As Jackson gets older, it can be hard for me to remember that I need to back off a bit and start letting him do things for himself. Over the last two years I’ve gotten into such a habit of doing everything for him, and now I’m having to reprogram my brain and learn that he’s able to do a lot of these things for himself now. It’s helpful to both me and him if I let him practice his independence and do some things without help, and it makes him really happy, too!

IMG_9268

I’ve been working over the last few weeks on paying attention to the specific activities where I’m most tempted to jump in and help Jackson – and trying to sort out which ones he actually needs help on versus things that I’m providing unnecessary help on. Jackson’s daycare teacher often jokingly refers to him as Mr. Independent because he’s so insistent on doing things for himself, so there’s no reason for me not to be working to foster that and help him do things more independently! Here are seven things that I’m working on NOT doing for my toddler anymore:

1) Opening his food packets. It’s so easy to get in the habit of quickly opening yogurt and snack pouches for our kids to make things move more quickly, but that’s great fine motor and hand strengthening practice for them! Plus, how much easier would it be on you if your toddler could open their own food?

2) Putting him in the car. I know it’s hard. I know it’s so slow to let them climb in. But not only are they building up independence when they’re allowed to climb up in the car by themselves, they’re also getting some great exercise and working some muscles they may not work at other times of the day!

ADVERTISEMENT
3) Getting him dressed or undressed. It takes forever if I let Jackson try to put his own clothes on, but the look of pride on his face when he manages to put his own pants on is worth any amount of time! He’s still definitely learning this skill, but the more I encourage it and let him practice it, the better he gets!

4) Choosing snacks for him. This goes for clothes, books, etc. etc. etc. Toddlers love being in control. Encourage it!

5) Cleaning up after meal time. I’m still working on remembering to do this every night, but most nights Jackson takes his plate into the kitchen, dumps any crumbs or extra food into the trash, and puts his plate in the sink. Once we manage to get in the habit of doing this nightly, we’ll work on expanding it into helping with other cleanup duties – I want him to learn from the very beginning that everyone in the house helps keep it clean!

6) Cleaning his room. Now that I’ve started to pay more attention and slow down a bit, Jackson cleans up his room himself unless I need it done really quickly. He knows where everything goes (including things like diaper cream, extra blankets, and all of his clothes), and with just minor help he’s able to clean his own room while I sit back and watch. Score!

Mr. Independent wouldn’t even let me help him with the crawfish! 

The bottom line is that toddlers are learning how to assert their independence, and if you don’t encourage it in ways that are appropriate and address important skills, they’ll find other ways to express themselves – like in the middle of the grocery store when everyone is staring at you. Of course, working on independence in appropriate ways won’t completely eliminate stuff like that, but it helps! And every time we avoid a meltdown in the cereal aisle of Target it’s considered a win, right?

What are some things you need to stop doing for your toddler?