When I was pregnant the first time around, I created a birth plan after a ton of reading, research, guidance from my doula and lessons from a marathon weekend of what Mr. C called the “crunchy birth class.” I was determined to have a birth with no drugs and zero intervention.  As I made my way through my first experience growing and delivering a baby, writing down what I had hoped to have happen helped me to cope with my fears of what was to come and prepare for what I expected to be a marathon of pain.

And guys, what I came up with was LONG. And detailed. And intense. And at the time, I thought it was perfect.

Looking back though, after reaching the dreaded 42 week point, I would be facing an induction where huge portions of my birth plan would be slashed the moment I walked in the door.  No IV. Nope – thank you Group B strep. No Pitocin. Slash that one, obviously, since my kid would not come out on his own. No “continuous fetal monitoring.” Induction plus Pitocin ruined that too. Honestly, although my birth plan looked like it had been through a losing war with a sharpie, in the end I was lucky, both because I managed to persevere through Pitocin with a med free birth, and because the kid at the end of the tunnel (um, literally) was and is healthy, happy and truly amazing.

Now, as I enter my third trimester, I’m thinking about my birth plan again. This time around, I expect it will look a bit different. Here’s what I’m thinking.

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Mrs. Confetti Birth Plan 2.0

1) I know that at this hospital, it’s a given that I will have to authorize an epidural, even if I have zero intention to get one. Come in, skip your spiel – I’ve heard it before, let’s sign this, and then please don’t ask me about or offer me drugs again. I may want them, I may not, but if I do, I promise I’ll ask. Don’t tempt me.

2) Let’s keep the interventions to a minimum if we can. Don’t break my water unless progress is slowing, don’t kick in with the Pitocin unless I’m stalling completely (or of course, unless my body never gets the urge to start, like last time), and more than anything, let me take my time. Getting this guy out of there isn’t a race.

3) If my dreams of a natural “crunchy” birth go awry (whether from failure to progress, this dude being breech, preterm labor, complications beyond my control), let’s try to make the c-section as “mom-friendly” as possible. While I’m not hoping for mood-music and rainbows, I would love to sneak in some quick snuggles once he arrives and have my husband be as involved as possible throughout the surgery and after.

4) Once the little man has made his entrance, I would love to get a quick cuddle and nursing session as soon as possible, before any non-essential procedures. And if that isn’t an option – if there are health concerns or major issues – please let my hubby tag along to observe, help if possible, and provide a reassuring presence for our dude.

5)  Just like last time, catch that cord blood for donation, and please don’t snip his little tip – we’re Jewish, and will be doing that next week at the bris. Oh, and if there is some magical sign you can put on the door to keep visitors out until we’re ready, I’ll take one of those.

PS. Please be nice to our doula. She’s just here to support me and my husband, to help us make rational decisions in the moment and to keep me from losing my mind from the pain that is inevitably on its way. I promise she has no intention of overstepping her (very important) role.

In all seriousness, I doubt I will even print anything up to have in writing, unless my midwife or doula really pushes me for it. Just thinking through my desires and expectations, and making sure that my midwife and her colleagues have my preferences noted in my file, should be more than enough.

Moms who have had (or will soon have) more than one, how was your birth plan different the second time around?  Did you even bother with one?