I recently posted a photo of a quilt top on Instagram… and within minutes, I had three texts from friends with the same exact question:

“How in the world do you find time to quilt?!?!”

It was followed by a smattering of emoticons that ranged the gamut from the “thumbs up” to the “shocked face” to the “crying face.”

How do I find time?! Let me tell you a little secret… I don’t. I absolutely have no time for hobbies. My house is a disaster: dishes on the counter, laundry in various stages of completion all over the house, dust bunnies that have grown into dust dogs… I can go on and on. I’m sure many of you know what I am talking about. BUT… at the same time… my kids are healthy (usually) and [mostly] happy. (With the exception of Pint-Sized’s issues… but those are a work in progress.) They are fed well. And honestly, they live a pretty charmed life.

So, again… how do I find the time?! I don’t. I make the time. It took me a long, long time to learn this lesson… but if I’m going to be able to give this guy:

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And this guy:

Everything they deserve emotionally and physically… and then some… I need to give to myself first.

I view it along the old adage of “pay yourself first,” thinking that if I invest in my mental well-being on a consistent basis I can better cope with the 5:30 am wake-ups, the tantrums, the lack of nap time , the adjustment, and the constant need need needs of my kiddos. (And they deserve that.) When things were going completely off the rails after coming home with Pint-Sized Picasso, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Since then, we’ve realized that we have a bunch of issues to get through, adjustments that come with the territory of growing your family, and some other ill-timed stressors. At the same time, I also realized that I got out of the pattern of “paying myself first,” when we traveled halfway around the world and back again. And that was when I realized how important it was for me to initiate the ritual again.

How do I pay myself? How do I quilt? (Or knit, or read?) I give myself time. Twenty minutes to be exact. Some of you may think that’s way too much… some of you may think that’s way too little. But for me, for now… it’s perfect. Once I get the boys down for the night (and yes, this in itself is a challenge)—I come downstairs—walk by all the laundry, the dishes, the messy counters… and set the timer on my phone.

The next twenty minutes are mine, all mine, to do with as I please. I might sew, I might knit. I might flip through a magazine, I might read a few pages of a book. And yes, I might even just sit there and stare into space. I do this with no guilt, no “I should be…”s, no “Instead, what if I did…”s.

And when the timer goes off… I put down whatever it is I am doing (Immediately! No “just a few more minutes…”), get up, and go back to the reality of dishes… laundry… life. Most times, I notice that it’s with a smile on my face or a little pep in my step. If it’s been a good day, I might even have a few more minutes at the end of the night, once all housekeeping “fires” have been put out… and if not, at least I had the twenty minutes to spend as I pleased. And believe me, those twenty minutes add up… I have a whole quilt top that proves it! (And for the record… I’m not a very good quilter… but I like seeing something come together in front of me.)

Do you “pay yourself first?!”