Hellobee

How do you all find time to write with infants??

We finished our first week as foster parents yesterday and wow, it’s been a busy week! We’ve introduced T to one set of foster grandparents and great grandparents, had two pediatrician visits, one ultrasound and one trip to UC Davis for a consult with a Pediatric Urologist. T has had many, many short naps, reasonable but not great night sleep, and an easier than expected introduction to the dogs and visits with the goats and chickens. Oh, and he cut his first tooth too! What a week.

Bundled up to visit the goats and chickens. The hand knit romper was my brother’s and I’m so excited to be able to use it!

Here’s an update on how we’re all doing with the basics.

Eating

No problem. Eating is T’s favorite activity. He eats formula from any bottle and with anyone feeding him. He doesn’t care where or when, or what temperature the bottles are. I’m guessing part of this is his personality and part is maybe due to his history. I wonder if he didn’t have regular feedings that he could count on. There’s no way to know for sure. Our only challenge so far has been figuring out what solids, if any, he’s had. It’s all a guessing game, so we played it safe and started with rice cereal. Clearly he’s been eating purees at least. He knows what the spoon is and is able to “help” us feed him if we’re not directing it to his mouth quickly enough. We tried oatmeal cereal today and got the same very positive reaction.

Sleep

Initially we were so excited that we managed to luck out with a great sleeper. I think he was just exhausted after the trauma of being taken by CPS. He does sleep, and we still feel that we got lucky in this area. However, it’s not quite as easy as it seemed. At night he goes down really easily, sometime between 6:30-8. He usually sleeps for at least 3-4 hours before his first wake-up. Each night we’ve had one waking where he needs to be fed. The rest are quicker and usually all it takes to get him back to sleep is replacing his pacifier and patting him on the tummy a few times. He seems to have short sleep cycles that he can’t connect well on his own. This shows up for naps as well. He is the king of 25 minute naps. Occasionally he’ll make it past 25 minutes and reach 45. If he manages to make it past 45 (it’s only happened two times, and both in the car) he’s good for a very long, 2.5-3 hour nap. I know he’s not getting enough sleep during the day, but so far I haven’t been able to figure out a way to help him sleep longer and deeper. It might just take time. I’m sure he’s still trying to figure out what happened to him and why he’s in this strange place where he gets tons of attention.

Motor Delays

The social workers noticed that he had very little leg strength when they took him from his home. He didn’t attempt to put weight on his legs at all and wasn’t able to balance sitting at all. He rolled over well both ways, but was pretty stationary other than that. We noticed it right away too and talked with our case worker about it over the phone. To our delight, with a little encouragement he quickly started putting weight on both legs while we held him in the standing position. He also sits reasonably well now with a bit of support. Surprisingly, he has already started scooting a little bit when he’s on the floor on his blankets. He definitely WANTS to be mobile and works really hard, sometimes only scooting a little bit backwards to get what he wants. He also uses his legs to push off of anything he can to propel himself. From what we can tell, physically he will catch up just fine and end up being a normal, active boy!

Personality

When he came home, T seemed very calm and sweet but a little bit dazed. We don’t know why. It could very well have been just from the trauma of being removed from his home and handed over to these two strangers. There was also a question of drug exposure, so it also could’ve been that. It faded quickly, and over the last week he has developed quite the personality. He is still sweet and happy. He loves attention from just about anyone. He has definitely not hit the shy stage yet. I’m skeptical that he will ever hit it, as he seems to be such an extrovert so far. He tends to want to be a part of the action all the time. I think this makes it extra hard for him to nap.

T loves his bear. He dives in for a snuggle face first while growling.

Bonding

As far as we can tell T is bonding with us in a normal, healthy way. He makes eye contact constantly, especially while feeding. He smiles and babbles at us and absolutely recognizes us and our voices. He has bonded with me quite strongly, as I’ve been the one home with him the whole time so far. Missus Turtle is lucky enough to have a flexible schedule as well, and she has been home quite a bit too.

Health

I will address this further in a later post as I know more about the condition, but T has two issues which combined to cause one kidney to fail. It was diagnosed in a prenatal scan, and hasn’t caused any physical symptoms that we know of. His prognosis is good. At worst, he might need surgery in the future to remove the kidney. Luckily, the other kidney is perfectly fine and has grown bigger to compensate for the bad kidney. He was wheezing really badly when he came, but the doctor said his lungs sounded fine, and the minor upper respiratory infection has resolved on its own. Also, he is teething big time. He was super fussy the other day and I was worried that the rice cereal had given him a tummy ache. But the next morning as he was chewing on my knuckles, I realized that his first tooth had, in fact, broken the surface.

All in all, it’s a wonder T is handling everything so well. It makes me tear up every time I think of the trauma he’s been through in his six months of life. It is incredible to me that he is able to trust us and bond with us at all after all of his upheaval. We are doing our best to give him what he needs right now — a lot of love and care. We are all still getting to know each other, but we are getting along pretty well in the mean time.

The feeling of this little hand on my shoulder makes me melt.