Hellobee

The more entrenched we become in the toddlerhood phase, the more I am able to recognize how vitally important it is to incorporate choices into each and every part of Jackson’s day.

Every time I get in a rush and forget to give him a little bit of control, the tantrums and screaming start pretty quickly. It’s hard to remember sometimes, but toddlers don’t have much actual control at all over their day and what it looks like, so the more you can give them the reins and let them feel in charge of their day, the happier they’ll be!

At first, I found it pretty challenging to come up with different areas of Jackson’s day that I could incorporate choice, but I’ve worked really hard over the last few months to allow choices in every area of his day, and now I find it has become second nature to pause and ask him his opinion on what we’re doing in all of our little routines.

Here are some ideas for choices that you can offer your toddler on a daily basis that are low-cost to you (meaning, it really shouldn’t make a difference either way what they choose!) but high-value to them!

G E T T I N G   D R E S S E D

• Offer choice of shirts/pants
• Offer choice of shoes
• Ask what article of clothing they want to put on first, second, etc.
• Ask if they want to take clothes off/put them on, or if they want you to
• Ask where they want to get dressed (changing table vs. floor, their room vs. your room)

M E A L   T I M E  &  S N A C K  T I M E

• Offer a choice of what plate, cup, etc. they will use
• Ask what kind of silverware they want to use
• Offer a choice between certain meal items (milk vs. water, what sides they’ll eat)
• Allow them to choose where on the plate you should put each food item
• Allow them to choose which seat they sit in at the table (or, we’ll often offer learning tower vs. table if it’s not a family meal time)

T R A N S I T I O N S 

• Ask if they want to walk or be carried to the next activity (or run, or crawl, or dance…the list goes on!)
• If clean-up is necessary, allow a choice of what they clean up first, second, etc.
• Allow them to choose a song to listen to during the transition
• If possible, offer a choice of what activity to do next (“playtime is done, but you can choose snack or reading next”)
• If it’s particularly challenging to leave their toys, you can allow them to choose one toy to bring with you to the new activity (this works wonders for us!)

B A T H   T I M E

• Offer a choice of toys to bathe with
• Offer choice of bubbles, colored bath tablets, or plain bath (we love the color tablets!)
• Ask what body parts you should clean first, second, etc.
• If they’re a little more independent, you can ask if they want you to clean them or if they want to try to do it themselves
• Offer a bath or shower (sometimes toddlers love showers!)

B E D T I ME  /  N A P T I M E

• Allow them to choose which pajamas to wear
• Allow them to choose order of events (“pajamas first or books first?”)
• Offer a choice of books to read
• Offer a choice of songs to sing
• Allow them to choose what toys, blankets, etc. they want to sleep with

.  .  .  .  .

With a little bit of practice, it can be really easy to come up with quick and simple choices that you can offer your toddler to increase independence, decrease tantrums, and make everyone’s life easier. Keep it simple (we usually just stick to two choices) and make sure that whatever you offer is something you’re willing to follow through on, and you’ll be amazed at how much of a difference it can make!

What are some ways you offer your child choices in their day?