Hellobee

When Baby Carrot was an infant, one comment that we got consistently from friends and strangers alike was “wow, she’s so alert!” From the moment she was born, Baby C defied the sleepy newborn stereotype. Her eyes were always open, always looking around – she always appeared to be thinking or studying something.

A few days old and contemplating

When Baby C was 2 months old, we took her to a small gathering at a close friend’s house. She had slept very well that day and since she was still small and slept frequently, even if in short spurts, we figured it would be a great opportunity to be out for a bit. About 15 minutes after we arrived, Baby C went into a massive crying fit that took Mr. Carrot and I nearly an hour to calm down. A fellow parent commented that Baby C must have gotten overstimulated with all the new people around. This was the first time I’d ever heard the term, so I went to research overstimulation and learned that my kid is likely an easily stimulated kid, based on the signs typical of overstimulated babies:

• Crankiness, fussiness
• Rubbing eyes
• Spreading fingers and toes, making fists
• Raising/laying hands in front of face
• Turning away, attempting to “space out”
• Drowsiness/sleepiness
• Stiffening up
• Hypervigilance

Although Baby C wasn’t a very fussy nor a sleepy/drowsy kid, all the other signs appeared regularly. As I read more on overstimulation, I began to notice patterns. If there was a mobile over her crib or anything else present in her eye line, Baby C would not settle down to sleep. Instead of a calming influence, mobiles and our attempts at loveys became items for her to study and distract. She rarely turned away from objects, but she would regularly rub her eyes and put her hands over her face. As she got older and more mobile, we had to hide the toys in her room when settling her down at bedtime because otherwise she would look for them and anything else possible to look at. If rocking her to sleep, Mr. Carrot and I would have to close our own eyes because otherwise Baby C would keep looking to make eye contact. Instead of tuning out or getting upset, like most overstimulation descriptions seem to show, Baby C would rather become hyperactive and hyperattentive.

Over the past two years, we’ve gotten a good handle on making sure that we manage Baby C’s tendency to get overstimulated. We’d even stopped thinking about it – everything became so second nature – until our first family vacation last month. The trip exposed Baby C to a lot of firsts – her first plane ride, her first hotel stay (and sharing a room with both her parents), her first time at the ocean and her first time with continuous exposure to a high number of people (when we had to go eat meals with hundreds of strangers in the resort’s facilities). Our tiny toddler went into overdrive, trying to keep up with all the new experiences around her. She moved nonstop, from the moment she was up (early, as always) to the moment she finally crashed in the evening (first time we’d seen her take less than 15 minutes to fall asleep!). She refused to sit down for meals, opting to run around the dining facilities instead. For nearly all the 5 days, the kid subsisted on crackers and pouches we would hand her while she would be in motion – the pure adrenaline seemed enough to keep her going. She was always happy and nonstop chatty when out in public, so it would be hard to tell whether all the stimulus was hitting her, but as soon as we got a quite moment in our hotel room, she would all but collapse from exhaustion.

The trip got me thinking about overstimulation again, now in a toddler context. Most of the strategies we’d begun practicing early on were still relevant, with mild modifications to account for toddlers’ higher levels of recognition, ability to understand commands and a different sleep needs schedule.

My first tip is to really pay attention to your child to figure out their overstimulation signs and reactions. Unlike most kids, Baby C never “tuned out” or got visibly tired – her reaction was the complete opposite. For us, the following worked well:

* Remove the stimulus. In the early days, we made Baby C’s nursery pretty barren, especially her crib, where mobiles and toys could easily keep her active and going. Even to this day, we keep Baby C’s crib essentially empty, except her loveys, because she would play for hours instead of going to sleep, despite her tiredness. If we’re out and see her getting worked up, we try to find a quiet spot and give her a little time to decompress.

* Keeping up with routine. It’s a very limiting approach and not for everyone, but as soon as we realized we had a baby prone to overstimulation, we started to follow a routine pretty closely, and continue to do so now, even as she’s approaching 2 years old. It’s actually calming for all of us, especially in context with lots of activity, like our vacation, to know that naptime and bedtime is coming.

* Quiet places. For kids that tune out when they’re overstimulated, napping is usually pretty easy anywhere. For Baby C, unless we found a quiet spot free of distractions, sleep would not happen. We try to plan our outings around her usual nap time (with slight deviations and accommodations as needed – it’s definitely not perfect every time), and when on vacation, we worked around other factors (how early/late we could have lunch, what my family was doing activity-wise, etc.) to make sure that we could come back to our room and let Baby C nap. I admit, I was envious of parents who could continue lounging on the beach as their kiddos slept comfortably in the shade, but our kid sleeps better when it’s quiet and we made the most of our room patio and midday shade as she napped inside.

* Familiar objects. Baby C has 2 lovey blankets that travel with us and are only used for sleep. When we see her getting overly stimulated, we try to find a quiet spot and give her the blankets. She doesn’t fall asleep, but since it’s a sleep association that she has formed over time, something clicks for her that it’s time to take a deep breath and slow down.

* Distractions. I try to limit screen time for Baby C, but when I see her getting worked up, I have no trouble breaking out the iPad. On the trip, we tried headphones for the first time to avoid spamming the plane with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and she thought it was a fun toy, so we would periodically have her sit on a lounge chair while at the pool or the beach, or in our room as Mr. Carrot and I showered and changed for dinner after the day, decompressing with some favorite TV.

Catching some quiet time

* Make yourself a calming influence. When we see Baby C getting overstimulated, Mr. Carrot and I go into action mode. Our voices drop to a very even keel, fairly quiet tone. We try to take deep breaths ourselves, even as our toddler might be doing laps and yelping around us, and encourage sitting down, “smelling” (Baby C’s current definition for deep breath, as she mimics inhaling and exhaling dramatically), and physical touch to define “gentle.” She usually begins to wind down herself when she sees us doing the same.

* Define “relax.” Baby C is still fairly young to understand vague concepts like “relax” but on our trip, we started trying to create a definition for her. We would tell her it’s relax time when we would hand her the blankets, we would model sitting quietly with TV or with a book, and we associate the word with her bedtime routine as well.

What tips and tricks have you found to be effective for overstimulation in little ones?