I won’t lie – as soon as Jackson started to get close to the 18-month mark, I started to feel some pressure to potty train.
I know it’s silly – he’s so young! But Pinterest is exploding with bloggers who swear they’ve potty trained their tiny little toddlers in a weekend, and everyone I know with young toddlers started buying training potties and are having their kid sit on them daily. Oh, and my mom swears to me that my aunt had her son potty trained by the time he was 15 months old!
Frankly, it was overwhelming. And entirely too much pressure.
Part of me wanted to consider diving in. Jackson already shows several of the readiness signs for potty training – he hates having a dirty diaper and requests a new “per” (his word, not mine) regularly. He is fascinated with the toilet and asks me to take him to see the potty all the time, and is very interested in the entire bathroom process.
But, I’m not ready.
I think he’s still got a little ways to go before he is ready to actually potty train, but I think that even if he was totally ready right now, I wouldn’t be. I know what it takes to potty train a young child – as a special education teacher I have potty trained many children in my day, and I just am not ready to take that on or put any pressure on myself (or him) to get it done.
So, long ago I decided that I wasn’t going to rush or put any sort of emphasis on getting Jackson potty trained “early.” We did buy him a training potty, only because he kept begging us to take him into the bathroom so we figured it’d be nice if he had somewhere to sit. He’ll ask to sit on it every once in a while, but has only gone in it once or twice – which is fine. Our plan as of now is to wait it out. I have no desire to get him potty trained before 2 or even before 2.5 – as long as he’s out of diapers before he starts kindergarten, I’m good to go!
(Maybe a slight exaggeration, but you get my point.)
How will I know when we’re ready to actually start potty training a little more seriously?
- When he’s consistently asking to go sit on the toilet at times other than right before bath/bed
- When he’s actually going on the potty somewhat consistently and seems to “get” what it’s for (rather than thinking it’s just a fun place to get naked and hang out)
- When he’s capable of pulling his pants down on his own
- When I feel like he’s old enough to understand what’s happening, and…
- When I’m ready to drop everything and focus on basically nothing but potty training for a few weeks!
So, for any other mamas who are stressing about the pressures of getting your toddler potty trained as soon as possible – take heart! There’s no rush, take your time, and enjoy not having to worry about scoping out the closest bathroom every time you leave the house.
What made you decide it was time to potty train?
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
I didn’t actually put much thought into potty training until my son was 2.5. I just assumed boys usually trained closer to 3, so I was in no rush. And then I read Oh Crap! Potty Training and started to panic that we had missed our window!! So I bought all these supplies and was mentally preparing myself to start potty training over a long weekend in October.
And then this past weekend, Xander decided he didn’t want to wear a diaper anymore and we started potty training spontaneously!
I think because it was HIS decision though, things have gone pretty well so far! Fingers crossed that our progress continues now that he’s back at daycare.
guest
I also read Oh Crap Potty Training and highly recommend it! I trained my oldest at 28 months and she did great and I could tell she had been ready for a few weeks. With my youngest I’m aiming for 22 months if she seems ready. It’s such a personal decision and the only people who get to decide for you are those involved!
that being said, it is nice to hear others’ experiences.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
DS is 26 months, and I’m all for getting him potty trained ASAP, given he’s ready. For me, there’s no point being gung ho about it, if he’s not willing to participate.
– He’s already telling me when he’s gone pee or poo in his diaper after the fact, but not before.
– He knows what the toilet is and what we do on it, but he shows zero interest in participating (I’ve put him on the toilet numerous times).
I’d love it if he was potty trained before #2 gets here in March, but I’ve already anticipated carrying around his diapers along with DD’s diaper with us, just in case.
blogger / kiwi / 626 posts
LeLe is 20 months and she does also show signs of readiness, but I am feeling like you, that I don’t want to rush it. I bought her a potty and we talk about it a lot with her, but I am not pushing it. I do make a big deal of it if she pees in the potty or in the shower, but I think we are probably a few months away from her being able to really grasp the concept.
cherry / 108 posts
I’m right there with you! No rush over here either. My daughter shows signs here and there, and I’m sure if I was serious about it she would do fine. But, 8 months pregnant, I have no desire to keep bending down and up and taking her to the potty every hour till she goes. When she’s ready (and I’m ready), I feel that it will be less headache, pressure and stress!
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
I read an article recently that said delaying potty training is definitely a first world luxury. Most often than not it’s the parents that just aren’t ready to tackle it. Culturally, we train early. Soon after a child can walk they are expected to use the potty. I’ll see what happens when mine gets here.
guest
My doctor is adamant that anytime before 2.5 years is too early for the child to understand and it’s just the parents getting trained on listening to their children’s bodies. Like, he/she always goes after lunch so that’s when I put them on the potty. We hope to get our son out before the next one comes in Dec but if it doesn’t happen, that’s okay too. Definitely don’t want to traumatize.
pomegranate / 3225 posts
the recent studies I saw said don’t start until 27 months.. .much more reasonable
pomegranate / 3113 posts
My DD started being really interested in the potty around 18-19 months, but she’s missing an essential piece of the equation…she likes to take all her clothes off, sit naked on her little potty, “wipe” herself (I give her one square of tp to play with while she sits) and to flush the big potty, but she’s only actually peed on the potty once. She just doesn’t seem to have put two and two together yet. Once it seems to click, we’ll push her a little more, but for now we’re just trying to keep her interested in the potty generally. She’s only 21 months so I don’t feel a real urgency yet.
kiwi / 511 posts
For my oldest he was just over 3 years old, he showed interest before 3 but then lost it so it wasn’t a fight I wanted with a new born. And now my newborn is a 3 year old, and we had tried this weekend he asked for big boy underwear.
I tried what worked with the first one (knowing it might not work for this one but you have to start somewhere) that is put them on the toilet every hour on the hour unless they show signs of needing to go early. And that is what we did he went, and then 20 minutes into the hour wait he was dancing so we put him on the toilet and he went and we reset the timer and 20 minutes later he was playing and then got all upset because he pee’ed his pants. Oh the puddle
He was adamant that he wanted a diaper again and refused underwear, so we will try them again next weekend. I honestly think it is a stubborn thing for him and one day he is just gonna do it in a day or two.
All you guys with 20+ month kids and starting the potty training, wow it is pretty crazy how different kids are. I just wanted mention for other parents that have 3 year olds it is all good, kids are just different.
pomelo / 5866 posts
I thought about it right out of the newborn phase. I was ready to potty train from the get go. I have no idea why!!
People are different, I guess.
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
I’m waiting as well, but as Baby C nears 28 months, I’m definitely getting pressure from people around me. My gut tells me that she’s not ready yet – she doesn’t care at all about dirty diapers, she can’t sit still for very long, and I just don’t think the connections are there for her yet. I don’t want to dive into it just because the time is right – I’m very nervous about making it a stressful process if we start too early, and kiddo is prone to constipation as it is so I don’t want to make it worse by pushing it.