Baby Star Light has been home now for a week. As I’m sure most of you can relate, it has been a whirlwind. Here are the top surprises – both negative and positive – that I’ve personally experienced over the past seven days.
Let’s start with the bad; I’ll call them dim Star Light moments!
– Most difficult for me, and certainly most surprising, has been the challenging road to recovery. When we were told at the very end of the pregnancy that Baby Star Light was small and were warned that she might need to be admitted to the NICU immediately upon delivery, all of our worries and concerns went to her. We never considered that all of the post-delivery complications would instead be with me! I am generally a healthy person, and I can honestly say that I have never felt worse in my life than I have felt over the past week. Every day it feels like I take two steps forward but one giant step back. With portions of the placenta still stuck in my body, we were warned to watch out for increased bleeding and signs of infection. While the bleeding has remained under control, I seem to have developed an infection that results in horrible spikes in aches and pain and chills about 1-2 times a day. Yesterday, an emergency run to the doctor resulted in the introduction of yet another antibiotic to my medication routine. We are so hopeful that this will improve things on my end, and fast.
Photo credited to James Currie.
– Another big challenge has been breastfeeding. Because of all of the medications that my doctor had to put me on for my own recovery, I had to switch from breastfeeding to pumping starting on day two because of all of the requirements to “pump and dump.” I have been diligently pumping, and have been lucky that I’ve had no major complications (save for a frustrating incident this afternoon where I lost half my pumping production due to my failure to get a tight seal with one of the breast shields!). But I have to majorly salute all of you devoted mothers who exclusively breastfeed. Every single time I turn on the pump, I wince with those first few tugs. It hurts! And in the beginning, it is so discouraging. I would pump and pump, and when only a tiny little bit of colostrum came out, I felt completely defeated. I’m glad I soldiered on, but I’ll be honest that I’m still struggling with this.
– And for my final point on dim Star Light moments, let’s talk about sweating. Holy cannoli, I have never sweated so much in my life! I wake up these nights and my sheets are usually soaked right through. It’s been so bad that a couple of times I’ve had to move to a different bed in the house because my bedding is so wet. This was also something that I had heard about from others, but never really appreciated until I had to change my pajamas twice a night!
Photo credited to James Currie.
While the first week has certainly had its share of setbacks, there have also been a bunch of highlights. I’ll call these bright Star Light moments.
– I am honestly completely torn in deciding if Mr. Starfish or Baby Star Light has been the biggest highlight. Thinking about both of them over the past week brings me to tears immediately. From the moment we walked into the delivery room, Mr. Starfish has been my rock and my anchor. He has supported me through every last setback, every single tear shed, every gross and icky thing that my body has presented to us. He is an amazing partner and I am so grateful to have him. He has taken on way more baby care than either of us ever expected due to my own setbacks, but he has done it with joy and patience. He is kind and devoted and strong. I am so proud of how we have handled the first week of parenthood, and I give most of the credit to him.
– Now on to Baby Star Light. Oh my goodness, she is just about as perfect a baby as we could ask for! She is showing a reserved and quiet personality like her mom, but she looks mostly like her dad. She is a very well-behaved baby, rarely fussy and sleeping for nice stretches of time. She is eating like a little piggy, which we are thrilled about since she was so small upon delivery, and she is taking her assignment to eat and sleep and grow very seriously. She has gotten nothing but good and healthy progress reports at her pediatrician check-ups. She is sweet and loves to snuggle, but also a big mover and we can rarely keep her in a swaddle with all of her movements.
– The unconditional help that we have received through family and friends has also been a huge positive. From friends who texted short words of support and understanding, to both of our mothers who stayed with us and selflessly took on partial night shift duty so that I could get some sleep to aid my recovery – I can’t even begin to explain how loved and cared for we feel through all of these actions. And to think that all they want in return is a snuggle with Baby Star Light or a cute picture – it’s amazing! While a few of our friends had recommended saving the first few days home from the hospital without visitors or helpers, I could never suggest that myself. Having our mothers here truly saved us, and I’m not sure we could have done it without them.
– My last pleasant surprise is completely vain, and it is that my body is returning to its normal look much quicker than I expected. I dropped 20 pounds in 10 days and am only about 13 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight, and my stomach is relatively flat. With the engorged boobs, I look in the mirror and feel pretty good about things these days! Maybe it’s all the sickness, the infection, or maybe just good luck, but it’s certainly been a welcome surprise.
. . . . .
Tallying everything up over the past week, I just can’t bring myself to say that the good outweighed the bad. That just feels too trite to me, and the bad has been too bad to make that an honest statement. But what I can say is that the first week home has been a major roller-coaster, filled with the highest highs of my life and the lowest of lows. It’s true that they say you can’t understand the first few days home with baby until you’ve lived it. While I can’t bring myself to say it’s been a fully positive experience, I can definitely say that it’s been an experience that I’m grateful to have had. It’s nice to be a member of the new mommy club, and here’s to more highs and lows to come!
nectarine / 2317 posts
Not to burst your bubble but be aware the weight loss can be temporary. I was pretty excited I returned to my pre-pregnancy weight about a week after delivery too.. then the hunger from breastfeeding, the sleep deprivation kicked in and i’m still hovering 15lbs over it a year out.
But this isn’t the case for everyone…
guest
Have you seen a lactation consultant to talk about pumping? I’ve always been told pumping shouldn’t hurt (and it never did for me). An LC can confirm you have the right flange size.
guest
From my experience the first two months are really tough. The baby wakes up every couple of hours to eat, you are going through sweats and all kinds of crazy hormone things, your boobs hurt and you are just tired. But after about 8 weeks, both of our babies gave us longer stretches at night (my husband was really good at making me go to bed with the baby, getting it dark and quiet and setting up a good nighttime routine early for both me and the baby) and the baby starts smiling and interacting more which is a huge reward. You have had it extra tough with your post delivery complications. Hang in there, take care of yourself and you’ll get through it. I agree that it is great to have friends and family visit in the early days. I think that’s a personal thing for everyone but I couldn’t imagine doing the early days without help from family!
As for breastfeeding, I agree with the previous commenter that it shouldn’t hurt. Find a lactation consultant (I’d recommend mine but she’s in the ‘burbs!) and that can make a world of difference. As long as Baby Star Light is happy and full of whatever (breast milk or formula), you are doing a good job!
Just know it all goes by so quickly and try to enjoy as much of it as you can. Any keep letting people help you! That’s the hardest part sometimes!
kiwi / 549 posts
I’ve also been amazed at how quickly my body bounced back. With my son, I was at pre-pregnancy weight within 2 months, same with DD. (Not that my hips or pants size were back to normal– the hips permanently widened even if the weight was not permanent.) I can relate in that both pregnancies were high risk, and my last recovery was quite bumpy (infections, c-section incision opening…). DD has been colicky too. So I think of my body bouncing back easily is God throwing me a bone. And, despite what a PP said, because of breastfeeding and daily 3-5 mile walks/runs, I was 15lbs below pre-pregnancy weight at 6 months. The weight didn’t get back up to my “normal” until I stopped breastfeeding.
guest
I’m going to disagree with the 2 posters above. Your nipples aren’t used to the sensation of pumping and so just like there is a few month learning curve for breastfeeding id say it exists with pumping as well. That and you stated it was the first few tugs, so yeah your boobs are getting used to the sensation and they’ll figure it out. With my first son we were breastfeeding and I was in pain starting a session until 14-15 weeks, with my daughter it was fine immediately. I think each child and pump changes that outcome.
I would just hate for a comment or make you feel that something must be wrong when it sounds to me like you are doing an amazing job and even trying to keep up with pumping while worrying about your own health is amazing! You rock momma!
guest
I just wanted to say that you should try to be really patient about your recovery and really listen to doctor’s orders about rest during this time. I had a complicated delivery that required transfusions etc. and I did not feel my energy levels come back until about 3 months out from delivery. Forgive yourself if you don’t bounce back quickly. A delivery like that is a trauma and you need to heal. It’s great that you have good support, so use it!
guest
I feel you, girl. Those first weeks were a doozy. Major props to you for being so self-aware, sounds like you’re taking it all in stride. I hope you continue to heal and find your new normal. Happy mama, happy baby!
And she is sooo cute!!
persimmon / 1281 posts
Breastfeeding is HARD. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I had a 36 hour mostly back labor (26 natural) and I say that breastfeeding is harder!!! Kudos to sticking to it!!
About the weight loss- mine came off quickly and stayed off!!! With breastfeeding I’m slightly lower then my prepregnancy weight even though I eat a ton! It’s one of the (many) reasons I stuck with breastfeeding!
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
pumping definitely hurt for me because i pumped from pretty much day 1 with both kids (jaundice for both and extended stay in hospital for #2). when you pump, it activates your uterus contracting, and it hurt like hell!
and omigod i sweat like a crazy stinky monster!
you’ve been through a lot! stay strong!
pomelo / 5084 posts
Congratulations! Your little family is beautiful! And incidentally – I really like that stroller.
guest
Just wanted to suggest you use lanolin while pumping if you’re not. I didn’t know that at first and it makes a huge difference in the comfort level while pumping. Also try swaddle mes or halo sleep sacks with swaddle arms for your little mover. Mine started busting out of their blanket swaddles the minute they came home from the hospital. You’re doing great!!!
guest
Rest. Rest. Rest. Let everyone else do everything, absolutely everything. I had a 4th degree tear and it was no joke, I couldn’t even walk across the street comfortably for 3 weeks. I’d never had more than the flu before, it was very humbling and scary. I had this evolutionary-instinct to want to be able to grab my baby and run from a “tiger” if need be and I really couldn’t. The more you rest now will pay dividends later, DO NOT TRY AND OVERDO it. Stay in PJ’s in bed lying down let your body do what it needs to do. All the complications are no joke.
grapefruit / 4923 posts
oh my goodness how precious is she. i hope you feel better soon, i’m sorry the recovery has been tough. sounds like you guys are handling everything so well. and i hear you on the night sweats. sometimes i laid a towel down to soak up the sweat.
apricot / 394 posts
Congrats on your beautiful baby girl! Just wanted to tell you that I delived at Prentice back in December and we were in the same recovery room as you, #1282!
So funny!!!
kiwi / 702 posts
I totally agree with some of the commenters–do not freak out that your nipples hurt while pumping. Mine did too and so I did not pump dilligently when my daughter was born and we ended up having a very rock road to the beginning of breastfeeding. Now at 18 months we are still going strong and it was worth it but SO SO HARD. For sure the hardest part of having a baby even though I too endured 36 hour natural labor like one of the commenters. You will do great and if you have to supplement with formula a bit it’s FINE (I did for the first 3 weeks of my daughters life and thought it was the end of the world!). Hang in there lady, it’s really hard but so so worth it and it gets better every day! Thanks for sharing your story and can’t wait to meet the next starfish!
guest
I had a similar postpartum experience – it was nothing short of horrendous. Please be patient with yourself and allow yourself to heal physically and emotionally. It will, you will get better. It sounds like you have an amazingly supportive husband!
Once I completely lost my retained placenta that’s when I noticed a big change in pumping. I too pumped and dumped because of the medications – as soon as the retained placenta was removed my milk supply increased atleast 75%. Pumping always was uncomfortable for me and almost painful the first 4 or so weeks at the start of each session. I bought pumping pal attachments to use for cones and I found those to be more comfortable. Hope this helps!
guest
Your baby is so beautiful!!! Thanks for sharing your experience about the first week. As I approach my GC’s due date, I get more and more nervous about everything from just labor going smoothly, baby being healthy, to how we will all adjust to our new life…..I know those first weeks are tough but are also very special. Thanks for sharing with us! I continue to follow your story and wish you a speedy recovery and cannot wait to hear about your 2nd daughter joining you guys!
pomelo / 5220 posts
First, congrats on the beautiful baby! (Daddy’s twin!) Second, the sweats are for realllll. I also was soaking the bed. Third, please get well soon! I hope you can rest as much as possible and really take care of yourself.
blogger / cherry / 174 posts
Oh, she’s beautiful! I had a difficult postpartum recovery both times. I’m sorry you are having complications, hopefully, you can rest and recover. The nights sweats are ick. It’s like the fun of menopause and post partum all rolled into one.
clementine / 849 posts
As an exclusive pumper, I’ll tell you that the spectra 1 and 2 are the gentlest on the market. It would be a good idea to get one! Also – lube your flanges with coconut oil – it works better than nipple balms and lanolin.