Hellobee

Mr. Cereal and I were not trying to get pregnant with Little Bug, but we were not preventing either. We had had a few talks about how we were not going to “try” but that if something happened, we would both be happy. And lo and behold, when LeLe was 9 months old, I found out I was pregnant with Little Bug. We had struggled a bit getting pregnant with LeLe so we were both pretty shocked that it happened so quickly and so easily.

When I found out I was pregnant with Little Bug, I was excited, but I was also really sad for LeLe. She was still such a baby herself and I was pretty upset that I was going to disrupt her happy little life by introducing a new person into the mix. I was terrified that she would feel left out or abandoned. In hindsight, this was probably a mix of raging pregnancy hormones and just plain uncertainty, but at the time, I was consumed by the fear and sadness I had caused.

I worried throughout my entire pregnancy that LeLe would be upset. There was so much fear of the unknown that I would work myself up and was almost on the verge of panic attacks. We tried to prepare her a little by talking about brother and we had a couple of books that discussed a new baby. We both tried to make Little Bug’s arrival an exciting thing rather than a scary or sad thing. Honestly I was probably trying to prepare myself just as much as I was trying to prepare LeLe.

I distinctly remember being incredibly calm the day I went into labor. LeLe and I took a nap together in the afternoon and I took a few photos of her, which I am so grateful for. She looks so little in these photos, still like a baby. I cried when Mr. Cereal took her to my parents’ car the night we went to the hospital. It was partly because I was so apprehensive about her sleeping without me for the first time, and partly because I was about to completely change her life.

When she came to the hospital the next day to meet Little Bug, she was so excited and happy. She immediately kissed him and wanted to hold him. It was the complete opposite reaction I was expecting and a huge weight immediately lifted. I was expecting the worst and the reality was so far from that.

They are 17 months apart and their relationship has not changed much since then. Quite simply, they adore each other. They are best friends. No one can make Little Bug laugh like LeLe can, and no one can make LeLe squeal with happiness the way Little Bug can. I realize now my apprehension was way more about me and I underestimated how happy it would make LeLe to have a companion. The first thing that LeLe does in the morning is ask for her brother, and Little Bug spends much of his time during the day figuring out ways to be wherever LeLe is. Mr Cereal and I often joke that they are in cahoots and they do a lot of their plotting when we aren’t looking. I’ve never seen a relationship quite like the two of them. I really think the transition was so easy for us because LeLe was so young when Little Bug was born that she doesn’t remember life without him.

Kisses for each other.

I’m happy that they love each other. It relieves a lot of the guilt I had during the pregnancy. I am excited to see the two of them grow together. They are clearly happiest with each other and the close age gap means that they are experiencing developmental stages fairly close together. Little Bug seems to pick up things quicker than LeLe did, and I really think that this is because he has a constant example running around. I’m amazed at how much they teach each other and how much LeLe takes an interest in Little Bugs learning. I catch her “reading” to him and showing him things all the time.

All that worry turned out to be for nothing.