The month of May in the Milk household was super fun (read: complete sarcasm). Will’s nine month well visit early in the month went great, and the doctor confirmed that he was teething – well, confirmed that he could feel and see upper tooth buds. We had a leisurely few days where Will seemed unaffected by these teeth, and then we took a little beach vacation as a family for Mother’s Day weekend. And he woke nine times in one night while there, after having slept soundly (for him) the night before.

What followed were two weeks of back and forth night sleep, a squirmy, not-easily-entertained kid who needed constant movement, and finally those little guys pushed through. Sweet relief! And then Will came down with some virus that gave him his first official fever (104, for a solid two days), and our pretty happy kid was suddenly NOT. Mr. M and I kept telling ourselves “he’s sick! he’s probably still teething! he’s going through a developmental leap! and he’s definitely still teething!” in an effort to calm ourselves with the 90 minute parties we’d have two (or three…or four…) times per night with our not-interested-in-sleep child.

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Teething babies chew on everything…

In reality, he probably wasn’t teething. (That article linked there changed my whole outlook on this parenting thing.) I, of course, still want to blame it on teething – I mean, I see and feel four tooth buds currently, so life now must be dictated by teething in some way! (Ha!) But, dang, if he isn’t just constantly chewing on his hands and everything else in sight these days – including Mr. M’s and my shoulders, clothes, noses…

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We can all agree that babies go through such rapid changes and growth their first year that it constantly feels like valleys and peaks of sleep, laughter and confidence, yes? And that’s just for parents, of course. Babies are in constant evolution, and I find myself falling victim to the timeless art of “if I can label it in some way, it helps me cope with the downsides of ‘it’.” Meaning, if I can at all find some plausible reason why my son is waking more than usual at night, or beginning to whine when he previously was quite content for ten minutes in the morning in his play yard, or snuggling up close to me when the day before he’d have nothing to do with being held, I feel more confident in myself as a Mama and my ability to give my child what he needs.

This is all pure crap, though. I never really know what’s causing any of my son’s change in habits or moods. He can’t speak; he can’t tell me. Even if he could speak, he might lack of the nuance of language to voice where his frustrations or desire for closeness or need to go-go-go comes from. I reckon I’ll still be guessing, for my own sake, when he’s eighteen.

Of course, there are some real reasons for why Will’s reality and my parenting truth changes day to day and week to week. Below are a list of all real things Will has gone through that I can recall – which, of course, I recognized usually after the fact, or mislabeled in some way at first. Let them serve as a collection for any other parents out there who want to play my favorite game of “Just Blame it On ________.”

Growth Spurts

  • What it is: Eating more and general fussiness; potentially sleeping more (or less, ha!).
  • When it usually happens: one week old, three weeks old, four-six weeks old, three months old, four months old, six months old, nine months old
  • Good resource: Kellymom

Developmental Leaps

  • What it is: Baby learning a new skill that causes so much focus and practice that it affects sleep, eating, and moods. This can include when baby learns that they have hands and feet and can hold items and that they can roll over, crawl, stand, scream, etc.
  • When it usually happens: Every kid is different, but generally big leaps occur around the month marks – one, two and three months, big ones at four, six and nine months (often associated with a sleep regression/change), eleven and twelve months, fourteen months and eighteen months.
  • Good resource: Many people’s baby bible – the Wonder Weeks app/book.

Teething

  • What it is: A tooth or teeth moving up and around and eventually through baby’s gums. Signs usually appear in the 2-3 days right before the tooth breaks through, and can be swelling of the gums (the most reliable sign), drool, biting and chewing on hands, change in eating/drinking habits  Other people cite changes in sleep (our kid seems over-affected by teething with his night sleep), temperature and looser stools. Fussiness also happens.
  • When it usually happens: Between 3 and 12 months, the first teeth – the bottom two – pop through. Then the upper two, and then back and forth until all primary teeth are through by three years old.
  • Good resource: I love this eruption sequence and you can find lots of way to soothe teething here, and your pediatrician. For example, ours recommends a little bit of Orajel right on the bud/swelling if eating or sleeping is affected. Some might not.  You can also try cool teethers, beads and waiting it out. Ha!

Infant reflux/GERD

  • What it is: Spitting up or vomiting, crying/fussiness after or during eating, choking or coughing. All babies have a small valve that hasn’t completely formed when they are born, so experiencing some spitting up is normal and expected. Pain or excessive spitting up and vomiting (and other more serious symptoms) caused by the actual acid reflux might necessitate medicine. Will took Zantac from one month old up until about three weeks ago, in fact. There is some indication that if either parent has GERD, it might be more likely in baby.
  • When it happens: Signs usually begin in early weeks. With Will, he started showing pain and excessive spitting up right at three weeks old.
  • Good resource: Kellymom for breastfed babies and here.

Illness

  • What it is: Fever, chills, vomit, diarrhea, cough, aches – any and all of the things you’d expect.
  • When it happens: At the worst moment? I’m including this one here because sometimes it actually is illness – last week when I thought Will was just exceptionally clingy due to teething, it turned out it was actually that first real virus and fever. We took him to the doctor because his temperature was at the ‘somewhat scary’ level for a solid 12 hours  (103.8), just to rule out bacterial infections (which are treatable).
  • Good resource: Your pediatrician/nurse.

What’s your go-to “Just Blame it On _____” when your kiddo isn’t acting like his- or herself?