Let’s be honest – as much as I adore having Jackson and wouldn’t change a single thing about my life as a mom, there are certain things that you just can’t do as a parent (at least, as a parent of a toddler!).
I am obsessed with my little family, but things sure are different now!
Here are a few things that I miss from my life before Jackson:
1. Reading. I used to be a voracious reader. The year before I had Jackson, I averaged reading more than a book a week – well over 50 books in the course of a year. But now? I don’t think I’ve actually finished a book longer than The Pout Pout Fish in months. Some of it is just shifting priorities – I’d rather spend my (very little) down time hanging with Mr. Garland or blogging than reading, but I sincerely miss my books! I have started to read a bit in the evenings again, but it’s still almost impossible to finish a book – I think as Jackson gets older I’ll probably find time to do this again, but for now I miss my quality time with my Kindle!
2. Sleeping in. I know, obviously. Sleep is a huge sacrifice when you have kids. Jackson has always been a fantastic sleeper, but he still wakes up early! I miss the ability to sleep in (which for me, really means 8:30 or so – I’m not asking for much!) and then lay around in bed for a while before getting up. Now as soon as I hear his little voice over the monitor it’s time to go! go! go!
3. Lazy dinner nights. We both work full time and sometimes there are just nights where we are exhausted and don’t want to cook or put together a healthy meal. That used to be no big deal before Jack – we’d grab food on the way home from work or eat something ridiculous and unhealthy that we already had at the house. But now? We have another mouth to feed and we want to set a good example! Mr. Garland and I still are able to have nights where we pick up food or do something lazy for dinner, but when we do we have to figure out what we’re going to feed Jackson too, so it’s not nearly as simple!
4. House projects. Mr. Garland and I used to do a ton of home improvement projects. Almost all of our free time was filled with one project or another for the house and we loved it. But then we had Jackson and our priorities shifted – not just for how we spent our time but also for how we spent our money! We have done very little to the house since having Jackson, and I have to admit I am itching for a new project around the house! I’ve recently started to do a bit more here and there, but I miss when almost every weekend was filled with one project or another.
5. Spontaneity. I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but it’s hard to just pick up and leave the house with a toddler in tow. We used to decide on a whim to go out with friends or go on a random date night, but all of these things require much more planning now. Sometimes it feels like too much work to even run to the grocery store because of all of the prep work it requires to just walk out the door!
6. Being out all day. As much as I love nap time, it’s not easy to work around it. We’ve got to work everything we do around nap time, which means that we’re very rarely out of the house for more than two or three hours at a time to avoid the dreaded car nap. We used to just pick up and go on short day drips to towns a few hours away, or decide at the last minute to go spend all day at an attraction downtown…now we are slaves to Jackson’s schedule. We don’t mind too much because the schedule works for us and his sleep is fantastic because of it, but I miss the ability to just run off and waste a day doing anything I want!
7. “Me” Time. I still manage to get a bit of quiet time to myself, but I do miss the days where I could take it anytime I wanted! Now it’s a carefully coordinated amount of time that has to be scheduled around Jackson, and often if I’m trying to catch some alone time at the house while he’s awake, I have to hear him downstairs whining for me because he wants to know what I’m up to! I miss the days where I could just disappear to my bedroom for a while to paint my nails, play on my phone, or just lay in bed and be lazy.
8. A clean house. I have no idea how such a tiny person can create such a huge mess. That’s really all there is to say about that one.
9. Staying up late. I’ve never been one to stay up terribly late on the regular, but before Jackson I definitely enjoyed the occasional late night. Now? Once the clock hits eleven I start to worry about how tired I’ll be in the morning, and anything past midnight is just begging for misery. Sadly, no matter how late I stay up, Jack will still be awake bright and early!
10. Being selfish. Isn’t that what this whole list really boils down to? I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss the days where I could do whatever I want, whenever I wanted, for as long as I wanted to. Now I have a little piece of my heart and soul running around and getting into all sorts of mischief, and I feel like I am constantly worrying about him in one way or another. It’s a wonderful thing to feel this much love, but my goodness sometimes the magnitude of it is overwhelming!
. . . . .
Despite how much I miss some of the freedoms of being kid-free, I’ve gotta say I would take parenthood over all of these things every single time. And, of course, the wonderful thing about this list is that almost all of the things that I truly miss about my pre-mom life are things that I will be able to have back within the next several years. As kids get older they become more adaptable and more able to participate in all of these things, so it’s encouraging to know that it’s just a temporary phase to give these things up!
What do you miss the most about your pre-parenting life?
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
haha spot on! esp a clean house! i am totally OCD and obsessed with cleaning pre-baby, and now it irks me to no end when I’m “behind” on cleaning but there’s not much i can do about it!
clementine / 806 posts
i could have written this post — glad I’m not alone!
SO excited to move to 1 nap/day because it is impossible to do anything on a 2 nap schedule.
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
It’s funny, Jackson is about 6 mo younger than my LO and I definitely had all those items on my list 6 mo ago. But since LO turned 2, I’m realising that I’m going to get some of those things back not too long from now. For example, next summer, LO might not nap every day and we can do all day excursions. Even now, she often sleeps until 8AM on weekends. Bliss! It’s funny how 6 months can make such a difference in my outlook.
pear / 1510 posts
#10. All the way. Some days, I just want to do what I want to do. It even goes back to before DH. When I would come home from work, watch trashy TV, eat whatever, maybe go out and grab a drink, get up for a run, meet up with some friends, or just sit. Oh, I miss those days sometimes.
nectarine / 2964 posts
Aww… thanks for this post – agree to everything you said.
On top of that, I miss being able to travel without the constant fear of how LO may act in the flight, during the trip, or if he will adjust to jet lag gracefully, or if he would be sick. I no longer enjoy any trips as I used to. And similar to your (3), I miss not having to worry about what this little person needs to eat the next meal. I miss going to a restaurant without having to look at the menu and wonder if he would eat anything at all from this menu, or painstakingly ask if they can do a side of broccoli and after paying an extra $4 for the broccoli LO barely touch it. I miss the fact that after an exhausting week, I don’t need to plan what I need to do on Saturday and Sunday and how to fit different chunks of activities (play dates, nap time, grocery trips, errands…etc.) smoothly into Saturday and Sunday. I miss date nights as we haven’t been on one for way too long, and finally I miss able to devote as much time as I want to my career and what I want to do. I no longer am able to do that after LO was born.
pomegranate / 3393 posts
Yes and yes!
grapefruit / 4731 posts
Yup! I actually didn’t realize how much I miss my “me”/”selfish” time till recently. I love my little guys but I just want a little bit more selfish time!
kiwi / 603 posts
Yes all of this! (Sigh)
apricot / 409 posts
I love being a mom too, but I definitely miss some things. My house is a mess….I dont know how DD manages to get food everywhere, but she does. I miss running errands or meeting up with friends after work. Everyday after work I have to go straight to daycare to pick LO up before they close.
GOLD / eggplant / 11517 posts
I feel ya! I was just unprepared for how much daily work is required with another person (more messes, more meals to prepare, zero down time whatsoever except for naps and the tiny sliver of time between LO’s bed time and mine – usually less than one hour!)
GOLD / eggplant / 11517 posts
@Grace: Yeah, my LO is pushing three and there are glimmers of hope on the horizon for sure. She can skip a nap and its not the end of the world so we can stay out longer, she can play independently, etc.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
Sleeping / sleeping in!!! DS is pretty flexible and can stay up late given he’s busy playing, but no matter what time he goes to bed (however late), he always wakes up the same time every day. He won’t even sleep in, and I’m pooped!
cherry / 108 posts
Just yes to all this. Except I was never much of a reader or house projects. I used to stay up late pre-baby days anyways, but #9 is my train of thought basically every night and I still go to bed late because that me-time is Oh so sweet once the little one is asleep!
blogger / kiwi / 626 posts
I miss reading quietly. And being able to eat in the living room without a little person asking for a bite. I also miss Saturday afternoon naps. I used to love to escape to the bedroom on a Saturday afternoon and watch my reality TV and nap.
blogger / apricot / 431 posts
The idea of sleeping in sounds amazing. Even if my husband were to get both the kids on his own, I would be the one getting him up to get the kids. (This hasn’t happened yet btw) Haha. I just want to wake up in silence on my own one day
pomelo / 5220 posts
Yes to all of these… especially just laying around in bed on the weekends. That will never happen again. Oh and just sitting on the couch at night, not having 100 things I should be doing like making lunch. Sigh.