Nannies, nanny-shares, government day care, au pairs – when you live in a large metro area (particularly DC), the options for childcare are endless and choosing is a real, well, choice. When I was heading back to work, we chose a small at-home daycare between our house and the public transit I take to work every day. It was a decision we made very quickly, after only touring one other small daycare, but it has worked out so beautifully that I am often amazed at our luck. We have found countless benefits to Will spending the majority of his days at someone’s home with a small group of other children – many we didn’t know to expect when we first spent time researching child care options. There are, of course, a few drawbacks, which are beginning to be more important to me as time goes on.
I’m at a place where I’m evaluating our experience, and I thought I’d share my reflections with you all, in case your considering a small, at home daycare. Share your thoughts and experiences with me in the comments, too!
Quick Summary of our At-home Daycare
Will spends his days at a home with three caregivers, three other toddlers (he is the oldest, and the age ranges are 13 months to 19 months), a few preschool aged children who hang out part-time/after school only, plus the main caregiver/homeowner’s children, as she homeschools. Her kids are now 3, 8, 11, and 15, I think. Will is incredibly close to the 3 year old girl and 8 year old boy, one of the preschoolers, and views them as older siblings.
Benefits of a Small/ At-home Daycare
1) Strong Personal Relationship from Newborn to Toddler and Beyond – Will has had the same three women caring for him since his very first foray in childcare. Rather than moving from room to room as he has grown and meeting new adults, he has seen the same faces day in and day out for nearly eighteen months. They recognize every new development – from new words and sentences he is forming, to his hair length and new shoes. The bond he has with these women is deep, and he actively gives them hugs and kisses each morning and evening – proof, to me, that he has affection for them.
2) A Second Voice of Reason – Since Will has the same three women in his life, they often spend as much time caring for him as I do, and have suggestions for his development and growth. (Plus, they have YEARS of parenting experience under their belt and between the three of them, raised something like 15 children.) Will’s napping schedules and habits nearly always formed at daycare and passed to us, which was amazing because we learned what they did to form good habits and copied them at home. When I’ve questions or concerns about new occurrences in Will’s behavior or health, their advice has been invaluable.
3) Intimate Group of Friends – Will has a few built in best friends at daycare, and they haven’t changed nearly at all since he began going to his daycare. These kids have become his siblings, and they act as such (if I have to see Will walk in to daycare just to steal another toddler boy nearly exactly his age/height’s toy!). This is likely true of many daycares, I’d think!
4) Learning and Growing from Watching – From this group of friends – many older than him, and few younger – I am 100% convinced that he has learned so many skills that pushed his development. He has had more words than I could have expected at his age, he walked somewhat early, and I’d guess his love of music and tendency to sing are because he mimics the kids he spends time with day in and day out. I also believe he has shown an ability to listen to directions and show kindness because of daycare. I often hear his older preschool friends telling him to ‘go here’ and ‘do this’ and he loves to learn what they mean and follow directions. He sees them be kind to each other – apologize when needed, cover each other with blankets at nap time, and the like – and displays the same behavior.
5) Cost – For us, by far, at home daycare is the most cost effective. Full transparency: we pay $1000/month for all day, year round daycare. Our caregivers take two weeks paid vacation – one week over the winter holidays and another mid summer.
6) Nutrition – As our daycare is part of the national program that provides food to schools, Will has two snacks and lunch covered (plus breakfast, if we’d want it) by daycare. The best part is that lunch is always homemade – and often, we’re told, Will steals his second family’s personal food, which is usually a yummy Thai or Filipino dish. Snacks are usually fruit, yoghurt and crackers. Unsurprisingly, Will LOVES rice dishes, food with lots of flavor (kid won’t eat chicken unless it’s basically covered in some kind of spice!), and fruit.
7) Flexibility – Despite having firm opening/closing hours, we’ve had the ability to bring Will early the few times it’s been absolutely necessary, and when I’m running late, I’m not given any grief.
8) A Second Family 0 No three people know Will’s temperament, personality, and areas for growth (besides Mr. Milk and I – though sometimes, they know even better!). We’ve been lucky enough to spend time together with Will’s second family on weekends, at birthday parties, social gatherings and the like.
Will practicing his standing and walking in early days, outside with his daycare family.
Drawbacks of a Small/ At-home Daycare:
1) Verbal Information – Of course, no situation is perfect. One of the more frustrating aspects of our at home daycare is the lack of physical/written reports at the end of each day. During Will’s first year, they kept a diligent hourly record of naps, eating and pooping, but there is no standard ‘Daily Record’ sheet with anecdotes, notes about how time was spent or how he ate or slept. Mr. M and I typically ask how the day was and get some information about how he ate and slept, but nothing beyond that. Sometimes I wish I had something that more formally captured his daily routines and deviances from them.
As a side note to this, there is also no streaming video or the like, as some care places offer. Sometimes I’d love to be able to quickly check in to see how Will is on my lunch hour.
2) Shorter Hours – While some at home daycares have more traditional hours (7 AM to 6 PM, say), our daycare’s hours are 8AM-5PM. This makes work tricky, since my commute is 75 minutes and subject to public transit delays. The flexibility makes this doable, but because it’s someone’s home, and not a larger place with shifts/hours, the times are more stringent and specific.
3) Social Opportunities – As much as I love the consistency in Will’s caregivers, part of the value of a larger center where children meet new caregivers each year or so is that they learn to adjust, grow, adapt to new people. That’s definitely a reason to enjoy larger care centers, or varying up nannies every few years!
So, what are your thoughts? What do you love and not so love about your childcare situation?
squash / 13208 posts
$1K a year???
or did you mean per month?
blogger / apricot / 310 posts
@Mamaof2: Ha! I definitely meant “$1000 per month for all day, year round”. I’ll follow up to get that clarified. Thanks!
cherry / 187 posts
I live in the DC area as well and we chose an in home daycare for our 1st. It was definitely the most cost effective and we had a fabulous experience overall. My oldest definitely needed the nurturing from a smaller environment.
For our second, we moved both girls to a larger daycare center. We were struggling with the hours available for in home daycare which were shorter and juggling the times when our caretaker was sick or went on vacation or had personal appts. It was too much for us to balance. We’ve been very happy at the center we chose and there’s the family aspect there as well (even if they move rooms or teachers, those teachers greet them every day and pitch in so the girls’ “family” just gets bigger and bigger). It’s been a huge relief to be able to lengthen our hours if we need to. They also offer additional activities (such as ballet, soccer skills, languages, etc.) that my oldest never had access to at such a young age. That said, I’m glad we handled it the way we did for each child. It ended up being the best situation for each baby (baby #2 is hugely social so the bigger environment is GREAT for her).
apricot / 317 posts
I;m so glad that you have such a wonderful family-run center near you! We tried an in-home daycare near us for several months when DS1 was young, and had hoped for manay of the positives that you mentioned! Unfortunately, we had a terrible experience. So terrible, in fact, that I immediately transferred my LO to a regular daycare/preschool. We have now been there 3 years, and love it! All of my foster children have attended there and we feel very fortunate to find a daycare with such transparency and with such great teachers.
blogger / apricot / 310 posts
@tipperella: this is so great to hear! we actually may be moving to the Northern Virginia area and therefore may have to leave our sweet daycare (heartsick!) If you have any suggestions -whether your in that area or use of the larger chains of centers in our area like horizons, etc – I’d love to hear them!
@tlynne: your experience gives me great relief that we’ll find a larger center that does all of the things you mention! thank you!
cherry / 187 posts
@mrsmilk Happy to help! I’m in the Reston/Sterling area so can give you the lowdown on the centers in those areas if that is where you may end up moving!
guest
We put our girl in a standard daycare since she was 15 weeks old. It has been great with the hours, getting to know new people & friends etc. She’s far more social and outgoing than I imagined.
We are ‘upgrading’ her to a fancier daycare closer to home when she turns 2 as they have a stop open for her. The new daycare will be a slight step up in social, development, & nutrition. They will practice sign language (something we have taught at home since birth but nobody at daycare understands her signs now! #sofrustrating) and Spanish, along with music & dance. They also have a better system for potty training and a better outside area. Plus the 2 year olds and older participate in family style meals in the dining room. There is nothing wrong with her current one but I’m excited for her to get to go to the slightly nicer one this fall.
nectarine / 2148 posts
Our DS is in an in-home daycare provider and definitely think it is a great option. I think the benefits are really amazing. In regards to your negative comments, I have actually heard from friends that use them that the ‘reports’ they get are often not accurate and are just templates that are re-printed. So while it seems nice, the information may honestly not be accurate either. There really is no win in my opinion. The social opportunities I think is better at an in-home daycare. I prefer that LO is mixed with other kids at different ages. He is not kept will only infants who can’t interact or play with him. Plus, he learns sooo much from watching older kids. Also, even though he does not see a rotation of teachers, he does see a rotation of kids, which I think amounts to the same. I think it is actually more beneficial to have the same caregivers then to have them switched, but that may be just personal preference. The hours thing I completely get. We are lucky that our daycare is super super flexible. She does not have set hours and we can drop off and pick up whenever. Which is great since DH and I work long hours.
Overall I think it sounds like you have a great daycare for the price! We pay something similar and while I do think it would be nice to have cameras, usually that comes at a cost.
grapefruit / 4717 posts
We loved our in-home small daycare — it was a 3-min. drive from our house, and they only speak Spanish, which was a huge plus for us (I can speak Spanish, so it worked out fine). After 2 years old, they also incorporate activities typically found in a preschool. He is well ahead of his preschool peers, and I think that’s because of having so much individual attention. We kept him there until after 3, though probably would have moved him a bit sooner if we hadn’t had trouble getting him into the school we wanted. We liked it so much, there’s no question we’ll be sending baby #2 there as well.
clementine / 750 posts
I’m in the DC area as well, Northern Virginia, and we have used two different home daycares and loved both. We only left our first home daycare because Our provider was giving it up to retire and her husband wanted to downsize to a smaller house, so her daughter was unable to take over the business. Our second home daycare is right in our neighborhood and the thing I most like is that my 7 month old and three year old are together in the same place. In-home has been much more affordable than the local centers. The one drawback I see is my third year old is the oldest in her daycare, there is one child six months younger and the owners 4 year old twins are there part of the day. They go to public pre-K.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
The cost was what made my decision so difficult too! In the end I went with a center; I just felt better with all the protocols, policies, on staff nurse, etc in place. But I def would never write off an in-home! It’s totally still on the table esp since we’ll be working with a smaller income in the near future so we can possibly switch.
cherry / 120 posts
We’re in NOVA, and just switched from a center which we actually liked, there were just a few things that bothered us (naps and illness) to a nanny share, and I think the nanny share is really working out well! I did look at a few in homes close to us and I just didn’t feel as comfortable with them as I did a center.
guest
Hi Mrs. Milk! I to live in the District and we are looking at in home day care, starting in July for a 7 month old, but we have not found anywhere near close to $1,000/month (or including meals!). Any tips to locating a good in home daycare?? Many thanks!!
cherry / 175 posts
I feel like I’ve used every daycare option available and honestly each was exactly what was needed at that time!
KID #1 was home with me for 7 months while I worked part time at home. (After my 12 week maternity leave!)
I took a new job when he was 7 months old and needed full time care. This time I choose a larger ‘official’ care center. There were 6 classes (Nursery, Waddler, Toddler, 2’s, 3’s, pre-k). I enjoyed the experience. He had WONDERFUL caregivers. Bonus – it was right across the street from my office so I could walk over and nurse everyday at lunchtime! Plus being able to spend those 30 minutes a day in his class allowed me to get to know his teachers and the other nursery kids. NOTE: I have many other friends who use this center and after we left I heard there was TONS of constant teacher turnover – we didn’t experience that and I am still friends with 3 of his teachers and keep in touch with them.
KID #2 With the arrival of #2 I wasn’t comfortable having her in a large nursery setting, maybe because I was able to keep #1 at home. I switched to an in home nanny. I worried a bit about taking my just 2 year old out of the ‘learning’ environment he was in because he was just getting old enough to really have fun with other kids. BUT we scored an AMAZING nanny with a childhood education background who did lots of arts and crafts and fun stuff with him. Again – we are still good friends with her too!
When my youngest was 9 months my nanny decided she wanted to get back into teaching full time so again we had to switch. Our original daycare did not have openings.. I still hadn’t been able to get my oldest in the Montessori or University Learning Lab I wanted him in. SO…. what we found via a co-worker was a young girl who was watching kids in her home and working to open a small daycare at her church. My kids with her 3rd and 4th she watched in her home. Of the other two one was a boy just 2 weeks younger than my oldest and the other boy was in between my two. They were in her home for about 4-5 months until they moved to the room at her church. At the point she added more children and two assistants. Some days there were 4 kids – at the most they had 12. In the summer there two school aged boys she would watch who my son ADORED! This was my favorite arrangement and my kids were there for 2.5 years until we moved! I LOVE LOVE LOVE that my two kids were together every single day, even though they are two years apart. Their relationship is amazing! I love with the multiple ages they are able to teach and learn from each other and take on different responsibility roles. I loved the relationships I built with the caregivers. We ALL cried on our last day. I love the friendship my son has with that boy that was only 2 weeks younger than him. Though we’ve moved across the country they face time and share kindergarten stories! My kids both love babies – I really love they had the opportunity to interact with the babies that were there too. It was wonderful. I was WAY ok that it wasn’t a structured daycare/preschool because they were able to play and explore and just have fun! She did work with the older kids everyday on numbers and letters but it was fun! My son started kindergarten days shy of turning 5 and was right were he need to be.
We moved across the county and my son started kindergarten and my 3 year old is now in Montesorri. She goes everyday from 8:30-2:30 so I am able to work and this is a great fit to.
I guess all this to say – there isn’t even a ‘right’ fit for one family. It’s ok to change things up and as life goes through phases so does your needs for childcare!
Yes it can be exhausting to change things up because you are always trying to ‘get it right’ and making decisions is hard. But for us each situation has been a blessing!
blogger / apricot / 310 posts
@tipperella: Thank you! We’re looking at Alexandria/Arlington/Falls Church currently but I’ll keep you posted!
@Robin: your point about more formal education/social interactions hits home. thanks for sharing!
@Eko: These are great additions and thoughts! You’re so right, too – often the daily reports seem perfunctory. Great perspective for me to remember, thank you!
@pregnantbee: Your point about individual attention is a good one! I definitely think my kiddo has benefited from people who know him so well, and it’s good to see that it could translate to formal learning in coming months and years!
@kayakgirl73: Will is also the oldest of his ‘pack’ and it’s been tricky. Right now he has the most words and has transitioned to toddler phase quickly (he’s started stealing kids’ toys/pushing, which the others aren’t doing yet and it makes me feel TERRIBLE). If you’re open to sharing, I’d love to hear about the new place you love – we’re looking to transition from MD to NoVa and need help finding a great place for Will!
@snowjewelz: Oh, the protocols is such a good point. The larger centers have routine, and really seem to use structure to create safe spaces for kids.
@GreeneB2: Oh, good to hear! Are you finding the nanny share comparable price-wise to the larger center (sorry, personal question! No need to answer. :))
@babycrz: You have no idea how much I needed this kind of comment! As we’re looking to move in coming months, I’m feeling so heartsick/torn/wrenched about Will losing this situation. Your thoughts refocused me on the fact that each setting has unique, powerful positives and I should consider what I think would best benefit Will moving forward. (I also would LOVE to get him to a Montessori daycare that also does pre-k/3/4 formal programming but those wait lists are so dang long!) THANK YOU for this!
pear / 1503 posts
Very timely post (for us)! I have been interviewing in-home daycares all week. The two centres that I really like aren’t available until this summer/fall. We are going with an agency that provides oversight to in-home daycares; the agency places kids there, does the advertising, handles the financials, does inspections, provides activity packages and craft packages. So you get the benefit of a centre, with the homeliness, warmth, and low-ratio of an in-home. I was really impressed with one of the childcare providers we saw yesterday, and LO had a lot of fun with the other kids (all between the ages of 2 and 4, he’s 11 mo). The girls were actually bringing blocks over to place in his lap for him to play with, and the provider was really sweet with him. So I’m happy to see that other bees enjoy the in-home experience.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
DS attends an in-home daycare also. Like you said, he’s extremely familiar with the teachers and kids there since there’s not much change, which is also a slight downfall. However, I love the personal level of attention he receives, and the cost definitely helps too!
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
I’m in Falls Church (on the Alexandria border) and we have a great center daycare I’m happy to recommend (that isn’t stupid expensive). We did a home daycare for the first 2 years and loved it but the provider didn’t tailor well to older kids so we moved to the center we’re at now right after she turned 2. Let me know if you want to chat!
guest
We’ve been in two different in home daycares in NoVA. The first one actually kicked us out to make room for another child’s sibling (but lied to us and told us it was b/c she was having health problems), so we worry about what else she lied to us about and were happy to leave. The second one, my almost 3 year old is in now and we love, love, love her. So much so that my new baby will be starting in September. That said, I think an in home is less valuable after the age of 2 or 3, so my older child will be starting preschool this fall.
clementine / 750 posts
Mrs. Milk, My in-home is in Fairfax City off of Route 50, not too far from Fairfax Circle. Pm me if you want more information.