One of the joys of having two children is watching their bond grow over time. I believe it’s so important to help foster a good relationship between siblings right from the start. I haven’t had to deal with much conflict between the girls just yet because Baby Pizza is 10 months old and only in recent months became much more vocal and opinionated. Still, creating positive interactions early on can only help the relationship to grow beautifully. Here are some things that have been helpful for us so far!
Avoid frustrating situations before they arise.
Baby Pizza is often found playing with toys that are inappropriate for her, like Lil’ Pizza’s Magnatiles. Before Baby Pizza gets too engrossed in something that Lil’ Pizza is playing with (and can easily destroy), I will ask Lil’ Pizza to help me find toys for her little sister. She likes that she knows how to select good and appropriate toys for Baby Pizza.
Lil’ Pizza was so proud of all the toys she found to surround Baby Pizza.
Allow opportunities for bonding to happen naturally.
Lil’ Pizza has enjoyed singing to Baby Pizza before I put her down in the crib. It doesn’t always work in my favor because Baby Pizza often gets too excited when Lil’ Pizza is in the room. However, when Lil’ Pizza initiates something that she wants to do for Baby Pizza, I try to allow for such moments to happen and then praise her for being the best sister.
Try not to blame the baby.
If I am out with the girls and want to go home soon to nap Baby Pizza, I will phrase it in a way that doesn’t sound like I am putting the blame on Baby Pizza. Instead of saying something like, “Baby Pizza is getting tired and we need to go home for her to nap,” I will instead say, “Lil’ Pizza, it’s time for us to get going so that I can start making lunch.” I don’t want Lil’ Pizza to resent Baby Pizza and think she is the one taking away Lil’ Pizza’s fun. At the same time, there are situations where I want them to understand that they need to stop what they are doing because of the other sibling (this goes both ways).
Have them enjoy a shared activity.
It’s nice to engage in activities that a 10 month old and a 3 year old can enjoy together! The other day, they had a lot of fun riding on swings at the same time. Baby Pizza and Lil’ Pizza enjoy their time together hearing stories, rolling around, playing in the pretend kitchen, and playing hide and seek (with a bit of help from me of course).
Big Pizza requested that they be mermaids together | Baby Pizza loved going down the slide with her big sister.
Talk about how much the baby loves and admires their older sibling.
Lil’ Pizza is always asking what Baby Pizza is thinking. She will ask me what Baby Pizza is thinking after she gives her a toy to play with or if we had to take a toy away from her. Lil’ Pizza actually asks me this question about almost everyone she knows, but when she is asking me about Baby Pizza, I always say something along the lines of how much Baby Pizza loves Lil’ Pizza or how she feels lucky to have such an awesome sister. Lil’ Pizza often then stands proudly with a huge grin. She loves being a big sister to Baby Pizza!
Talk about the ways they are great siblings to each other.
I try to praise Lil’ Pizza for being an awesome sister when she is being extra sweet to Baby Pizza. Today, Lil’ Pizza started to feed Baby Pizza some puff snacks to stop her from crying. Even Baby Pizza likes to initiate sweet moments with her sister like laying down really close to her sister.
What are some ways that you have helped to foster a positive relationship between siblings?
hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts
I try to let the natural moments happen too. The other day my 2.5 year old and 12 month old were rolling around on the floor and giggling. It was so sweet. I was worried that they were going to hurt each other but I let it go and it was a really sweet moment! I’ll try harder to find ways to not “blame” the baby for things. I love seeing my girls bond.
guest
This is great advice! I am wowed at your parenting skills. You think of things I have never thought about before. Amazing mom…just so amazing!
guest
You’re such a wonderful mom. You’re inspiring and the sibling bond you’re helping grow is priceless
pea / 15 posts
Such a sweet post! There’s nothing quite like a sibling bond. Such great ideas to strengthen their relationship so early on!!
guest
Great advice and your girls are adorable! This is a random question but where is your rug from and how do you keep it so white/clean with your Pizzas? Hahaha.
cherry / 108 posts
Thanks for the post. Most of the time, I feel like I’m failing at this as I find myself 90% of the time trying to make sure my almost 3 yr old doesn’t hurt her little 5 month old sister! I’m trying to balance it out with more positive moments and saying more positive things like (“look the baby is smiling at you! she likes you!”) and I try and have my toddler kiss the baby’s head goodnight every night so at least we end on a good note. It’s tough with an active toddler that doesn’t want to listen (hello early “threenager”!) and a small baby. I’ll be thinking of your post when those stressful moments come up! Great post.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
The rephrasing of the “try not to blame the baby” part is great advice!! I do the last two points all the time too – I think it really makes a difference to let them know how good they are for one another!
blogger / apricot / 431 posts
@Mrs. Sunshine: When my girls start rolling around together, I get so nervous too! I can’t wait to see them growing up together and hope for a great bond always!
blogger / apricot / 431 posts
S: It’s from Overstock.com! There are so many though with the same style. I just made sure to look at the reviews and get one that didn’t shed (the wool ones shed). I seriously have no idea how I keep it clean because we are always on it and it’s so close to where we eat. I did buy the Folex carpet cleaner spot spray which I think works pretty well for stains that immediately occur.
blogger / apricot / 431 posts
@Chicfro: That sounds really hard when you have a very active child. My friend had a similar situation and I think she just had to press through some of the earlier months…but it did get better! You are doing great!
blogger / apricot / 367 posts
Love love love the special bond between sisters!! And can’t believe how big the girls are getting!
blogger / kiwi / 588 posts
Yes! DS is 3 and DD is almost 18 months and while it is difficult sometimes fostering a good relationship, this weekend they started holding hands while in their car seats – cutest thing ever! It really is those little things that they do for each other that prove their relationship is a positive work in progress.