When I was growing up, for whatever reason, my first name was incredibly popular with Korean-American girls. That, coupled with the finite number of Korean last names, meant I knew several girls with the same first and last name as me, and sometimes even our Korean middle names were the same. To say that it annoyed me was an understatement (I wanted to be unique!) and it is absolutely the reason why I became slightly obsessed with names from a young age.
While I longed for my name to be something totally 80s fabulous like Jessica or Michelle, I also loved coming up with names for my future children. The earliest gems I remember were names for twin girls: Summer and Autumn (what can I say, I was 9!). As I got older, I was drawn to names from my favorite children’s books. I’ve always loved reading and children’s books have always had a special place in my heart. My favorite literary names were Lilly (from Lilly’s Purple Plastic Purse), Ella (from Ella Enchanted) and Charlotte (from Charlotte’s Web). I also fell in love with jazz in college and came up with a list of names from jazz artists: Ella, Billie, Miles, Charlie, and Coltrane.
Sadly, most of my then-unique names began quickly rising in popularity and by the time I was ready to have kids, many of them were in the Top 10 for popularity on the SSA list! One of my main criteria when choosing a name for my child was that it not be too popular — at least out of the Top 50 on the SSA list, and preferably closer to being out of the Top 100 names. The other big criteria was that the name be fairly unique but not too unique or unheard of so as not to cause unnecessary confusion with spelling or pronunciation.
When we received our referral for Lil’ CB, Mr. Cowboy and I went back and forth a lot (read: lots of disagreements!) about his potential name. Mr. Cowboy pressed hard for a biblical name, like Joshua or Nathan, and while I really did love those names, they were too popular for my taste and I knew at least one child that would have the same first and last name as Lil’ CB had we gone with one of those names.
We finally settled on a name we both agreed on (read: I fought hard for the name I wanted!
I eventually forgot about the PBK name incident…until it came time to pick Lil’ CG’s name. Two years ago, when we first told Lil’ CB he was going to have a sister, he immediately started calling her a particular name. A name that wasn’t really familiar to us through anyone we knew or anything read about or watched. But, Lil’ CB insisted that was her name and after looking up the meaning (Beautiful) and popularity (down in the 200s), we decided to go for it, rather tickled by the fact that Lil’ CB had chosen a rather perfect name.
And then…PBK was at it again! They started carrying a line of towels with this name and even had other items in the regular Pottery Barn catalog that had this name in it. And then J. Crew joined the party and named a sandal with this name. And to top it all off, Disney Junior came out with a cartoon calico cat sheriff named with the same name of our own Cowgirl.
I know I sound like a raving lunatic being a little (okay, a lot) possessive about my children’s names…and perhaps the growing popularity of my Cowboy and Cowgirl names means that I have good taste in names (haha), but I just hope neither of them will have to grow up being identified by both their first and last name and a qualifying characteristic for other people to understand that they are being referred to, much like I did. But even if they do, I hope they’ll grow up loving their names, just as I do and always will.
Are you possessive about your LOs names?
coconut / 8234 posts
LO has a unique name (it’s on your list) and I do feel a little possessive over it when it comes to my friends & family. But I think it would be cool if PBK or some store did something with her name. I worry about her not liking her name when she gets older
Sheriff Callie is cute!
bananas / 9118 posts
I love her name, I was wondering how you chose it- so cute that CB named her!
Other than everyone seems to have a cousin with my C’s name, I don’t run into it very often- funny because it seems like once you find something you want (kid’s name, car, etc) you see it everywhere.
Once we decided on E’s name, we suddenly started seeing SO many babies with it too (at least 4 on my IG! Pretty much all of them from here too) I was worried my husband would change his mind if he heard it was gaining popularity, but thankfully he didn’t
pineapple / 12053 posts
I too was shocked to see our DD’s first and middle names on embroidered on the kids seats in the land of nod catalog since both the names are in the top 500 only! Totally get being possessive. But I also love her name and love sharing it!
grape / 89 posts
We named our first little guy after someone very special and so while his name is very popular (Ryan), it holds special meaning to us. I guess having one kiddo with such a normal name has made me less possessive over his little brother’s name (Carver).
blogger / coconut / 8306 posts
This makes me laugh! We had the same criteria for our names as well, and both are in the top 10! It’s enough to annoy me but I love their names and would never want to change them. It’s frustrating to think we were trying to be “different” when it’s suddenly so, so popular.
I think PBK had Chloe’s name embroidered on an anywhere chair in their catalogs, and I’ve seen Charlotte popping up the last few months. Maybe I’m hyper sensitive to notice the names now?
Either way, it’s frustrating and silly all at the same time!
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
Haha this is so funny! I’m not possessive because Liam’s name is so popular right now. I actually think it’s cute when products have his name or someone we meet has the same name.
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
I love names but not sure if I am possessive. We did meet a little girl in Drakes swim class that was named Juliette and she is too cute. I was more surprised than possessive I think when I found out. I do get not wanting everyone with the same name though since I grew up with such an usual one myself.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
I’m super possessive of my name and Little M’s name – and his isn’t all that unique! I just hope there’s no one in his class with the same name when he gets to school. I wanted unique but his was the only name we could agree upon and I loved it, so I dropped my 500+ SSA requirement.
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
@Mrs. Jump Rope: @mrs. tictactoe: told ya, raving lunatic right here!
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
@Mrs. Stroller: I love your name! And M’s name, too!
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
We used fairly common names so I am not that possessive. They were named after family members so the significance is more important than how common it is. But I love Carson and Callie, I think they are perfect.
James saw his name on something in a catolog and got so excited He told me we had to buy that because it already had his name on it.
pear / 1812 posts
Yes and no. I don’t want her name to become super popular (and doubt it will) but I also love finding people with the same name. I even know a little girl who has the same first and middle and even a really really similar last name. Weird. I will be shocked if I see her name emblazoned on anything. (Also…. Callie is my #1 for our next DD if we have one. Mr. Hedgie isn’t too fond though so I think you are safe.)
guest
I have an Emma so I knew right away I couldn’t be possessive! Was not a name I ever considered but when I was pregnant dh had a dream that was her name, and it just stuck. I am kind of opposite to you, my name is very old fashioned, and not the kind of old fashioned that’s becoming trendy again! I rarely come across someone my age with this name. I really dislike it, as well as my nickname I’ve had since high school that most people know me by. So I always wanted my kids to have normal names they wouldn’t be embarrassed by! Emma is more common than I would have liked, but I like that its timeless rather than trendy, and its the kind of name I’d like for myself, so while I have the same reasons as you we end up with different results
blogger / pomegranate / 3044 posts
I realized a few months after #2 was born that the boys happened to have the same names as the brothers in Tigers Curse – the (supposedly) next big teen series sensation. Given that they are both very uncommon Indian names I was so livid! I am still not over it actually, but what can I do.
blogger / pomegranate / 3491 posts
I specifically avoided a few top 10 names that would have otherwise fit our name criteria. I wouldn’t call it possessive but I don’t want C to be one of 4 “C”s in his class like I was growing up.
pomelo / 5258 posts
I’m really possessive of LO’s name. It’s not in the top 1,000 and I haven’t met anyone with the same name (except our name-spiration) so I’ll probably be bummed when I meet another special little snowflake.
pomegranate / 3503 posts
We just met a little girl at the park who’s the same age as our daughter has the same name. I was both excited and annoyed that her name was the same. Love your choice of names!
blogger / clementine / 998 posts
Yes! I understand the possessiveness
clementine / 933 posts
My name is super common among women my age, but I have an opposite reaction that most about it. My thought is, I have survived just fine with a common name, my future child(ren) will, too, if they end up with popular names. And, since the SSA only gives historical data, I don’t consider their rankings to be a super practical gauge of popularity for a baby I’d be trying to name right now…My favorite name might be in the 500+ for the current data available, but another list will come out in a few weeks, and they will be working on another list in 9 months anyway! I totally understand wanting a name that not everyone under the age of 2 shares, but I guess I’m less convinced I’d actually be successful in finding that name!
My only “fear” is that my BIL will marry a girl with the same first name that I love for a girl. (and thus DD would have the same name as SIL) He’s still young and doesn’t have a girlfriend, and I’m not pregnant (much less with a girl), so it’s totally irrational. But that’s the only situation where I feel super possessive
honeydew / 7504 posts
@Mrs. Cowgirl: Callie is my sister’s name. She is 31 years old. So when it started becoming more popular, we were a little bit like “Wait, but….no! Callie’s OURS!” Ha ha. So I completely understand name possession…especially over that name in particular!
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
I had similar criteria for names (couldn’t be in top 100, but had to be easily recognizable), but my reasoning was the opposite of yours. My given name is so different that I always have to repeat it, spell it, write it down, just deal with being called the wrong name, so I wanted my kids to have names that people would automatically recognize, but that there hopefully wouldn’t be 20 other kids with the same name in the neighborhood. Elliot is SO popular now, and I’ve even run into a few Finns, so I’m not sure we actually achieved what we were going for. Plus, when we say Finn’s name people always think that we said Ben.
kiwi / 566 posts
This is so interesting! Loved reading your post and all the comments. Popularity wasn’t really a deciding factor for us. We really liked Emma and Sofia, and they are extremely popular right now (#1 and #2), and we wouldn’t have stopped from using them–the only think that stopped us is we found a name that we liked better (still in top 100). The good thing about naming kids today is that pretty much EVERYONE is concerned with popularity, so having a popular name isn’t the same as it used to be. In the 1950’s, a whole QUARTER of girls were named one of the top 10 baby names! Nowadays, even if you have a top-10 baby name, it’s still used much less than a top 10 name from the past–so it’s a fluke if you end up with multiples in your class, and not really something you can do much to prevent!
My only real criteria, other than loving the name, was that it was a “real” name. My parents made up my name, and though I think it’s beautiful, it NEVER got spelled right. NEVER got pronounced right. I cringe when I see unique, non-phonetically-spelled names nowadays, because I remember everything I went through with my name! Honestly, if it wasn’t such a hassle, I would legally change my name to my nickname because my first name is such a handful (and three syllables to boot).
pomegranate / 3383 posts
I love the names you’ve chosen!
I think my LO’s name is awesome and while I don’t want it to become super popular, I do think it gets overlooked. I’m not possessive about it at all…I actually get really excited if I see it printed/embroidered on something! I found a keychain with his name on it and it made me ridiculously happy!
blogger / coconut / 8306 posts
@Mrs. Cowgirl: no!! I don’t think you’re silly! I could have written this post.
This morning at bfast my SIL asked me why we keep picking too 10 names when we want to be original. I was like WELL WE DIDNT but now our names are ao popular!
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
Oh man! I would also be so annoyed if our kids’ names started showing up places, so I don’t think you sound crazy at all!
blogger / apricot / 366 posts
I’ve done the same thing when perusing Land of Nod and Pottery Barn Kids – Miss H’s name has been popping up there a lot! And while we chose her name because it was my grandmother’s, I also really liked that it wasn’t super popular when we chose it. But it seems to slowwwwly be creeping up there (and then a couple of months ago someone I went to high school with named her baby the same name…I irrationally felt like she stole Miss H’s name!).
pomegranate / 3053 posts
I am and I’m not. I guess if someone really did use either of our sons’ names I would find it weird. If they are much, much younger than it’s fine since they most likely won’t play together.
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
@ILoveLettie: that is a great point! i’ve definitely seen many top 10 names in my classroom over the years, but few times have there been repeats within the same class. there are definitely repeats in the same grade level, but not usually in the same class. the one funny pattern i noticed was the “isabella phenomenon” — one in every class for 5 years straight!
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
@littlebug: Haha!!
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
@beaker: that’s insane!!! what are the odds?!
nectarine / 2210 posts
I grew up with a pretty unique name, and I hated it. I hated that I couldn’t spell it when I was little, and that strangers always commented on it. Except when I went off to college, a tiny liberal arts school with only around 1,000 students, there were two others there with my same name. But since it was so unique they were definitely times were people thought we were the same person.
And course now I’m a fan of my name, especially as it’s gotten bigger in pop culture (Girls and Inglorious Bastards being the main ones), and of course I’ve fallen in love with unique-ish names for our future babies.
GOLD / pomelo / 5737 posts
Hmm I haven’t had this come up yet but I can see why it would be annoying! So far I have met one parent at the park and there is one other HB user I know of with my C’s name.
kiwi / 566 posts
@Mrs. Cowgirl: Isabella definitely seems like the exception! I’ve met MANY little Isabellas!
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
You are not crazy at all!! I get scared when I get certain catalogs because I don’t want to see them in there!
I didn’t have crazy criteria, but since we were some of the last to have kiddos… a lot of my favorites were ruled out. We came by S’s name because it was a “sibling suggestion” for one of our faves that not one, or two, but THREE of our friends used in the 6 months prior to getting our referral. And, well, you named M so you know that story.
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
@Mrs. Paintbrush: I do love that story…;)
guest
I had to laugh at little CB picking his sister’s name, the first thing I did when I was told that I was going to be a big sister but that it was a secret was to run out to the other kids and tell EVERYONE that I was going to have a little brother named Martin! Guess what his name is?
I have a fairly uncommon name, but when I was 10 or so it suddenly became much more common. It was a bit weird suddenly not be 100 percent sure that they meant you when you heard someone call the name.
@Beaker a friend of mine nearly named her son Harry James Potter! And he was born on July 31! They actually changed their minds about the name when her sister in law visited them in hospital when he was a couple of hours old and said, Harry Potter, like the books? They’d had no idea!