Hellobee

Two days after my BFP I went in for my first beta. I knew that my doctor liked to see the first number over 50, and I was incredibly anxious to know what mine was. I went to the clinic as early as possible hoping that would help me get my results faster. The day ticked by with no phone call from my nurse, so I called her around 3:30. She didn’t have my results yet so she put me on hold and called the lab where she found out that they didn’t process my beta as stat! I wasn’t going to get my results until the next day. To say that I was upset would be an understatement. I definitely shed some tears and wallowed in self pity for a little while. I let Mr. P know and he was disappointed as well. We both were pretty anxious about the beta result after my previous loss.

The next afternoon my nurse called and let me know my first beta was 269. I was so relieved. Mr. P and I felt like we could celebrate just a little. I went for my second beta the next day. This time the lab did process the results as stat so I was able to find out the same afternoon that my second beta was 568! It doubled like it was supposed to. I finally felt like I was really pregnant and could breathe a little easier. I scheduled an ultrasound for 6 weeks and 6 days and settled in for another two week wait.

Early in the first trimester my main pregnancy symptom was exhaustion. Every day after work I would nap for an hour or two. I was also sleeping 9 or more hours each night and still feeling tired in the morning. At the end of week 5 morning sickness started. I had a hard time brushing my teeth without throwing up. Then the food aversions started. I couldn’t open the fridge without feeling sick, so I stopped cooking. I couldn’t stomach the idea of meat. My diet consisted mainly of oyster crackers, Pasta Roni, berries, and water. I was all about survival. In the first few weeks I lost about 5 pounds and didn’t gain it back until the end of the first trimester.

While Mr. P and I were waiting for my first ultrasound we did a lot of speculating about whether or not both embryos stuck. My beta numbers were in the normal range for a singleton or a twin pregnancy. Mr. P thought it was twins and I felt like it was just one. Both of our moms thought it was twins too. The night before my first ultrasound I could hardly sleep. I really wanted to know if it was one or two and if everything was going ok.

One thing that sticks out in my mind about the day of our ultrasound is that is was pouring rain and freezing outside. It didn’t seem like a good sign! Mr. P met me at the RE’s office and together we went inside. Luckily the wait to see the doctor was short and before long I was in an exam room. When the ultrasound image popped up on the screen, I immediately saw two sacs. The doctor confirmed what I was seeing; there were two babies!

two tiny babies

She took their measurements and we got to listen to their heartbeats, which were beating at nearly an identical rate. That moment was so surreal. It was hard to believe that after all the time and heartache that I was the one who was pregnant and there were two babies growing inside of me.

We scheduled a follow-up exam for exactly three weeks later and practically floated out of the doctor’s office. We went to have a late lunch to celebrate and I was able to eat a small plate of pasta and a couple bites of cheesecake. Then we sent our moms a picture of two onesies to share the news with them. It was an amazing day.

The next three weeks passed by in a haze of nausea, exhaustion, and just feeling bad. Mr. P was amazing. He took great care of me and picked up a lot of my slack. He never complained about eating cereal for dinner multiple times a week or having to cook after working over 12 hours. He started helping me with my evening progesterone injections because twisting around to see the needle made me want to puke. It would have been hard to make it through without him.

The day of my second ultrasound was another cold and rainy day. Once again Mr. P met me at the RE’s office and the wait was short. I was a little nervous even though I had no indications that anything was wrong. When the ultrasound image popped up on the screen, my heart sank. I could very clearly see one larger baby and one tiny one.

10 weeks

My RE confirmed that there was one healthy baby and that the other didn’t have a heartbeat. Mr. P and I were both pretty shocked. I knew there was a possibility that I could lose one of them, but I really didn’t expect it to happen. I felt so many conflicting emotions, but bottled them up for the time being and focused on the baby we still had, who was incredibly active during the scan and measuring right on track. My RE let my know that the second baby would be absorbed by my body and wouldn’t affect the first.

After that ultrasound appointment it was officially time to graduate from my RE’s care and start seeing an OB. During week 10 I began weaning off my estrogen and progesterone medications and by the middle of week 11 I was completely finished. When I gave myself my last shot, I threw myself a mini celebration. I also began to feel so much better too. I think the medications I was on made my morning sickness worse.

I saw my OB for the first time the last day of the first trimester. My appointment went very smoothly and I even had an ultrasound, which I didn’t expect. The baby looked great. My OB pointed out to Mr. P and I that the second sac had collapsed, which meant the second baby had been absorbed like expected.

hello second trimester

The first trimester felt like it lasted forever and was so full of ups and downs. I was so happy to leave it behind me and start the second.