Most kids give up their last nap between 3-4 years old, and at 3 1/2, Olive has been in the process of dropping her nap for the past 4 months. I blogged about the transition from 2 naps to 1 here, but I think the final nap is the hardest to drop because it’s often a months-long process.
A couple months ago, Olive started fighting bedtime like crazy and it would take up to 2+ hours to get her down at night. We experienced some bad bedtime battles around the 2 year mark with both kids, but sometimes fighting sleep is related to cognitive leaps and not necessarily readiness to drop naps. They definitely still needed their naps at 2, but now Olive is 3 and half of her friends nap and half don’t. Olive was only getting less than an hour long nap at preschool, so we couldn’t cut her nap any shorter, and she was napping about 2-3 times a week there. Since she was getting enough sleep at night (12+ hours), we asked her school not to let her to nap anymore. Luckily this was an option because kids can play in the classroom if they don’t nap while others nap in a separate room.
No naps meant much earlier and easier bedtimes. But some days Olive would be so exhausted in the evening that she would start melting down. And after a couple of days of not napping, Olive would be so tired she would literally fall asleep at the dinner table and it would be impossible to wake her up. Sometimes she would sleep until the next day, but sometimes she would wake up after a couple of hours and then be up close to midnight!
She needed a nap every 2-3 days in the beginning, but after a couple of months of that she no longer naps during the week. She’s much better about not passing out in the early evening and is usually in a good mood too. But on the weekends when we’re out and about, it’s almost impossible to prevent her from passing out, especially because she’s extra tired from all the sun and activities. She pretty much can fall asleep anywhere whether we’re home or we’re out. This is where we are now — late bedtimes every weekend because she always naps. We have a busy summer ahead of us, so I don’t think she’ll completely drop her nap until the end of the year after she starts pre-k and she eases into her new routine.
This is what I wrote about Charlie’s naps in a Swarm about dropping naps when he was 3 1/2:
Shortly after Charlie turned 3, he started fighting his one nap. We knew he still needed it because he would often meltdown near bedtime if he skipped his nap. He also continued to nap well at daycare, but fought naps at home on the weekends. We instituted quiet time for one hour in his room, and Charlie napped about 40% of the time. That was a phase that lasted about 2 months, and he’s back to napping every day. His bedtime was around 8:30, but it kept inching later and later (it’s 10pm now!) because he just wasn’t tired enough at bedtime with the 2+ hour naps he was taking at daycare. I think he still needs a nap, but we need to limit it to 1 hour or he’s not tired enough at bedtime.
Shortly after I wrote that, Charlie dropped his weekday naps when he started pre-k at 3 3/4 of age. On weekends he had an hour of quiet time in his room, and in the beginning he would always fall asleep. Kids are typically exhausted after starting public school because so much is going on. A couple months into the school year his body adjusted and he started napping less and less during weekend quiet time. Over 3-4 months he completely dropped his weekend nap. Now he’s 5 1/2 and the only times he naps is if we’re traveling and he’s had a full day, or if he’s sick.
passed out at the dinner table
Do you think your LO may be ready to drop a nap? Here are some signs to look for:
1) They’re between 3-4 years old, although some drop it a little sooner and some continue napping until they’re 5+.
2) Daytime sleep interferes with night time sleep. Even if they take a short nap, it pushes bedtime very late (past 9pm).
3) They consistently fight naps/bedtime and don’t seem tired at naptime/bedtime. If you can tell that your child clearly still needs a nap but fights it, you can resort to stroller/driving naps during the transition.
4) It takes them a very long time to fall asleep.
5) They’re generally happy/energetic in the afternoon. This one may be a work in progress during the transition, and sometimes when Olive seemed tired/cranky, we’d go on a walk to keep her busy.
6) They sleep well at night, getting at least 11 hours. The total amount of sleep they get in a 24 hour period is important, and they may get more with one long stretch at night. Dropping the nap doesn’t necessarily mean less sleep but a reorganization of the sleep.
7) You want/need them to drop their nap. Every family is different and maybe a nap + later bedtime works better for some while no nap + early bedtime works better for others. Another reason to drop the nap may be that your child attends an afternoon preschool program where there are no naps. I think kids are pretty resilient and I’ve seen lots of them make the transition to adapt to school schedules.
fell asleep on the couch at 5:30pm
T I P S
– The process of dropping the final nap may take many months to happen and can be a very gradual process. You can try allowing them to nap every couple of days then stretching out the days, and limiting naps to 45 minutes so that it doesn’t affect bedtime.
– On non-napping days, your LO will need an earlier bedtime.
– If your child doesn’t want to nap, institute “quiet time” in their rooms where they don’t have to sleep, but they have to rest or play quietly, or you can even play audiobooks.
– Some kids go on nap strike but go back to napping again. Watch your child’s cues and rhythms.
. . . . .
I really mourned Charlie dropping his nap because he and Olive were on the same nap schedule and that break in the day was glorious. It was tough at first but not having a nap gave him more opportunities for independent play, and now that he’s older I don’t need that break like I did when he was younger because the kids are much more independent and easier. I can’t wait until Olive drops her naps for good because it means early bedtimes for all (yay!), and more flexibility with going out. You mourn the loss of the last nap with your first child, but look forward to it with your second!
When did your LO drop their last nap? How did you know they were ready?
– More about dropping the last nap on this boards thread.
GOLD / apricot / 341 posts
We’ve got one (Louis, will be 3 in August) going from 1 to 0 naps, and one (Léonie, 13 months) going from 2 to 1 nap. At the same time. I’ve found with both these transitions that they can take time as especially dropping that last nap is a long process. Right now they are both sort of on their old schedule one day and on the new schedule one day, and we’ll just keep following their lead as best we can until they’re through it. It does make planning a little trickier for a while though!
kiwi / 696 posts
I was just thinking about this today, as its started taking my three year old 30ish minutes to fall asleep for nap.
blogger / apricot / 367 posts
Going through this right now with my 3 year old so thanks for this post! We’ve had a few really late naps and REALLY late bedtimes as a result lately, and I can’t wait until she makes it through without a nap so we can get her to bed earlier like her older sister!
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
Oy vey, I’m mildly terrified of what this will look like for my kid. She just turned 2 so hopefully it’s a ways off for us, but she’s already a low sleep need kid (9 hours overnight at best), and her bedtime is already late (8:30-9 on an average day), even though we limit her nap to no more than 2 hours and awake by 2:15 at the latest. And she already takes nearly an hour to settle down to sleep (we put her down at 7:45-8 and she falls asleep 8:30-9). She never shows any tiredness signs, though she falls asleep easily for naps, so unless her patterns shift significantly in the coming year, this is gonna be a fun one for us.
grapefruit / 4997 posts
I just love sleepy pictures of kids! She is such a sleeping beauty!!
cherry / 175 posts
Gosh my almost 5 year old (in 2 months) still naps every day. Well I’d say 25 days a month. He will fight the nap on weekends sometimes when he is not in daycare… and he does fine when he doesn’t take one… he also does fine when he does. Bedtime does tend to be about 9pm for both my kids. I’m just hoping once school starts that bedtime will naturally move earlier! I would work to transition him away from naps as school gets closer but we just happen to be moving across the country the week before school begins… so there will be no schedule!
My 3 year old – who has ALWAYS needed less sleep than him I’m sure would gladly drop her nap now. She fights naps and bedtime with great passion. But she is so much happier with naps. I’m sure bedtime would be smoother if I got her down sooner it’s just hard with our schedules.
Those who have dropped naps with 3 and 4 year olds who are in daycare. What do they do at naptime? Read quietly?
cherry / 175 posts
@kimberlybee if you like sleeping babies you should follow me on instagram. I post at least 4 sleeping kids pics a week. (I’m kidding! About following me – not how many sleeping photos I take.) I should make a book I have so many of them!
squash / 13208 posts
We dropped naps at home around age 3.5-4 but they continued to nap at DCP.
@babycrz: at our DCP the rule is they must lay quietly on their nap for 30 mins , after that they can get up and read or color
kiwi / 511 posts
My oldest will be 5 at the end of the month and 99% of the time he will nap for about an hour at daycare. He NEEDS a lot of sleep, but he doesn’t want a lot of sleep. His attitude is so much better when he sleeps enough. He rarely takes a nap on the weekend, and having him do just quiet time is a struggle so when bedtime rolls around he is a bear to deal with.
We let him wake naturally on the weekend but he still gets up around the same time as we do during the week. It is frustrating as a parent because all I can do is provide structure/routine I can’t actually make him sleep. I am thankful that our kindergarten which he starts in the fall is full day and has a rest time.
Our younger guy just turned 3 and he still naps at daycare and at home on the weekends. He used to be a consistent 2-2.5 hour napper but it is more like 1.5 or so now and that is fine. He is an early riser though and there is no stopping him. We manage to get him to sleep until 5:30 AM unless he is sick then he generally gets up earlier due to coughing himself away. I don’t see us dropping his nap anytime soon but I do see it lessening as the time goes on.
One difficulty that we have is that the two boys need different amounts of sleep. The older needs more the younger needs less, but they are in the same room. We have considered separating them but they love being together, but I am thinking I will use our vacation in July to do a ‘reset’ so to speak with the older one. Since our schedule will be slightly different and he will be at his grandparents house, I think I need to get a timer that I can give to him and say when it goes off he can be done with quiet time and set it for only 30 minutes to see if I can get him to do quiet time.
I know that last year when we went to my parents place it was a great way to introduce a change because (1) we had lots of back up for support with my parents, my sisters, and the kids older cousins that were great and modeled behavior for my kids. (2) being at their grandparents was fun and not home so they were more open to breaking the old routine.
blogger / apricot / 335 posts
Gosh it’s so different for every kid huh? I was wondering about this because Baby P sleeps A LOT. Like way more than any of the other kids his age. He sleeps maybe 13 hours in the night and 2 two hour naps a day. He’s super happy when he wakes up and I’ve never missed a nap because I’m super strict on keeping his schedule. I can’t imagine him skipping a nap at this stage and he’s 14 months! I guess I’ll look for some cues??
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
Did you write posts about your sleep struggles around two-years old? If so, I’m going to go try to find them because two-year old bedtime is still kicking my backside.
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@Mrs. Blue: yep here are two:
http://www.hellobee.com/2013/07/24/30-tips-to-help-your-toddler-preschooler-sleep/
http://www.hellobee.com/2012/07/17/how-to-avoid-sleeping-next-to-your-child-until-they-fall-asleep/
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
Noelle is 4.5 and can still nap – I think she has high sleep needs (moreso than Jaren)! We don’t have her nap on the weekends anymore, but since they still have naptime at daycare she still takes a nap during the weekdays. J definitely needs his nap, but if we’re out and about and he takes even a 20-30 minute catnap it can get him to bedtime without him melting down, so we’ve taken a really go-with-the-flow approach with him.
Excited for when they do both finally drop that last nap though – I feel like it’ll open so many opportunities!
grapefruit / 4997 posts
@babycrz: LOL! I had a high sleep needs newborn so all of DD’s pictures were sleeping pictures. My SIL got so tired of them, she finally said one day…”please stop sending me sleeping pictures, send me an awake picture”. Hahaha