Before I had Drake, I remember wondering a lot about labor and delivery: what does a contraction actually feel like; will I really be screaming my head off like one of those women in the movies; what is the “ring of fire” and “urge to push.” Luckily there are a myriad of resources that document birth, from classes to online birth stories to talking to your friends, mothers, and doctors. After I had Drake though, I was thrown into a whole new world of postpartum and realized that while I had an inkling about birth, no one ever mentioned the things that happen after you deliver a child. I found myself constantly googling questions on my phone late at night as I nursed. Is this normal? Why is this happening? It seems like everyone shares all the things you’ll experience while having a child, but then communication seems to die down after that child arrives. So I thought it might be nice to share some things I learned after having three babies.

Shakes – The biggest thing I remember after having Juliet was the shakes. I actually never experienced that with Drake so I wasn’t expecting it to happen, but shortly after having Juliet my entire body started having tremors. I couldn’t stop it. I felt fine, but my body was just convulsing uncontrollably. The nurses told me it was normal and had to do with the large loss of blood after delivery. I remember my teeth chattering as I was shaking so hard, even though I wasn’t particularly cold. I was shaking for about an hour until it eventually died down. Interestingly enough it didn’t happen after I delivered Fiona even though I was waiting for it so this might not happen to you, but if it does, know it’s most likely normal.

Nurse Check Ins – Once you check in to your room postpartum, the nurse will do a blood pressure and temperature check on you, as well as a temperature check on the baby. This will continue every 4 hours while you remain in the hospital, so expect to be woken up even in the middle of the night for them to do their assessments.

The medical kit – The hospital provides you with an arsenal of items to help you deal with the swelling and pain you will undoubtedly experience in your lower regions. The items in my hospital included mesh underwear, a peri bottle to help keep the area clean (vs wiping and irritating it more), an instant ice pad that you crack in half to activate, Tucks pads, cream, and a numbing spray. It’s a bit of a regiment to keep up with, but it helps to heal that area and within a few days you usually don’t need to use all of the items anymore. Make sure to stock up on supplies before you go home, though you can easily pick up most of the items at the local pharmacy as well.

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Peeing is a must – You need to pee within 4 hours after giving birth. I don’t really know why that is the case, but it’s a big deal and if you are unable to do it within the 4 hour time period, you will have to be catheterized. With both Drake and Juliet I remember struggling to initially pee after birth, but I was so scared about having to be catheterized and was able to go. After having Fiona I tried to go when we were still  over at the labor and delivery side. I wasn’t able to go but you have four hours so the nurses weren’t stressed and said to try again when we were in the maternity side. After checking in at the maternity side and meeting my nurse for the night I once again tried again to go. I actually didn’t even feel like I needed to go, so the nurse brought some water. Throughout the next few hours I drank and tried but nothing came from it. As I watched the clock tick I was getting more and more concerned. Fiona was born at 6:13 PM and by 10:30 PM my nurse had come in after another failed attempt and said she had to get the catheter. At that time I had the feeling of needing to go so much, I didn’t care so long as that feeling would go away. I laid in the bed and the nurse started the procedure. She noted that I was extremely swollen in my lower region from pushing, and that was probably the reason why I couldn’t go. Even though the epidural helped me not feel any pain during the end stages of labor (I didn’t have one with my first two), it also masked the amount of pressure I was using when pushing as well. The catheter was inserted and instantly the little bag attached was filled. The nurse said that if I had over 100mLs of liquid come out they would need to keep it in overnight since the amount of liquid back up wouldn’t be good sitting in my bladder if I couldn’t voluntarily pee. The bag filled to the top and the nurse had to quickly empty it, so it was deemed the catheter would have to remain in. The nurse showed me how to maneuver carrying around the little bag and said to call if I had difficulty moving around and handling the baby with it. The catheter, while useful I’m sure, instantly gave me the feeling of needing to go again. It was very uncomfortable and jarring to constantly feel the pressure below and not be able to relieve it, much as how I felt during labor when Fiona was descending. I had a lot of trouble adjusting to the catheter and at one point even thought about insisting it be removed, but I somehow lasted until the morning and was able to go normally shortly after it was removed.

Loneliness – Staying in the maternity suite is a very isolating experience, for me at least. I lose track of time and days and feel as you basically are cut off from the world staying in your own room, sleeping on and off when you can, and being alone for a lot of the time. Honestly if it wasn’t for my smartphone to keep me entertained, I’m not sure how I would have passed the time. I have always had visitors come spread throughout the day for every birth, but most of the day is spent just sitting around with baby and the occasional nurse check in. For some people I know this would be ideal, but I found it kind of lonely, which was unexpected.