I’m struggling. I had a miscarriage last August and went on clomid in October. I stayed on it for three cycles, then decided I wanted to take a break, but still try to get pregnant. When AF arrived at the end of that cycle, my husband encouraged me to try clomid again, so I did. Now that this cycle has ended, I’m not sure where to go from here.
I’ve read that taking clomid for several months in a row can thin the lining of the uterus in some women, making implantation difficult or impossible. I’ve also read that in order for the lining to build back up, a woman needs to be off of clomid for at least 6 weeks. My gut tells me that I should stop taking clomid and try to get pregnant without it, hoping that it has jump started my body to ovulate regularly and that my lining will build back up (not that I know it’s thin, I’m just guessing) and I’ll get pregnant. I got pregnant without clomid last time (with our loss), so I know it’s possible.
I’m taking clomid with a prescription from my OBGYN, not an RE. My insurance doesn’t cover a visit to an RE, and since I got pregnant with Liam on clomid, unmonitored, I decided to try that again. If I had an RE, they would be checking the thickness of my lining, but my OB doesn’t do that. He said I can take clomid for 7 cycles before I’d need a break. I’ve only taken the lowest dose and my progesterone levels after ovulation are always above the normal range, so I know it works to help me ovulate.
The other problem I’m struggling with is feeling so so sad as each new cycle begins and I’m still not pregnant. My due date for the pregnancy I lost is coming up in a month, and I’d been hoping that I would be pregnant before that. Not only am I dealing with emotions due to TTC for more than 7 months, but I’m still dealing with that loss and thinking about how pregnant I would have been at this time and how Liam would have a sibling just in time for his 2nd birthday.
I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression most of my life and have seen a therapist off and on since I was in high school. I started seeing a new one when we were TTC the first time and it was taking longer than I had hoped, and she has helped me work through a lot of things over the last few years. I last saw her right after AF showed up last month and now that it’s back, I just don’t know if regular therapy is enough for me anymore. I’ve always been resistant to taking an antidepressant, but I’ve been researching them in the last couple of days.
I just want to be happy. I want to be happy at work, I want to be happy for my husband and my son, I want to be happy with friends. I have happy moments, but overall, I don’t feel like I’m a happy person. I’m hesitant to go on medication, not because I think it makes me weak or anything, but because I don’t want to deal with any side effects or have to put TTC on hold. I know there are some medications that are safe for TTC and pregnancy, so I plan to look into that further. I also don’t want to have to take medication for the rest of my life and I worry that once I start, I won’t be able to stop.
For now, I’m going to make an appointment with my therapist and my OBGYN. I’ll talk to both of them about all this and get their advice. I also would like to sign up for a yoga or ballet class. I haven’t taken either since I was pregnant with Liam, so it would be good for my body and my soul to get back in to something like that. It’s my birthday next week, so I’ve made an appointment to get my hair cut (it’s been about 8 months), and I’d also like to make some time to get a pedicure and buy myself a new outfit. These things won’t fix my problems, but they’ll make me feel better about myself, so that’s always a good thing.
One other thing I’ve noticed is that I always feel the worst right when a new cycle begins. I’m usually feeling better after about a week, then I start feeling bad again at the end of the cycle, when I feel AF symptoms. Maybe I only think I’m always unhappy because I’m unhappy now. Maybe next week I’ll feel better and realize that it’s just during these times that I feel so low.
apricot / 364 posts
I just want to give you a hug and fingers crossed that you start feeling more optimistic and happy, medication or not. Thanks for sharing.
Also yoga always makes me feel less anxious and that translates to more happy. Hope that helps you as well.
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
Big hugs
grapefruit / 4717 posts
Hugs. One great aspect here is how self-aware you are. I hope you find a combination of therapies — yoga, shopping, talk, medication — that helps you feel happier more of the time.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Hugs, I hope you feel better soon.
blogger / pomegranate / 3491 posts
Hugs xoxo
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
@pregnantbee: Thank you. Sometimes I feel like being so self-aware can be more of a curse than a blessing because I’m constantly thinking about my mental health instead of just enjoying life.
@hilary: @chopsuey: @autumnlove: @Mrs. Confetti: thank you!
grapefruit / 4717 posts
@mrs. tictactoe: Nah, I think it’s a good quality. It means you’re always striving to improve yourself.
guest
Hugs to you. I remember going through those same feelings when I was TTC #1 (15 months). At the same time, my mom had been diagnosed with cancer. I think that yoga really helped me release a lot of the emotions.
cantaloupe / 6086 posts
hugs hugs hugs.
I have been struggling in similar ways each cycle. I too am doing clomid cycles (next will be #8 over 2 kids). once I got on clomid it was easier last time than it has been this time, though in both cases I’ve had two chemicals (4 so far total).
it is definitely cyclical for me and the clomid sure doesn’t help. the days I take it I feel extra sad.
just take care of yourself and do whatever little and big things you need to get yourself through this period. hugs!
pomegranate / 3225 posts
I am so sorry. Nothing any of us can say will help, I know from experience. Hugs to you!
In case you are wanting to try something before you go on medicine, (something I was also considering), here is what finally helped me “snap out of” my depression after miscarriage… I did not have a LO at the time so of course all this would be much more complicated now.
1. Started going to acupuncture for anxiety, depression, fertility. I was wanting to try it before moving onto an antianxiety drug. I loved how it made me feel and I got a BFP within weeks of going, who knows if they were related but I do know that for me it was worth it even as a placebo. It was expensive but I was able to pay for it out of my Flexible Spending Account.
2. My DH told me we could go on a trip anywhere I picked a trip to Greece, knowing/hoping I might be pregnant then and went anyway.
3. Signed up for a half marathon – I needed to lose the weight from being pregnant and it gave me a goal
Thinking of you…
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
Big hugs!
nectarine / 2152 posts
I’m sorry you’re having a tough time, I hope you get pregnant soon!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
Big big hugs… I hope you find that joy in your life soon, whether it’s with medication or not.
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
Big hugs
pomegranate / 3565 posts
So sorry – I know how depression can feel. I was on meds for a while and it helped me get over the hump. My therapist said some of us just need a little help to feel “normal.” Our chemistry is just a little different. If we had high blood pressure or diabetes and needed medicine, we would take it, right?
I hope other alternatives help you feel better. But just know that you may not need medicine forever.
blogger / kiwi / 675 posts
I think sometimes ttc puts a lot of pressure on us which can take a toll. I hope you feel better sweet friend. Thanks for sharing.
apricot / 394 posts
Big hugs to you! Our lives sound very similar. I feel like I could have written this exact post. I am at a very similar place as you right now. I hope good things are on the horizon for both of us!!!
guest
So sorry that you are feeling unhappy right now. TTC is so stressful. Have you tried looking into Yoga for Fertility DVDs/classes or acupuncture? When I was TTC the first time, I found that both things not only had a potential positive effect on TTC, but also helped me feel better emotionally. If you want a rec for a Yoga for Fertility DVD, check out Kat Atkinson’s. You can search for it on Amazon. Big hugs!
honeydew / 7295 posts
I’m so sorry sweetie. I can only imagine how you feel. I hope you get your rainbow baby soon. xoxo
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
Hugs
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
Sending you hugs.
blogger / clementine / 998 posts
I hope you get to take some ballet, I don’t know what I’d do without dancing.
pomegranate / 3595 posts
Sending hugs to you! You are so honest about where you are which is the first step to figuring out what you need. I had a m/c in November and am still struggling with the loss as well. After, i did try a “look good, feel better” approach which helped a little–do my hair on the weekend etc. I hope you find what you need to keep yourself balanced during the waiting game. I will be thinking of you!
pear / 1718 posts
This is such a courageous post. I hope you are able to find some answers very soon. Sending you big hugs!
eggplant / 11408 posts
@mrs. tictactoe: hugs, lovely lady. My losses set off my depression, and I ultimately chose to go the therapy and medication route. Hormonal fluctuations are a huge trigger for me, and I needed the help to feel normal. I’ve been on it throughout my pregnancy, and my OB is completely comfortable with it. Feel free to message me if you’d like to know more.
Hang in there. You deserve to be happy!
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
I am so sorry friend. I know his journey is not easy. You are constantly in my prayers.
guest
Would you be open to paying for treatments with an RE? I personally would never do an unmonitored Clomid cycle. Some RE’s have a lifetime limit of 6 Clomid cycles because of the possible effects it can have on you. Have you thought about other meds besides Clomid?
guest
Also, one other thing – have you had any testing done? And has your husband had a semen analysis done? I don’t mean to push all these questions, but just something to think about. My husband and I have been through years of IF treatments so we’ve been through all this stuff as well.
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
@christine: I appreciate you taking the time to comment. First, we can’t afford more than what we’re doing. If I don’t get pregnant on my own or with clomid, that’s probably it for us, unless family were to help or something. Second, while I thank you for your advice, what you said makes me feel worse about my situation, not better. I know there are risks with any medication. I also know that my doctor cares about my well being and isn’t one to prescribe something (I was on the lowest dose, remember) if he thought it would be dangerous. I am planning to stop taking clomid for now, but that doesn’t mean I won’t take it again after a break, if we don’t get pregnant. Yes, my husband had semen analysis before we had my son. I didn’t want to go through with any treatments before that and his results were very good.
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
Thank you all for all the hugs and encouraging words. I’m so glad to have this community to share my ups and downs with.
guest
Love you lady! Know I am always here for you, whatever you need. I know that doesn’t help much but try to be happy that you have an amazing son and husband. Hang in there. xoxo
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
I am so so sorry…hugs, wine, and all the love and babydust from me dear friend
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
Big gigantic Hellobee hugs to you. So wonderful that you are keeping up with your doctors to get you back to a good place. I’m so sorry for your loss.
grapefruit / 4731 posts
*hugs*
blogger / cherry / 113 posts
I’m so so sorry you are going through this. I know how hard it is, and how every time breaks your heart. Just know that I am praying for you and hoping things work out for you.
grapefruit / 4703 posts
@mrs. tictactoe: hugs, and sorry that you’re having such a hard time. Struggling with TTC is so hard, and having things be outside of your control (like insurance, etc) can make it even worse. I hesitate to bring this up, because I know unsolicited advice can be annoying, but I’d encourage you to ask your doctor about Femara. It’s similar to Clomid, but without the risks of multiples or thinning your lining. Plus it was originally a breast cancer medication, so many insurance companies cover it even if they don’t cover IF stuff. It’s fairly new as a fertility medication (10 years or so), which I think is why doctors tend to lean toward Clomid first. Good luck, I hope that you get your sticky baby soon
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
@Shutterbug: I appreciate you advice, especially the way you worded it
I have heard of femera, but didn’t ask about it because I had success with clomid in conceiving my son. I will definitely ask my doctor about it if we don’t get pregnant on this medication break, though! Thank you!
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
Oh, I am so, so sorry. I just want to wrap you up in a big bubble of happy filled with laughter and hugs.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
big hugs… I’m so, so sorry
guest
I apologize for making you feel worse, I didn’t mean for it to come across like that. Being on clomid unmonitored is just risky – cysts, risk of multiples, etc. I think some Drs are just quick to hand out a script for Clomid when really it’s not some easy fix. I’m sorry and I hope you do have a happy surprise over your break.
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
@Christine: Thank you. I know the risks. It worked for me to conceive my son (unmonitored), so that’s why I felt comfortable trying it again. I hope we can conceive without it ASAP!
@Mrs. Paintbrush: I love this mental image