Baby Oats getting ready for one of his last naps out of the crib…and the last with a swaddle and a paci!
I wrote a few weeks ago about transitioning Baby Oats from the swing/our bed to his own space in the Pack n Play in our room. Unfortunately, shortly after that post published, we hit the 4 month sleep regression and any progress we had made vanished.
This past week, I had a few friends over for coffee, and we got to chatting about sleep issues. One friend has a son who is two weeks older than Baby Oats, and she mentioned that her son has been sleeping in his own crib at night and for naps, and wasn’t even waking to eat overnight. I begged her for her secret to magical baby sleep. Turns out she had hired a sleep consultant with some wonderful techniques and ideas, and she was willing to share. Within a couple of hours, I’d received a whole sleep training program, and Mr. O and I psyched ourselves up to begin.
We used the Ferber method with Little Oats; after a few nights of ten-minute checks, she was able to put herself to sleep. However, regardless of what we tried, she still woke up at least once per night until she was 16 months old. Baby Oats has a much different temperament than Little Oats, and I was pretty sure that Ferber wouldn’t work quite as well. Thankfully, the sleep program we wanted to try was sort of an ‘easy’ cry-it-out method.
This 10-day method tackled daytime sleep and night time sleep at the same time. Since it focuses on getting rid of all sleep crutches, we also decided to get rid of the swaddle and pacifier as well. Crazy? Maybe – but honestly, a few days of exhaustion would be worth it if Baby Oats could learn to sleep in his own bed all the time. And night weaning in the process? Even better. I’ll write about the nap training process in my next post, but for now I’ll focus on night time sleep.
Here’s how it goes:
After a bedtime routine of your choosing, put baby in their crib, turn off the lights, and say a ‘key phrase.’ Then, sit in a chair beside the crib for as long as it takes for baby to fall asleep; if they’re crying, shushing and repeating your ‘key phrase’ every few minutes is encouraged. For night time wakeups, let baby cry for 10 minutes, then go in and sit in the chair until baby falls back asleep (if they haven’t already). This method also relies on NOT feeding baby overnight, so if your little one doesn’t weigh enough and isn’t old enough, this program probably isn’t for you. (Baby Oats is almost 20lbs at 5 months!!) The first three nights, you sit beside the crib. The next three nights, you sit across the room. The final four nights, you sit just outside the door. If you’re lucky, you won’t need all ten nights, and baby will be falling asleep by themselves.
Reading this plan, I was pretty nervous. Baby Oats had never really fallen asleep on his own before, and I could only imagine sitting in a rocking chair beside his crib for hours upon hours. Also, he likes to comfort nurse at night, so I doubted he would make it through an entire night without wanting to nurse! I was sure he would wake himself up with his hands free, too – all in all, I was convinced this would be a complete and utter disaster. But Mr. O wanted to give it a try, so last Thursday night, we began.
Night One:
After nursing Baby Oats, I changed him into his pyjamas, and we read some stories. Then I put on his sleep sack, turned on his white noise, turned off the lights, and laid him down in the crib. Mr. O was taking the first night of sitting, because we figured if Baby Oats couldn’t smell my milk, he would settle in better. For the first ten minutes, Baby Oats just laid there, staring at the ceiling and wiggling his legs around. Then the crying started (and I shut the monitor off because I didn’t want to hear it). He cried on and off for about 45 minutes. Mr. O shushed him, sang to him, and picked him up occasionally, and eventually he fell asleep on his own.
That night, he woke up twice; once at 1:30am and once at 3:30am. At 1:30, he cried for about 5 minutes, and fell back asleep. At 3:30, he cried on and off for about 30 minutes – since he never cried for longer than about 2 minutes at a time, we didn’t go in to sit with him. He fell back to sleep on his own, and slept until 7:00am. Upon waking, I was completely shocked at how well the first night had gone; milk-free, swaddle-free, paci-free, Mama-free. I’ve often heard that the first night of sleep training goes really well, then baby gets smart and the next few nights are much harder. We’ll see.
Night Two:
We completed the same bedtime routine, and put Baby Oats in his crib. This time I sat beside his crib. He cried on and off for about 20 minutes, calming when I shushed him or patted his stomach. When he finally fell asleep, he slept until about 4:00am. He had a tougher time settling then; I think Mr. O sat in his room for an hour before he fell back to sleep. This was probably the hardest part; I knew that if I just went in and nursed him, he would doze off and we could all get some sleep. But I just kept reminding myself that one or two tough nights would be worth it if he kept sleeping well. After he fell to sleep, he stayed asleep until Little Oats woke him up at 7:30am.
Night Three:
After our bedtime routine, Baby Oats snuggled into his crib and fell asleep. He didn’t wake up again until 7:00am the next morning. My mind was officially blown…Little Oats didn’t sleep through the night until she was 16 months old.
Night Four:
Even though this is a 10-day program, I’m stopping here. Baby Oats fell asleep on his own with zero crying, and slept straight through until morning. (After I wrote this post, Baby Oats continued sleeping through the night with no crying for nights five, six, seven and eight).
I’m sitting here now with both of my kids in bed at 8:00pm, knowing that if all goes well, I’ll get a full night’s sleep. I can’t believe it, and truthfully I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is this what it’s like to have a baby that sleeps? I’m contemplating sending my friend a huge bouquet of flowers, because this round of sleep training truly changed my life.
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
Yay, so great it worked for you! Sleep, baby, sleep!
guest
Can you please come to my house and try? We are Ferbering/DIYing and I see so much progress, but somehow something derails the whole process. Maybe we’re doing it wrong?
grapefruit / 4997 posts
Wow that sounds amazing! Very inspiring, thanks for the tips.
kiwi / 656 posts
Well done little baby oats! I just wanted to say that as much as I so hope this is it for you, just get all the sleep you can while you can, our sons sleep has changed so much between birth and 16 months, he slept through then he didn’t, then he did, then he didn’t. Illness will come and go, teeth will disturb sleep, separation anxiety might kick in, although I hope so much that this is the beginning of wonderful long night of sleep for you, don’t get too disheartened if it changes,
Also well done sticking to it, sleep training is rough!
guest
What age do you suggest starting this? My baby is just 4 weeks old. She was early and struggled to gain weight so we have been holding her on our chest for sleep- having a strict feeding schedule, it was easier to hold her. She just now started taking short naps in her bassinet but I really want to get to a point where she is sleeping on her own and putting herself back to sleep.
cherry / 108 posts
Waiting anxiously for your nap training post! My baby girl only sleeps 30-45 min (if you’re lucky) in her crib and then wants to be held for the rest of her 2 hour nap! My arms might fall off. Weekends with the toddler home from daycare is rough because the time i could be spending with her, I’m stuck in a room holding her sister! I get a break when my mom or husband hold her but my mom is leaving in a month so I need this little one nap trained ASAP!
How did you deal with being in the room while he was fussing/crying?! I wish I was strong enough to do that!
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
@Chicfro: writing it up tonight/tomorrow! I hear you on the short naps- that was my daughter, but I didn’t have a second kid to worry about! And as far as the crying goes- Mr O got the tough night. My night was about 20min, but it wasn’t constant, and I totally zoned out on my phone to distract me. It was hard, but the hope for sleep made it worth it.
@Lauren: We started at almost 5 months with Baby Oats, but many people think it’s too young. We knew he was ready, and because he’s so big, we knew he was able to go the night without eating
. @Mrs tartan: I am hanging on to every minute! I know there will be regressions and illnesses and I’m dreading it….but enjoying what I have for now!
@Erin: I’m certainly no expert! I’m sure you guys are doing great- every baby has a different temperament! I’ve told so many people that Baby Oats is seriously the easiest baby ever…so I’m sure it was nothing we did, and everything to do with him!
coffee bean / 28 posts
This was great to read! My 2nd is 5 months and does fairly well putting himself to sleep. Unfortunately, he’s not so great at staying asleep and sleeps with a paci and tight swaddle. I hate to make him CIO because he does go to sleep well, but I know he’s going to cry when his supports go away! (We did CIO with my older son around this time because he would scream himself to sleep in our arms anyway.) looking forward to trying this gentler method and hope it works as well for us as it did for you!
pomegranate / 3105 posts
holy. crap. My dr said not to do sleep training until 6 months but you can be sure I’ll be texting you for help when I need to!! I’m super nervous about it, and don’t want to think about it until I have to. I’m also not pumping so I’m sure I’ll be majorly engorged.
grapefruit / 4455 posts
Totally jealous of your sleep, but at 4.5 months I think ds is just too young for prolonged crying, although he’s huge and I think physically he could go longer without eating. We also have a lingering cough (our whole family) so I know that’s probably contributing to the hourly (or more) wakeups..
guest
I used this method with my DS who is now almost 15 months. We started at 4 months and I know the program was to not feed in the middle of the night, I continued to feed as needed. However what I found was that when DS was ready, he dropped the feed on his own. By that time he had learned the skills to get himself back to sleep on his own if he woke up and when he didn’t need the food, he quit requesting it. I’ve LOVED this method. It was a gentle CIO that I felt more comfortable with and (knock-on-wood) DS has been sleeping through the night (7:30-7am) since 9 months.
blogger / kiwi / 588 posts
Congrats on a successful sleep training! We did CIO with checks on DS when he was around 5 months. With DD because she has always been on the smaller side and because she has been able to extend her sleep on her own, we’ve hesitated to do CIO with her. She is 13 months and wakes-up once a night for a bottle. I’ve thought about sleep training her, but I just don’t know when!
pomegranate / 3601 posts
This totally worked with my 13m old too! Thank you for the inspiration. I’m no fan of letting my kids CIO unattended so this method was perfect. It took one night (about 1-1.5h) of me sitting in her room (first next to her bed and later I moved to a chair across the room) and I kept repeating my “sleep tight, sweet dreams” mantra and since then she has STTN (it’s been 5 days now!). So thank you for taking the time to write this up!
guest
I really like the sound of this method. Is there a name for it so I can do some more research before jumping in?
Thanks
guest
@ Megan
Check out The Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman. I am not sure if this is the exact method the author used, but it sounds very similar to that program, which is what I used.
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
@babycanuck: the engorgement was REAL the first few nights. I pump now before I go to bed, because I’m back to work one day a week and need to build up a stash so that helps.
@Lauren: Yes! Every baby is different, and if I thought Baby Oats still needed/really wanted to eat in the MOTN, I’d keep one wake up.
@Pumuckl: So glad!! Hooray for sleep!
@Megan: I wasn’t given a name, but the sleep consultant my friend hired was from WeeSleep.ca. She’s local to us, but I think her training is all online. Good luck!
guest
Do you use a pacifier at all during the day? Or did you have to toss it altogether? I’ve got a 5 month old screamer! Our soother keeps me sane during awake time too – I’m not sure I can toss it!
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
@Barbara- yes, we keep the pacifier during the day! He isn’t super attached to it, but likes it in his car seat. It’s a Wubbanub with a frog on it, so I think he likes the frog as much as the pacifier. Since writing this post, we’ve started giving him the paci to snuggle/chew on as he falls asleep. It hasn’t set back anything, though if your baby is super attached, it might hinder the self soothing process a little at night!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
@Mrs. Oatmeal: is Baby Oats still STTN? I’m gearing up to sleep train Baby P and trying to decide between this and Ferber.
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
@Mrs. Pickle: we had an awful regression at 9 months- sleep SUCKED. But the last week has been better, and he STTN from 7-7 last night. Amazing! Good luck with sleep training- it might come down to R’s personality. We used Ferber with K, and this method now!