In the past month since I made the switch from a freelancer with a completely flexible schedule to working full-time, I’ve definitely experienced more moments of working mom guilt than I anticipated. At first, it began with just a few comments here and there from my three  year old. “Mommy, I didn’t get to spend ANY time with you today!” Or “Mommy, are you ever going to drive me to school or pick me up again?”

At first, I was able to handle her anxieties relatively easily with some extra cuddle time at night and reassurances that we would do something fun together on the weekend.

But then, I began questioning whether this was really the best time of the year to begin my full-time switch, considering the sudden upswing in school activities that I realized I could no longer attend: fall festivals, Halloween parties and parades, school conferences and IEP meetings during the day, Thanksgiving feasts, winter concerts, the list went on and on…

And of course, it being suddenly 30 degrees here and snowing on Halloween, the kids got sick. It started with a low fever and cough. A couple days off from school. A visit to the doctor reassuring us that it was just a cold virus. But after six days of fever and a worsening cough, we took our youngest back to the doctor and she was diagnosed with pneumonia.

That was probably the low point. Or so I thought. A couple days later, in the middle of a client meeting on the phone, I got a call from the school nurse telling me that my older daughter was also sick, and needed to be picked up from school. Then my husband sent me a text saying that he thought he was coming down with something as well. I was grateful that I hadn’t caught the bug, but finding myself working late that night on a deadline, I almost wished I had!

Of course, I fully realize how lucky I am to even have the choice to decide whether or not I wanted to go back to work. I’m also thankful to be able to work from home (though there are some downsides such as my three year old trying to break down my locked office door during a conference call, or watching her screaming and pounding on the car window as my mom whisked her away one day when she realized having her at home just wasn’t going to work!).

But the positives of working full-time haven’t escaped me either. This may sound unbelievable to some, but some days I’ve found it easier to be sitting in front of my computer all day, working peacefully on my assignments, than to be running around after the kids and doing my best to avert meltdowns and trying to stay sane all day without any other adult interaction. When I finish my work day, I realize that I actually have more energy, and more willingness to get down on the floor with the kids and engage in one-on-one time with them, than I had before.

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HJ’s therapist had a great tip for me when I confessed my “working mommy guilt” to her. She said that how I reunited with the kids, and the amount of undivided attention I gave them when I wasn’t working, could actually be more important than feeling guilty for the time that I had lost with them during the workday. Other parenting bloggers have noted the benefits of this approach as well. Catherine Newman wrote in The New York Times Motherlode blog about “giving kids your undivided attention — or no attention at all” — something that made me feel a little better about making a clean break between work and not working. The distraction I often had as a freelancer and working odd hours is one of the reasons I wanted to give the all or nothing approach a try. While it’s been a rocky transition so far, I’m hoping it’s going to get easier in the long run.

Another unexpected benefit I’ve found to working full-time? My husband has suddenly become much more involved in the kids’ activities. In the past three weeks he’s taken Lila to the pediatrician for her follow-up appointment, gone to HJ’s Halloween parade, taken Lila to her ballet class, and taken both kids to HJ’s counselor. Although I’m sure it’s not been easy for him (he mentioned one instance of having to abruptly hang up on a conference call when Lila started getting antsy during HJ’s appointment, and having to carry Lila out to the car without pants after a diarrhea explosion while waiting to get the oil changed at the car dealer!), I have to say I’m really grateful for his help when it seemed like everything that we were so precariously trying to hold together was about to collapse!

I’m no Sheryl Sandberg (I wish!) but one thing that I liked about her book Lean In was when she mentioned that fathers really have to be “equal partners” for a woman to be able to balance work and motherhood. In the few short weeks that I’ve made the attempt, I can only say how true that is!

For those veteran working moms out there, what have you found works for your family to make the juggling act between working and parenting a little more bearable? Please feel free to clue in this new working mom!