Hellobee

I guess I am just meant to carry my babies a little long, because this one, like her older sister, took her time to make her debut. I ended up going into labor and having a baby girl on Tuesday, April 21, 9 days past my due date.

I was itchy and impatient for this birth, something I didn’t necessarily feel as much with my first. This pregnancy was uncomfortable and I was ready to be all done. It also didn’t help things that I had a couple of “false starts” where I totally thought I was going into labor only to be completely wrong. Our midwives told us this was very common with subsequent children…it’s the body’s way of doing some of the work beforehand, like muscle memory. While it was interesting to hear this, it didn’t really help make it easier when happened to me!

O N E  W E E K  B E F O R E  D U E  D A T E

On Wednesday, April 5, one week before my due date, I was at the grocery store and started having painful contractions, causing me to stop and close my eyes and breathe through them. I kept shopping and the contractions continued the whole time. The drive home was the same but when I got home and sat down, they piddled out.

3 D A Y S  A F T E R  D U E  D A T E

Then around 1am on Wednesday, April 15, 3 days after my due date, I felt a trickle then another then another. It was enough to wake me so I got up. When I did, I felt more trickling and once in the bathroom I discovered my underwear and pajama pants damp. I woke Missus Scooter and told her I thought my water had broke. Having not experienced water breaking before, I didn’t know if this was what it was like. She texted the midwives and they asked how much fluid had come out and what color it was. I estimated it was less than 1/4 cup and it was clear. They said to go back to bed and wait to see what happened. Missus Scooter and I were so amped up we just sort of laid there for a long time. Finally around 4am I fell asleep. Missus Scooter rearranged her schedule Thursday to be home with me, both of us sure I would go into labor. The trickling continued throughout the day but there was never any volume to it. The midwives were not concerned.

5 D A Y S  A F T E R  D U E  D A T E

On Friday morning, I began to get nervous. What if my water had broken but labor was not starting? The midwives seemed to think it was a high leak in my outer bag and weren’t worried, but I was. We went to see them to test the fluid to determine if it was amniotic. When we walked into their office, I burst into tears. I had no idea I was that anxious. The testing revealed it was not amniotic fluid and we spent 30 additional minutes talking about my state of mind and my fears in general about the birth. We left and I was feeling much more settled.

7 D A Y S  A F T E R  D U E  D A T E

The weekend came and went and on Sunday evening, 7 days late, we went for a walk. I started having painful contractions and got excited. We went home, had dinner (contractions continued) and then Missus Scooter did the bedtime routine with Ohana while I headed out for another walk. More painful contractions. I got home after about 45 minutes and started timing them. The contractions were 6 minutes apart but not progressing. Finally they fizzled out too.

9 D A Y S  A F T E R  D U E  D A T E

Tuesday, April 21 arrived and I went to yoga in the morning then went to the grocery store. Missus Scooter got home around 1pm and Ohana went down for a nap and we both fell asleep on the couch. We had a regularly scheduled midwives’ appointment at 4:15pm and I told Missus Scooter I was going to have them sweep my membranes. On the drive to the midwives, I started to have some painful contractions but nothing major. We joked that it would be so ironic if the home birthers went into labor while driving! We got to the midwives’ office and told them about the contractions. Midwife K smirked at me and said “hmmm.” I said “what does that mean?” she just smiled and said, “I think we may be meeting this baby soon. You look ready.” Our appointment was very brief because I was uncomfortable and I completely skipped the request for membrane sweep.

On the drive home, I was having regular, progressive, painful contractions. I knew I was in labor! We were so excited. We got home around 5pm and things felt like they were moving quickly. Missus Scooter ran around the house getting little things ready and I made a big bowl of oatmeal with blueberries and wolfed it down. I knew this would be my last opportunity to eat. After, I changed into a dark sports bra and a cotton skirt and by the time I was changed I was having trouble breathing through the contractions. Missus Scooter called the midwives and told them they should come, as well as our labor team. In between contractions, I told Missus Scooter that people should wait to come…I’d just began laboring…it was going to be awhile. Thank god she ignored me.

O U R  B I R T H  T E A M  A R R I V E S

Our friend Corri arrived at 6pm and she and I sat on the couch together chit chatting in between contractions. Missus Scooter cooked dinner for her and Ohana, in the kitchen and it was comforting to hear them talking and going about the ‘regular’ routine. This is what Missus Scooter and I talked about doing. We had Corri arrive the earliest to help with Ohana, but we wanted Missus Scooter to do as much as possible with her so it felt as normal as could be.

By 6:30pm, I was not able to chit chat anymore and my eyes stayed permanently closed. I was very preoccupied about when the midwives would arrive and apparently I kept asking about it. Corri assured me they were on the way. Our friend Sarah arrived and I began to cry when I saw her. I think seeing my birth team arrive was more validation this was really happening. Corri announced that the midwives arrived and I was so much more relaxed. Intuitively, I knew things were happening quickly.

T H E  M I D W I V E S  A R R I V E

The midwives quietly assessed me and started setting up the tub right away.

I was much more aware of my surroundings and the happenings around me than I was with my first birth. However, while I was aware, I was also able to focus and not be distracted. It was a very interesting state of being.

My friends Jessica and Anne Marie arrived right before I transferred to the tub, around 7:15pm. Everyone had arrived. At some point, Corri gave Ohana a bath and got her dressed in her pajamas. When I got into the tub, I felt so much relief, the warm water surrounding my legs and belly, the weightlessness giving me some reprieve. My hip flexors were very tense and the water felt wonderful (briefly). I was seated with my legs straight out and this felt the most comfortable. Ohana joined the gang in the room where the tub was set up and held my hand while I was in the tub. I was so very happy she was there and felt safe and normal. She was chit chatting a bit but not too much.

Our birth team

Around 8:15pm, I experienced some involuntary pushing and I knew it was time. I said “no, no, no, I’m not ready.” I said I couldn’t push in this position and Midwife M said I could if I wanted to. But I did not want to. I changed positions to sort of squat with my feet braced against the side of the tub. This was the exact same position I was in when I delivered Ohana. Getting into that position was terrible, but once I was there I was ready to get to work. Midwife M slowed me down through at least one contraction, asking me to pant through it. 9 minutes of pushing later, our baby was born.

Missus Scooter assisted in catching her and helped me lift her to my chest. These first moments were surreal, and I remember saying “thank god it’s out! I’m never doing that again!” (at this point we didn’t know the gender). I held her on my chest for a long while and everyone around me was quietly holding space. It was really peaceful. Ohana showed some sensitivity at this time, as the baby was crying and this scared her. I told her it was okay that the baby was crying and she was not hurt or scared; she just needed to make some noise. Ohana was cuddled up on Missus Scooter’s lap and I knew she was okay, just taking in the enormity of the moment.

Midwife M announced that there was a knot in the umbilical cord and said very casually, “some babies are just meant to be here.” I barely even caught the comment. Midwife M also told us that the cord was wrapped around the baby’s neck but it was not tight and after her head emerged, she was able to slip it off before the rest of her body came out.

Finally, after about 20 minutes, Missus Scooter asked if I could check the gender! Oh…yah! I reached under and felt around and said “I feel boy parts!” Everyone, from day 1, was convinced I was having a boy. So to confirm this did not surprise anyone. But then I felt around a little more and I wasn’t so sure. I finally laid the baby down on my bent knees and looked and saw it was NOT a boy!! We had another little girl – Baby R.

After the placenta was delivered and the cord was cut, I handed our girl to Missus Scooter and got out of the tub. I took a quick shower and then climbed into our bed with Missus Scooter and the baby. My friends and Ohana were in the kitchen cooking and baking a birthday cake. I could hear them talking and laughing and it made me so happy.

Around 10pm, Missus Scooter took Ohana to brush her teeth and read a story and put her to bed. It was only two hours after her bedtime (not too bad) but understandably she was exhausted. She went right down.

Jessica brought me a sandwich and fruit and the midwives performed the newborn physical exam. They started to get packed up to leave, as did everyone. I think the house was closed up and quiet by 11:30pm.

.  .  .  .  .

It was not until about a week after the birth that I was texting with Sarah, who was formerly a labor and delivery nurse. She was marveling about the knot in Baby R’s cord (called a true knot) and making enough comments about it that it got me curious. I googled true knots and found some very interesting information…certainly information I had NO idea about.

The literature indicates that a true knot of the umbilical cord occurs in between 0.3 to 2.2% of all births, commonly quoted at 1.25%. Most true knots are discovered after the birth, but with new ultrasound techniques some are discovered during the pregnancy. We never had any ultrasounds, so I don’t know if our true knot would have been found. The following circumstances increase the likelihood of a true knot forming: male babies, twins, too much amniotic fluid, small babies, and long umbilical cords. My umbilical cord was extremely long and this is likely the reason for our true knot. True knots of the umbilical cord are formed when the baby moves through a loop of cord while being active in the uterus. Most form very early in the pregnancy.

Our True Knot

Mainly true knots present problems with the baby’s heart rate and can be a cause of a baby dying before birth. Knots rarely tighten before labor begins but can do so as the baby starts to descend into the birth canal. Babies with true knots have 4x the risk of dying before birth.

Obviously I was googling all of this after Baby R was born healthy and well, but I couldn’t help the feeling of anxiety that washed over me. I started to go down a very fearful path but had to pull myself out. My baby was in my arms and was ok. I just had to keep repeating that. Of course I am sure there is a lot more information out there on true knots, but I stopped researching after I got the gist.

As I previously blogged about, we believe Baby R’s conception was truly a miracle; meant to be. It’s even more clear now that SHE was meant to be here. We feel lucky in every way to have added Baby R to our family. She is our Blessing.