Before we brought home our older daughter from Korea, we had a long wait during the adoption process that gave us more than enough time to think through some parenting philosophies. Unfortunately, we were also clueless parents-to-be who had no idea what parenting would really be like.
One of my husband’s mantras was that we would have a “10 – toy rule.” Yes, he really thought that we would be able to limit our child to having only 10 toys at a time. When people asked what we would do with the presents that people gave us, he said that we would give away some of the toys so that we would always maintain a balance of 10 toys. We also thought that we would have only a few toys that required batteries.
It sounds nice in theory, doesn’t it? I’m sure that there may be some families who are able to maintain some version of this rule in their homes, but pretty much as soon as our daughter came home, we realized we were in way over our heads. Chalk this up to overly enthusiastic grandparents, aunts, friends, neighbors, church members, and pretty much anyone who ever came over to our house to meet our daughter. They almost unfailingly brought a new toy for her.
Now, almost 5 years after HJ came home, plus another child, plus many birthdays and holidays later, we are dealing with the aftermath. I asked some other parents what they do to encourage thankfulness in their kids and reduce the overabundance of toys in their home. Here were some of their tips.
1. Save the big presents for birthdays and holidays to teach patience and how to wait for the things they really want.
2. Earn points or rewards to save up for a bigger item. I know many parents who have told me how sticker charts do wonders. We’re still working on that in our house.
3. Try to show your children that there are other people around that live with far less than we do. One of my friends does a wonderful job collecting donations for refugee families in the area, and then taking her daughters with her to deliver them to the families.
4. Teach them generosity by encouraging them to personally give away some of the toys they’ve outgrown to other kids. My little one loves the idea of giving her baby toys to her new baby cousin.
5. Emphasize experiences and time together versus material items. Going to special places like the zoo, children’s museums, or concerts is always a special treat that doesn’t leave you with lots of extra things in your home to figure out what to do with afterwards.
If any of you have ideas or tips that have worked with your kiddos, please share! I could definitely use them!
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
I love this. We are doing a series at church about entitlement (in kids, and ourselves), and your post was very timely!
blogger / kiwi / 675 posts
We are getting ready to donate some stuff, it adds up so fast and I think the exercise of giving a few toys away that the kids pick themselves is a great way to teach.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I find the problem is that any place you go, they’re set up for merchandising! Even going to our local Children’s Museum isn’t “safe” because there’s a gift shop right at the entrance! It’s all educational stuff, but still!
guest
I found this on pinterest and love the idea.
“Each year our kids must choose ten old toys to put in their Santa bags. These must be toys in decent shape that other kids would actually want. We leave the bags under our tree on Christmas Eve. Santa takes the old toys back to the North Pole to fix them up he leaves new toys in the bag. Great way to declutter, recycle old toys, and teach the kids about giving”
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
We talk about what we are thankful each day! She loves it (age 2.5).
We also just got this book from the library and its REALLY cute!
The Thankful Book
by Todd Parr
Link: http://amzn.com/0316181013
blogger / persimmon / 1220 posts
Love these tips!
blogger / pomegranate / 3491 posts
@T.H.O.U.: thanks for the book rec!
This is so hard. We have already started donating surplus stuff from birthday season, and this winter, we will start teaching C about choosing a gift to give to a charity. That, plus we are just banging the concept of “thank you” into his brain, so it eventually translates to bigger concepts as he understands the bigger words around him.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
Great tips! I really want to do something like #3 when the kids are older. I think it’s important to show them the contrast of how we live versus how others live and open their eyes to the fact that not everybody has the same luxuries. Hopefully they’ll appreciate the meaning of giving that way too!
GOLD / grapefruit / 4555 posts
What a great post, thanks for the tips!
blogger / apricot / 367 posts
@looch: Yes I know what you mean! I’ve gotten sucked into the gift shops too many times!
blogger / apricot / 367 posts
@T.H.O.U.: Definitely going to check out this book for my girls. Thanks for the suggestion!
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
I love these ideas! We’ve also gone a little too crazy in the toy department, so we save ALL toys we find for holidays. He doesn’t need any more before then!
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
Oh great ideas!
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
Great, great tips! This is something that’s on my mind a lot…I have a post I need to write about this and CB’s upcoming birthday party!
blogger / clementine / 998 posts
Jen Hatmaker does a lot of homeless volunteer work with her kids – I’m excited to do that with mine one day. One of my coworkers lets her son pick out one gift for himself for his birthday, and then she buys another of the exact same gift for him to give away. When he was younger it was so hard for him to give away that second toy, even though it was exactly the same!
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
@looch: yes! Even the stupid grocery store has matchbox cars on the end caps. Can’t I just buy food without a tantrum???
I recently taught LO the difference between the word “greedy” and “grateful” … I think it will be coming up often!
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
We do a toy and clothing giveaway twice a year… at Christmas and at his birthday (July). It works really well for him. He likes the power of choosing…
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
Love this list. We are overwhelmed with toys. It just gets crazy so fast.