I shared awhile back about our decision to bottle feed our twins – for the first three months we were doing a combination of pumped milk and formula for the babies. As the twins were each eating about 30 ounces per day and I was only pumping 12 ounces per day, the amount of pumped milk they received was small. But it was milk and I felt good about being able to provide that for them. And with the cost of formula for twins, every ounce that I could provide of free milk was amazing!
However, as it got closer for me to go back to work I started to wonder how this whole pumping thing was going to happen. When I was a parent of just one child it was easy enough to fit pumping into my routines. But now that Mr. H and I are outnumbered by our children, having time to pump is like a weird luxury!
Three days before I was set to start back at work, I made the quick decision to quit pumping. I began panicking about where and how I was going to have time to sit and focus on pumping outside of work. And with how busy my work days are and how far I am from the lactation room, I was equally panicked about how pumping would work inside of work.
On top of the where/when/how struggles with pumping as a working mom, I also had to face the music: while it was great to provide some milk for the babies, the amount I was pumping for the amount of time it was taking me just didn’t feel worth it.
Instead of cutting out pumping sessions slowly, as you should do, I basically quit cold turkey (note: don’t follow my lead – take your time with quitting pumping!). The upside of having a small supply was that my body didn’t really care that I stopped pumping. I may have felt some mild discomfort but overall not a lot changed for me. Looking back, I was incredibly lucky to not have any negative repercussions with making such a drastic change.
On my first day back at work I was so incredibly grateful that messing around with my pump was not a part of my new routine. Remember my post about my current schedule? There is absolutely no room for pumping in what is otherwise an incredibly full day.
Do I feel some regret about not making it work in order to provide milk for my babies? Sometimes. When they both got the sniffles recently I felt sad that I wasn’t able to pass on any immunity to them through my milk. And when they poop in their cloth diapers I get wistful about days gone by when Miss H’s cloth diapers from infancy could go straight into the washing machine without being rinsed because she was exclusively drinking breast milk.
So, was quitting pumping when I did worth it in the end? Yes – 100 times yes! Let me count the ways:
- No more middle of the night pumping session gets me a little extra sleep. I get such a small amount of sleep as it is, so every precious minute counts.
- Miss H is often up at weird hours the night lately, and only wants me. It would be challenging to be there for her and to be pumping.
- My work days are jam packed – I’m often working through most or all of my lunch break – and my hours are very strict because I have to work things around my train schedule. As I don’t have a private office I would be spending a lot of my work day in the lactation room.
- I don’t feel any pressure to produce, produce, produce, and then inevitably feel bad about myself because I’m constantly falling short. I felt like that a lot with Miss H; I made it to 10 months nursing and pumping before we added in formula, but it was stressful.
- Mr. Hop’s mild reflux went away when we stopped giving him breast milk.
- Most importantly: my babies are happy, healthy, and growing!
Having three children under three years old is tough! Right now I’m very much living in total survival mode, and taking one thing off of my plate has truly been a lifesaver.
As a parent of young children, have you made changes to help boost your physical and emotional wellbeing?
honeydew / 7230 posts
Look at those happy babies! You are doing great mama! Alice and Blake have taken formula since day 4 and have thrived in the last ten months. Since about 5 months I know they’ve gotten almost all their nutrition from formula and just nurse for comfort. I know if I were pumping I would not have been able to keep it up! Formula feeding isn’t ideal for everyone, but I know it’s been the right choice for my family!
nectarine / 2242 posts
This is such a timely post for me, thank you for sharing! I head back to work in 2 weeks and just decided today to cut back on my number of pumps to save some sanity / time with my kids. This post makes me feel better about my decision!
guest
I didn’t have enough supply for either of my babies (born 2 years apart) and so I pumped as much as I could, squeezing out each and every last drop like they were droplets of gold. Still, I had to supplement with formula since their first month (lest they starve!).
I, too, had feelings of guilt, regret, even embarrassment when whipping out bottles of formula in public. However, knowing that my babies were happily fed, growing like weeds, and sleeping comfortably made a happy mama indeed.
I am grateful for formula, for being able to afford it, for living in a country where it’s available in abundant supply. Without the formula, my two babies would not be the beautiful beings they are now.
pomegranate / 3716 posts
Good for you, mama! Your sanity is super important!
I am almost done pumping as well… I was pumping 5x a day for 20 mins each, and started decreasing a minute every day, so now I’m at 4x for 6 mins each. It makes me kinda sad to see the tiny amount of milk in each bottle these days, but I know that I’ve done my best for LO. We have a freezer stash to give him SOME breast milk every day for another 2 months or so.
pear / 1622 posts
You are amazing – three kids under the age of three and doing all that you do! I only have one and trying to spend time with family, get things done around the house, work full time, sleep, and exercise a few times a week is challenging. In order to fit time in to exercise during the week, I have to get up at 4-4:30 to nurse or pump before I workout at 5:45. I always feel so much better after I exercise but it’s hard to fit it in during the week.
kiwi / 558 posts
Such happy smiling babies, too cute! Miss Hop looks just like your older daughter it is uncanny!! Do you ever get flashbacks to when Litte Miss H was small when looking at Miss Hop?
pomegranate / 3779 posts
Those babies are adorable!
guest
I also stopped pumping with my twins before going back to work. Every now and then I had pangs of guilt/wished I was nursing but ultimately, it was the right decision for everyone. They just turned a year and are doing great! Good luck transitioning back to work!
apricot / 343 posts
You go, mama! Moms of multiples have zero time to feel guilty about not breastfeeding…I pumped the first three months for my twins and like you, it became less and less of what they needed. I felt like I earned back 2 hours of my day when I quit. Yours look like happy, healthy babies! Good luck going back to work–frankly, I found it relaxing after twinfants. Sleep training helped tremendously, too.