I’ve always heard of the “work/life” balance, but really never paid any attention to what it meant. My husband and I are both incredibly driven people, understanding of each other’s career ambitions and the sacrifices needed to get to where we want to be. But bringing a child into the equation is still throwing me for a loop. In the weeks leading up to returning to my job, I had so many emotions about going back. I wanted to spend every waking second with Baby Sea Otter, watching him learn new things and seeing him grow day-by-day. I cried for an entire weekend before heading into the office, and even once I was back at work, I thought about him for most of the day. It was not the most productive time at work for me.

This hasn’t changed. I still think about him all day, show off new pictures to my co-workers, and can’t wait to get home. I look forward to evenings and weekends with him and my husband, and try to plan as many things as possible to do during our time together.

Here’s the kicker: I love my job. It’s fun, it’s challenging, and I have great co-workers. I have a constant need to take on more, to prove myself, and to progress. But without having figured out this “work/life balance,” I have no idea how to accomplish everything. And I know the answer is that I can’t accomplish everything. Every parent needs to make sacrifices, and my family comes first. But still, I have this need to keep moving forward career-wise.

ADVERTISEMENT

My mom was a stay-at-home mom, and I loved it. I grew up with many of my friends’ mothers staying at home too, and so the thought of working and having a family is still a bit of a foreign concept to me, as silly as that seems in this day and age. I’m so grateful for the sacrifices that my mom made for us, and I worry sometimes that my job will somehow make my son feel not as loved, or not as valued.

In an attempt to find more free time, I’ve temporarily stepped back from a lot of the extra activities that I’d been doing for years. I’ve been an active volunteer, both with my sorority alumnae group and with Junior League, as well as being pretty active in the community. There’s no doubt that I’ll be able to partake in these activities again, but for the moment I’m finally learning how to say “no” to things. I wish I could also say “no” to things like cooking, cleaning, and laundry, but unfortunately those are still on my list.

I definitely don’t have all the answers, or really many in this case. I know that there are people out there who also struggle with maintaining their identity as a parent and as an employee, so I wanted to share some of the thoughts I have in hopes that others will come forward to share their own experiences, fears, and advice.