159 posts
My cousin had a lazy eye when we were younger. She didn’t have to wear a patch. She had special glasses that had a more opaque lens over the eye that was fine, and a clear lens over the eye that needed correction. She also wore it for a few years, but at least it was not as conspicuous as a patch.
apple seed / 1 posts
My one year old has to patch for several hours a day. It is definitely a challenge, and I do worry about him getting teased when he gets older. That said, we’ve had only positive interactions when he wears it out in public. And they make some really cute patches! Also, check out littlefoureyes.com – there are lots of parents on there dealing with amblyopia and patching.
pomegranate / 3921 posts
I have a mild lazy eye, and also terrible vision in general. I got sent to an eye doctor after a routine screening at school. When I got my first pair of glasses (in first grade), I proclaimed “Mom! There’s only one of everything!” My mother felt terrible – but I’m a poster child for at-school screenings!
pear / 1846 posts
I had a lazy eye and wore a patch when I was very young. Never got any teasing for it and now, even the optician struggles to see the difference between them (I can’t even remember which one it is) if in doubt I would totally go for the patch!
pomelo / 5041 posts
Check out Eye Power Kids Wear! An Oregon mom whose child has to wear an eye patch designed these cool shirts for the kids to wear that make them out to feel like super heroes. If your son does end up with the need for a patch this may help position him amongst kids the way your husband was.
persimmon / 1178 posts
There are many reasons an eye may drift and even more for double vision and an ophthalmologist can tell you what is going on.
I have a crooked eye and the patch didn’t work. My crooked eye actually has better vision than my ‘good’ eye. If the eyes aren’t aligned for some reason, it causes double vision and the brain’s response is to ‘shut off’ one eye.
Anyway, I hope this fix is quick and painless for both you and Drake!
honeydew / 7916 posts
Agree, I also dislike the term lazy eye. You can have amblyopia without having an eye technically drift away. The form I have involves a large difference in visual acuity, so no one would ever know there’s anything wrong (I’ve always gotten away without glasses because I’m so farsighted).
blogger / pomegranate / 3491 posts
I wish you guys the best of luck figuring this out!