It’s been almost a year since I transitioned to being a SAHM, so I thought I would share about my experience thus far.
I never really thought too much about how a baby would impact my career decisions until I was married. Thankfully in my field, there was some flexibility in being able to work part time so I was naturally drawn to that decision when we started to think about having kids. I felt like it would be the best of both worlds and I didn’t have to choose one over the other.
Interestingly, the transition to part time was so much harder than I thought and I struggled emotionally with the upcoming change throughout my pregnancy and even after Lil’ Pizza was born. I knew that once I returned to work, my responsibilities would change and that was difficult to let go of at first. We also didn’t know what we were going to do with child care once I went back to work, and that caused a lot of anxiety throughout my maternity leave. Thankfully, a dear friend of mine offered to watch Lil’ Pizza, which helped ease my mind knowing my little one was going to be with someone I knew and trusted. I had a mix of emotions returning to work too. A part of me was itching to go back to work because Lil’ Pizza was such a difficult newborn. However, there was also a part of me that felt sad and guilty that I wasn’t the one caring for my own child.
Once I found a good rhythm to my week, work and home life balance seemed great overall. My hours started really early in the day so I still had the entire afternoon with Lil’ Pizza on the days that I worked. While it was hard to work on Saturdays because it took away the only time that could be spent together as a family (Sundays were busy with church and other social activities), it allowed Mr. Pizza to bond with Lil’ Pizza.
While I was part time, there were a couple more transitions with child care for Lil’ Pizza. After a period of time, my friend was unable to watch Lil’ Pizza so I went back to looking for child care. We were able to find someone else to watch Lil’ Pizza in her home but after about a year, she was also no longer able to watch Lil’ Pizza. At that time, I was a few months pregnant. And while I wasn’t yet ready to stop working that early in my pregnancy, it simply made the most sense financially to transition to be a SAHM.
Being at home with Lil’ Pizza was enjoyable most days, especially since it was during a period in her development when she was learning to talk in sentences. It was fun to see her grow so much during our time together. Then Baby Pizza was born and while I struggled during the early months once again, I was content being at home.
I think slowly easing into the SAHM role helped me to have a smoother transition. Despite Mr. Pizza’s long work hours, he still helps out at home as much as he can. And while I am not the best at housekeeping or cooking, I feel that I need to embrace that more as my “job” and really grow in those areas.
Sometimes having to decide to be a SAHM is not an easy transition for everyone. Here are some thoughts and tips for a smoother transition!
– Surround yourself with people who value your decision to be a SAHM. I meet with moms regularly who wholeheartedly embrace being a SAHM and have no regrets leaving their highly valued jobs. I honestly think this is the biggest reason why I enjoy being a SAHM.
– Break up the week with scheduled activities (check out your local library for special programs, meet up with other moms and their kids, even going to the grocery store counts as a scheduled activity!)
– Take time away for yourself. I am still working on this part as I don’t have anything really consistent for myself just yet. Still, I am lucky that Mr. Pizza is always pushing me to meet up with friends and get a break when I need it.
– Don’t feel so pressured to do a great job at being a SAHM everyday. Some days (well actually, most days), the house is a crazy mess but it’s okay! Hopefully you have a partner that is understanding. 
– Like any job, skills are developed. I wish I was an amazing cook. I wish I was meticulous with cleaning and organizing. But I try to remind myself that it’s more important to love my kids and help them to flourish. I’m working on the other stuff too.
. . . . .
If you are a SAHM, what has helped you to embrace your role as a SAHM?
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
I’m not a SAHM, but I wanted to commenting that going to the grocery store is DEFINITELY a big scheduled activity that lets us kill time and stimulates DD!
guest
This is a timely post as I am winding down toward my last day of work next Friday to be a full-time SAHM to my 2-year-old and our second, who will be arriving sometime soon. I went to 20 hours a week about a year and a half ago, so my hope is that the gradual transition of it will make is easier. I think the biggest thing that I’m nervous about is what it will be like when I do decide to return to work in a few years. Jobs are so competitive and having that gap in employment is going to make things a little harder when I decide to return to work. People keep advising me to try to stay connected, to volunteer or otherwise keep networking with people, but that seems entirely impossible when also juggling two young children and running a household. A big thing I had to swallow when deciding to stay at home (which for us was partially a choice and partially because financially I would be basically paying to work due to the cost of childcare in our area) was that I might have to start over a bit in my career or re-enter the workforce at a lower level than I am at now. I think the trade-off is worth it but it’s still a little frustrating.
guest
I hesitated staying home due to career goals and financial needs and now am a SAHM to 3 little ones. There is certainly no glamour in our lives (or a regular paycheck for me which I miss) but the payoff is knowing I am the one loving & training my little ones during these formative early years. I’m their advocate and teacher and I’m thankful for other SAHM’s around me who can laugh, support and encourage me during the hard days. I attend a local MOPS group and love it. I’ve made many good friends as a result if you need an idea of where to meet other local moms. Best wishes and congratulations!
guest
Really helpful to read. I am glad that mr pizza is supportive and I like the part where u wrote not to be so hard on yourself. Thanks for sharing !!!
blogger / apricot / 431 posts
@snowjewelz: yes! you have to spread out the errands because they all count as an “activity”.
@ashley: I have struggled with the same thoughts of how things would be for me if/when I want to go back to work. I don’t know if this is a good way to think about it but I came to peace with it by knowing that I got to have a job for 9 years that I enjoyed so if I go back to work in the future and it’s “just a job” to bring in some $ (and it’s not as rewarding), it’s ok. It’s always good to remind ourselves that the trade off is definitely worth it! You only get one chance at this right?
@Mel: I hope to be more adventurous and go outside of my circle of mommy friends once Baby Pizza is a bit older. I have heard of local MOPS groups and it’s great to know it’s a supportive group that you could connect with. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! It truly is a privilege that not everyone is able to do!