It’s hard to describe what it’s like meeting your daughter after watching her grow up through pictures over the last 17 months… It’s been about a month since we met our Lil’ Cowgirl and I’m still processing it and trying to wrap my head around all of the emotions and thoughts and feelings of that day. Since I’ll be returning to Korea to bring Lil’ CG home next week, I’m going to try my best to get my thoughts down before they completely escape me! I will say that when we first saw Lil’ CG walk through the doors of our adoption agency in Korea, my first thought was, “She’s real!” It was surreal seeing this little person we had gotten to know only through photos alive and in the flesh, walking around!
We had known from reports we received that Lil’ CG is sensitive and has a great deal of stranger anxiety. So we knew heading into our first meeting that it might not be all sunshine and rainbows. In fact, most of our meeting was faaaaaar from that. Lil’ CG actually arrived wearing sunglasses we sent her and she refused to take them off. In fact, she didn’t even want us to look at her. She cried upon seeing us and continued to cry for a good 45 minutes. Any time we tried to engage with her, she cried harder. It was so sad, and if she wasn’t so distraught, it would have almost been comical…almost.
Of course, it’s hard to watch any child cry, but when it’s a child you’ve been waiting for for well over a year, it’s heartbreaking. My heart broke for her little heart and hurt just thinking about how attached she is to her foster mother and how devastating it will be for Lil’ CG to leave her. We didn’t want to overwhelm Lil’ CG, but we did want and hope to make some kind of connection during our hour-long meeting. So, we just sat and played around her, goofing off with Lil’ CB and trying to slowly help her see that we were okay…
Thankfully, Lil’ CB (who leading up to this meeting was not so keen on gaining a sister) saved the day with his silliness and soccer skillz. Lil’ CG warmed up to Lil’ CB and was enthralled by her crazy big brother and wanted to join in and play with him. And Lil’ CB? Oh, goodness, my heart was bursting with pride watching him play with his new little sister, being gentle and so, so kind towards her.
Those last 15 minutes really redeemed the sadness and scariness of the majority of the meeting…we got to see some smiles, and even got some hugs and high fives! We stacked blocks together and somehow that quickly escalated into throwing blocks (?!), which we definitely wanted to put a stop to, but at the same time loved seeing her smiles as she threw blocks at the wall – haha!
Two days after our first meeting, we got to meet with Lil’ CG and her foster mother again, and though this one also started with some tears, they were short-lived, and after just a few minutes, the rest of our meeting was filled with smiles and laughs and some more great playtime between Lil’ CB and Lil’ CG. It was amazing that we were able to capture smiles like this:
and moments like this:
We are so thankful that our second meeting went so much better and so thankful that we were able to see glimpses of Lil’ CG’s true personality!
I will be back in Seoul next week and will receive custody of Lil’ CG then. I am certain she will be so, so sad when she has to leave her foster mother and I am anticipating the transition will be quite hard…but, I’m holding on to those smiles and laughs from that second meeting and holding on to the fact that I know I’ll see them again. Maybe not right away, but one day in our near future, that smile will be true and for us…
In the meantime, we’ll selfishly take any and all prayers and positive thoughts our way as Lil’ CG becomes an official part of the Cowgirl and Cowboy family…I feel like you’ve all been waiting with us over these last two years and I’m excited for you to get to know her as we get to know her ourselves!
grapefruit / 4731 posts
This must be tough! Good luck next week.
pear / 1998 posts
Lots of good thoughts and
from me. I hope it goes as smoothly as possible for both of you.
guest
Do you know how the agency and her foster mother prepares her for the meetings she had? What do they tell her?
Thinking of you and your family in this exciting and challegning transition time.
persimmon / 1165 posts
Sending lots of positive thoughts!
apricot / 317 posts
I am so happy for you! This brings back the memories of bringing my Eli home from Korea, and it was very, very hard at first – but so worth it! Have you considered emailing the foster family to keep in touch? We were able to do this (we went through SWS), and it’s been awesome! Sending you prayers and hugs!!
pomelo / 5660 posts
I’m SOOOOO excited for you and your family!
cantaloupe / 6869 posts
Thinking of you guys and hoping all goes well next week!
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
This sounds so hard, but I’m so excited for you guys!!
pineapple / 12053 posts
Tearing up reading this!!! So excited for you and your family!
coconut / 8279 posts
yup, just cried through the paragraph about her big brother getting her to warm up
I’m so excited and happy for all the smiles ahead of you
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
She’s absolutely adorable, and the fact that Lil CB warmed up to her quickly and was loving on her – *tears*
So flipping cute!!
1 more week!! So excited for y'all this moment is (almost) finally here!!!
kiwi / 635 posts
Brought to tears as well.. So thankful. I’ve never commented on your posts but been following along and checked out your personal blog as well. After the worry of your son what a blessing that he is being instrumental in bringing out smiles and laughs from your daughter and now his little sister. God bless you guys!
pomegranate / 3225 posts
wow, what an incredibly emotional experience for you and Little CG! Cant’ wait to read more of your story.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
She is sooooo adorable! Sending lots of positive thoughts your way!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
Wishing you guys an easy transition!
cantaloupe / 6630 posts
Very excited for you. Wishing you all the best of luck for next week!
guest
congrats! She is adorable! I thought you might enjoy reading; and seeing the amazing transformation of another adoptee. The blog is mix and match mama family blog. They adopted their little girl from China earlier this year and she went from a very scared little girl to seeming like one of the happiest I’ve ever seen! Best of luck!
blogger / pomegranate / 3044 posts
So much love for you guys! Good luck next week! Are all three of you going to bring her home, or just you?
guest
Adoptive parents have such a special calling. God bless you on the next step of your journey.
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
Sending you all good thoughts! So glad she has an awesome big bro to help her through the transition.
pineapple / 12566 posts
Good luck next week! I hope the transition goes well.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
So excited for your family!
GOLD / wonderful pomegranate / 28905 posts
She is beautiful and has such a radiant smile. I don’t know her history but I know for sure that she is one lucky lucky girl to be joining the Cowgirl family. We know there will be tough times ahead but I hope they are very short lived!
Have a safe trip and I’m so excited for you!!
blogger / apricot / 367 posts
Congrats to your family.. Will be sending prayers your way for a smooth transition for all!
nectarine / 2631 posts
What an exciting and scary time! I will be thinking of you next week- fingers crossed the transition is easier then you expect!