Hellobee

I cannot believe it’s been six months since I’ve posted; to say I’ve been busy is a bit of an understatement! Even though my days feel nonstop, life has been good – really good. But let me backtrack a bit, because a lot has happened since my last blog post!

I have a three-year-old now! 

In August 2014, we enrolled J in a daycare near our home, and felt it would be a great fit. Unfortunately, within the first few weeks, J was exhibiting behavior issues, which was obviously stemming from social anxiety. He went from having a family member as a nanny to a class of thirty toddlers, and he was overwhelmed. He’s had plenty of exposure to social settings in the past, but not to this degree – Monday through Thursday – for a full eight hours. We hoped he would feel more comfortable in time and worked with him a lot at home, but in the end, decided it would be best if we switched him out of a large daycare setting, and into a more intimate one.

Towards the end of October, we found a wonderful stay-at-home-mom who was looking to watch a child in her home. She has two kids older than J, and he fits in so well with them. She plans play dates and lots of social activities, so he still maintains that aspect of a daycare, but receives more personal one-on-one attention, which is a better fit for him at this time.

In the middle of all this, I was going through my first semester of nursing school and being put through the ringer! Nursing school is notoriously challenging – mine is no exception – but in addition to that, it’s a newly re-organized program, which caused a lot of disorganization. On top of that, I was also working part-time. Working, plus school four days a week, while trying to sort out the daycare issues, was overwhelming. I was a little in over my head.

I’ve mentioned before how I’ve had a history of depression, and unfortunately, when stress like that comes along, it tends to rear its ugly head. I distinctly remember one weekend last semester after I scored poorly on an exam, and from the culmination of life events, I hit a breaking point. I won’t go into unnecessary detail, but I realized something had to give or I wasn’t going to finish nursing school. I had reached the point that I was considering dropping out of school and throwing away everything I had worked so hard for.

Somehow I finished the semester, and was relishing the three-week semester break over Christmas when I received a call for a job interview I had applied for.

I hadn’t been planning on changing jobs – I had it pretty good with my position in healthcare administration, a supportive boss who worked around my school schedule, good experience, decent pay and benefits-eligible for part-time employees. But I was crushing under the weight of parenting a toddler who needed more time and attention, a full course-load in an intensive program, and the job. The job I was up for was actually still within the same healthcare company, with fewer hours, but still similar enough to what I was already doing that I didn’t need additional training.

I received the job offer the week after finals, and spent the semester break learning the ropes. I’ve been at my new position for over three months and I cannot tell you how much cutting my hours has changed my life. In addition, my position is weekends only, leaving a lot more time for classes, clinicals, and time with my family during the week. I remember working a full-time job my first year of college back when I was 18, and thinking it was totally feasible to do the same this time around – but I’m sure most of you would agree that parenting adds a whole new element of complexity!

Although nursing school is even more intense this semester, my stress levels have reduced significantly. My child is thriving in childcare, I have more time with him, and overall we are a happier, healthier family. Sure, fewer hours means a significantly decreased paycheck, but in nine months I will graduate with my two-year RN degree, and this will be nothing more than a small moment in time. Such a small price to pay for a little sanity!

I’ve learned a lot in the areas of balancing my personal education goals, being a happy and healthy mother, putting myself in the back-seat for my child’s immediate needs, work-life balance, and maintaining a marriage in all of this.

My biggest lesson through the last six months has been that of sacrifice. I had to sacrifice a larger paycheck to become a better parent, and gain an overall healthier mental state. I had to make sacrifices at school to address my child’s behavioral issues. And there were times I had to put homework on hold to just be a family for a moment. There is something to be said of “balance” – sometimes it’s just knowing what the priority of that day is, focusing on that one thing, then moving onto the next. And it’s about being prepared to put whatever that one thing is on the back-burner – at the drop of a hat – for a child who needs me.

I’m looking forward to finding a spare moment here and there, so hopefully you’ll be hearing more from me than just once every six months!