Having BunBun was a huge game changer for me. Pre-BunBun I used to shout from the roof tops that I only wanted two kids. “One for each hand,” I’d joke. (But I wasn’t really joking. I was completely serious.) Then I had her. Her birth was perfect, and she’s been such an easy baby that I’ve been not only considering having a third child, but I actually crave it some days.
I know some women joke around about having baby fever, but—with the exception of a few times, which I’ll get to in a minute—I’ve had it constantly since that euphoric experience of delivering my second child.
Now, don’t get me wrong; Bunny was a game changer, too. It just turns out that she was a tad bit more high maintenance as a baby. (Sweet Bunny, if you’re reading this, but I’m sorry; compared to your sister, you were really hard.) It took me a good year to get on board with wanting to get pregnant again after Bunny, but I was seriously ready the day I had BunBun to do it all over again.
Which brings me to the times when baby fever is the furthest thing from my mind:
- When I text Mr. Rabbit in the middle of the day, practically in tears because both girls are screaming at the tops of their lungs, and crying hysterically, and I’m already out numbered with them.
- When Bunny’s being a threenager (and she still has two months before she’s actually 3. Lord, help me), and I literally think I’m going to lose my mind.
- When I can’t remember the last time I slept through the night.
- When my husband is deployed, away on business trips, or works late, and I’m all alone.
- When my husband comes home and I don’t even say hi. I just hand him the baby, tell him, “good luck” with the toddler, and I escape to the bathroom for a nice, loooooong hot shower with a beer.
- When I’ve fed my toddler nothing but McDonald’s and Chic-fil-A every day for an entire week. (Hey, at least Mickey D’s serves apples in their happy meal.)
- When the baby is teething.
- When I finally think I have a handle on things, only to fully realize that if we have a third, everything will get flipped upside down.
But, with all that aside, I feel like our family isn’t complete yet. There’s this tug at my heart saying we need another one. To be totally transparent: I’m so scared of having a boy next time. With two girls, I know what I’m doing, but a boy would be so completely different. I’ve been transitioning the girls’ clothes lately, and every time I pack away a different size I become a big ol’ mess of tears, because I don’t know if that’s the last time I’ll see them on my baby’s itty-bitty body.
There’s also the military to deal with in our family planning. We’re up for a move in 2016, and while we have a slight inclination for where we’re going, the timeline definitely puts a kink in our baby-making plans. Everything is up in the air as far as how long we’d be without a house, how long we’d be living out of suitcases and in a hotel, and that type of stress will be hard enough, not to mention even crazier with a newborn. But, we’d like to space the kids close together, so we’re in a slight pickle.
The other day my husband and I were playing with the girls. I had BunBun on my lap, blowing raspberries on her belly and making her squeal and giggle uncontrollably, and Mister Rabbit was right next to me doing the same thing to Bunny. It hit me that if we had a third, someone would be left out. How can we devote that much attention to all three when they’ll all want it at the same time? I’d love to hear how families with 3+ handle situations like that.
So that’s where we’re at; we’re ready and totally not ready at the same time to start trying for a third child. Luckily, a lot of our friends have multiple kids, so the support is in place for being out numbered by our little ones, even if the support is far away since we don’t (and won’t even if we move) live near our family. But I’d love to hear from you. Are you a mom with three (or more) little ones? How did you take the plunge and decide to have more? Or are you also on the fence like me? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Images courtesy of Kim Jackson Photography in Albuquerque, New Mexico
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
Your girls are soo adorable
Tho we’re planning on 2, sometimes I don’t even know how to handle 2, let alone 3, haha!!
cantaloupe / 6086 posts
I could have written this post! My baby is turning 1 and I don’t feel done yet with two. But I have all those questions as well as questions about finances and whether I even can get another sticky baby. And yet my heart is there (and in Texas I’m surrounded by larger families). I mention it to my husband all the time to warm him up for next year which would be our ideal timing
pomegranate / 3225 posts
Love this! If you have three you will be my hero!
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
OMG did I write this post? I have 2 girls, similar in ages, and I have baby fever all the time! Whereas I am officially (okay maybe like 95% sure) I want a 3rd, we will be waiting until 2017. By then we should be moved into a bigger home and I the school district for when DD1 starts in the fall of 2017.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
We’re in the same boat…. open to/want three, but securely happy with the two we have so far… everything just seems like it’s tailored for a family of four!
We’ll likely end up with #3 closer in age to #2 than 1/2 were… but we’ll see what the future holds for us!
apricot / 317 posts
Your girls are ADORABLE. For us, the transition from 0 to 1 was very difficult…from 1 to 2 wasn’t bad at all, and from going from 2 to 3 was easy. And, even though most families in our area are small, I would like at least 1 more. But I’m the opposite of you…I have always had boys…and while I’d kinda like to parent a girl, I don’t know what to do with one!
blogger / kiwi / 588 posts
Totally on the same boat here! DS is almost 3 and DD just turned 1. Because DD was a much more low maintenance baby than DS I feel like I have this urge to have another one. We’ll see in a couple months how this pans out, since ideally it would be nice to keep the 2-year age gap between #2 and #3.
pomegranate / 3275 posts
Just had my fourth and we are done. Done. Done. Done. When you are done, you know. There’s no guessing, doubting, or wondering. I didn’t feel done after my second or third, we just felt incomplete, but we feel perfect now.
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
Im on the fence about a fourth….though Im the only one on the fence my husband is about 100 feet back from the fence with a blow torch in hand, he is done but Im not sure still
blogger / apricot / 367 posts
I also have two girls and would have no idea at all what to do with a boy! But my girls are older and we are so far from the baby stage that we are happy with two
guest
I could have written this post. Our 2 girls are around the same ages as yours, and 23 months apart. #2 was a harder baby but so easy now at 15 months compared to her maniac 3 yr old sister! We really want a third but are thinking that #2/3 would be about a 3.5 yr age difference so that we can have at least one close to kindergarten when we have #3…and we’d be more financially ready (ideally, ha!!).
guest
By the way, your girls are adorable!! And they look so much alike!
guest
I am seven months pregnant with my fourth and thus far feeling very comfortable with this as our last.
After two and again after three I really felt not done.
Some of it is their ages (6, 4, 2) and some time, but watching my three interact is wonderful. They all have their own individual relationships, and their whole group ones too. The belly button raspberries. they would be playing that on their own or on me. My oldest particularly has made the youngest his baby (from when she was half an hour old) and my four year old is itching to do that with her new brother.
The hard times are when every one is cranky for different reasons and we need to get something done. Or be somewhere. Three kids even minimalist ones also have so much stuff. Four will be worse.
blogger / kiwi / 675 posts
I love your pics such a beautiful family!! I could have written this exact post as well…I e wanted another from the moment my second was born which is just silly to me. Our girls are 2.5 years apart and we are trying now which will make our third 3.5 years apart…I wish I’d started sooner but I am thinking they’ll still all be close…I’ve been on the fence for such a long time which I’ve realized is mostly just my fear of not being able to manage our whole families needs….ultimately I think I’ll regret it if I don’t try. It’s a tough choice!!
persimmon / 1096 posts
I’m in the same boat. DS1 will be 3 in March, DS2 will be 1 this month, and while NEITHER have been easy newborns/infants (pretty tough, actually) I just know we are not done. My husband is on board with 3, just a matter of timing – I’m ready yesterday, he is on the fence about another 22-ish month age gap, so we’re kind of leaving it up to chance starting now
I come from a family of 3 so I know there is always enough love to go around 
guest
Your children are beautiful
We had 3 in 36 months. All of the things you mentioned that are hard (sleep, teething, etc…) equally apply to baby #3. The beauty is that you are more experienced as a mom to navigate the waters of another child and the older 2 become a little more independent each day. They learn to wait and share. I felt crazy some days with 1 and then again when we had 2. Each child is a new adjustment but more love, more hugs, more laughter! We were all alone with no family nearby. I made friends with an amazing group of moms who became my village. Best wishes….
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
I’ve never really thought about this until I read your post, but I don’t ever really have any memories of happy times when it seemed like someone was left out of the fun. They just sort of take turns and play with each other, too, while we’re all having fun. Now, I can definitely think of some times when all three were unhappy and I just couldn’t be everything to everyone when they need it.
That’s when I go into triage mode and just assess who needs attention most and go from there.
Your girls are so cute, so naturally I want you to have more so I can see their cute little faces all together.
blogger / persimmon / 1231 posts
Yes to all of this! Scared and excited all at the same time. I think we’re waiting a bit more though
blogger / grape / 92 posts
Wow, this is so strangely similar to my own experience. I also was dead set on having two. Just two, and was thrilled with both girls. Over the moon! Then after about 18 months from my second, I started feeling that tug. That insistent urge that my family wasn’t complete. It took about 7 months from that time to reach this third pregnancy, and I’m really so excited about it. Even with everything going on in my life, and the fact that I am a single mother now and will be with a new infant, I am so, so excited to welcome this new little one. But to balance out all that excitement I’m also anxious that it might be a boy! I have no brothers, no male cousins, absolutely zero experience with male children. And now with no male presence in the home, I would be even more clueless! I would of course love a boy, but I can’t lie that the possibility of one scares me. With girls, I feel like I know what I’m doing. A boy would completely throw me for a loop!