Hellobee

Respect for animals is an important lesson to teach all children. It is often their first lesson in empathy. Their treatment of their pets (and those of their families and friends) often carries over to their treatment of their friends at daycare or school. Not to mention, so many people have pets, even if children don’t live with pets of their own, it will make their lives easier to know how to appropriately interact with animals.

My last post was about the many benefits and rewards of raising children with animals. In order to enjoy those rewards, we must be smart and careful with how we supervise our children and our animals. I promised a post about teaching children how to behave appropriately around dogs. While this post has some of that, what I actually want to share is how to better read dogs’ body language in order to more effectively supervise interactions between children and dogs.

Studies show that of the approximately 800,000 dog bites for which Americans seek medical attention yearly, over half of these injuries are to children between the ages of 5 and 9. Another startling statistic: 77% of dog bites come from the family dog or a friend’s dog. The vast majority of these bites are during supervised play. They are not a result of parents irresponsibly leaving their children alone to play with the dog. Bites are nearly always preventable accidents that happen because of a misunderstanding of a dog’s body language. Most dogs, especially house pets, don’t want to bite. They attempt to communicate with us through their own unique body language. Unfortunately many times we overlook this body language and don’t “listen” to our dogs, or don’t understand what they’re trying to tell us. This is when they have to communicate more clearly, turning to growling, baring teeth and occasionally nipping or biting.

Dogs differ greatly in their tolerance for miscommunication.  Some have a short fuse and give few warning signs before escalating to growling or nipping. Others will seemingly tolerate anything. Dogs are dogs though, not people. They all have a point at which they will resort to the only communication some humans seem to listen to: snarling, growling or biting. Wouldn’t it be great if we could prevent many of these bites by simply listening to our dogs, understanding them, and teaching these skills to our children?

There are certain cues that dogs give, usually long before the growling, snapping or biting occurs, that are more subtle. These are cues that we should back away, redirect the child involved and encourage them to do something else, and leave the dog alone.

Body language cues signaling discomfort, pain or fear:

• Stiff posture – Happy dogs are loose, wiggly and soft. A stiff posture indicates tension of some kind. It might not be discomfort, the dog could be focused on another dog, a ball or food. Either way, it is best to avoid approaching a dog for pets when they are stiff.
• Closed mouth – Usually if an active dog is happy and relaxed, their mouth will be open, often in a big toothy grin. This applies even if it’s not hot out. When a dog that isn’t sleeping has its mouth closed tightly, it is best to leave it alone.
• Hard eyes – This takes some practice. It is helpful to watch videos or look at photos of dogs who are playing or happily sitting with their owners, and dogs who are nervous or uncomfortable for some reason. There is a distinct difference in the expression in their eyes. Again, if you see a dog staring with hard eyes, leave it alone.
• Raised tail – Again, this can mean play, excitement, nerves or aggression. Better to be safe than sorry. Leave the dog alone.
• Hackles up – This one is pretty obvious, I think. If the hair on the dog’s back is raised, there’s something wrong. It might be really scared or aggressive (so often they go together).

This is a video published by The Family Dog that does a fantastic job of illustrating happy dog body language as well as unhappy, stressed or pre-aggressive dog body language.

There are certain interactions between kids and dogs that should be avoided completely. If kids know that they should never hug a dog, for example, the behavior will disappear much easier than if they think they can hug the family dog but no other dogs.  It is simpler to teach appropriate behavior across all dogs, even if the family dog happens to be exceptionally forgiving and tolerant. So what are these common, well-intentioned behaviors that make dogs uncomfortable?

• Hugs – In dog language, throwing an arm over one’s back is a blatant display of dominance. Some dogs are incredibly cuddly, like our pit bull mix, Harper, but even she gets nervous if I run up to her and throw my arms around her with no warning.
• Kisses – Especially on the face. The worst example would be holding the dog’s head with both hands and coming face to face with the dog. I’ve seen this happen more times than I can count.
• Taking things from the dog – This is usually a problem when a playful dog steals a child’s toy. The first reaction is to go get that toy back, and if the child is old enough, to scold the dog afterwards. It is safer, given that many dogs display some amount of resource guarding, to let the grown ups remove the toy from the dog’s mouth.
• Getting in their space, even just for a pat –In general, dogs don’t love it when people get in their space. If you want to pet a dog, even if it is your own dog, invite it into your space. Most dogs will jump at the chance for attention. If the dog doesn’t respond, leave it alone!
• Startling or waking them up – This is critical with older dogs. It’s pretty hard to truly startle a younger dog. They just don’t sleep that soundly and are always aware of where their people are. As dogs age, however, they lose their sharp senses and often will sleep very deeply. It is rude to startle them and wake them up without warning. Teach your children to call their name from across the room, or better yet, let them sleep and give them attention later!
• Shrieking, yelling, being crazy – A hard one. Some dogs will tolerate this activity level just fine, as long as they aren’t being pestered during the crazy play. Some dogs might join in, but with this level of excitement that usually isn’t a good idea even if the dog is truly just playing. Many dogs will get extremely nervous around loud shrieking, and will want a place to go to get away. Give them that option! Dogs should always have a safe place to hide from the craziness of kids!
• Chasing and following – Don’t do it. I don’t know any dog that likes being chased by people. They often play chase with each other, but even the most confident, relaxed dogs start looking nervous when kids start following them around. If a dog gets up and walks away, he is telling you something in the most polite way he knows how.

When I’m supervising kids around my dogs, I like to tell the kids exactly why I’m stopping them from certain behaviors. I think kids, even very young ones, understand more than we give them credit for. If they understand that hugging a dog is very scary for the dog, they usually will stop trying to do it. I watch the children very closely and try to head off any inappropriate behaviors before they start. Equally important though, is to watch the dog. Watch for the cues above that signal an attempt to communicate that she is uncomfortable or nervous about the situation and do something immediately to resolve it. If you can redirect the child, the dog will learn that you’re in control and that they don’t have to try to control the situation themselves. If it is too chaotic and you don’t feel that you can make the dog feel safe, remove either the child or the dog from the situation completely. Give the dog an out. Dogs don’t choose to bite if they have other options. Always have a safe, quiet place for the dog(s) to retreat to where they can have a break from the children.

With unfamiliar dogs, even those belonging to friends or family, the best way to approach the situation is to ask the owner what would work best for their dog. Some dogs do best with an initial greeting and others are better left alone until they’re comfortable. In general, if a dog doesn’t actively try to engage a new person, child or adult, it’s better left alone.

This is an incredibly moving video published by The Family Dog called Stop the 77. It refers to the statistic mentioned above, that 77 percent of dog bites are from the family dog or a friend’s dog. It also is a good reminder that we need to really listen to our dogs and help them through stressful situations with kids, before something terrible happens.