Before we brought home our older daughter from Korea, we had a long wait during the adoption process that gave us more than enough time to think through some parenting philosophies. Unfortunately, we were also clueless parents-to-be who had no idea what parenting would really be like.

One of my husband’s mantras was that we would have a “10 – toy rule.” Yes, he really thought that we would be able to limit our child to having only 10 toys at a time. When people asked what we would do with the presents that people gave us, he said that we would give away some of the toys so that we would always maintain a balance of 10 toys. We also thought that we would have only a few toys that required batteries.

It sounds nice in theory, doesn’t it? I’m sure that there may be some families who are able to maintain some version of this rule in their homes, but pretty much as soon as our daughter came home, we realized we were in way over our heads. Chalk this up to overly enthusiastic grandparents, aunts, friends, neighbors, church members, and pretty much anyone who ever came over to our house to meet our daughter. They almost unfailingly brought a new toy for her.

Now, almost 5 years after HJ came home, plus another child, plus many birthdays and holidays later, we are dealing with the aftermath. I asked some other parents what they do to encourage thankfulness in their kids and reduce the overabundance of toys in their home. Here were some of their tips.

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1. Save the big presents for birthdays and holidays to teach patience and how to wait for the things they really want.

2. Earn points or rewards to save up for a bigger item. I know many parents who have told me how sticker charts do wonders. We’re still working on that in our house.

3. Try to show your children that there are other people around that live with far less than we do. One of my friends does a wonderful job collecting donations for refugee families in the area, and then taking her daughters with her to deliver them to the families.

4. Teach them generosity by encouraging them to personally give away some of the toys they’ve outgrown to other kids. My little one loves the idea of giving her baby toys to her new baby cousin.

5. Emphasize experiences and time together versus material items. Going to special places like the zoo, children’s museums, or concerts is always a special treat that doesn’t leave you with lots of extra things in your home to figure out what to do with afterwards.

If any of you have ideas or tips that have worked with your kiddos, please share! I could definitely use them!


Lila overwhelmed with her post-birthday Frozen loot