Juliet will be three very soon, and ever since she turned two I have heard the question, “when are you going to potty train her?” Despite that I’m still not really thinking about potty training yet. I have a few books from when Drake was little that I have read to her, I bought her Bubble Guppies underwear to try to entice her and was firmly rebuffed, she has seen her brother potty numerous times with great applause, and yet when I mention to her about trying it, I get a resounding, “NO potty.” And that’s ok.
Let’s face it — potty training is not fun for anyone and it can be one of the most unpleasant parts of early childhood. It’s also one of those things that you can’t really help your child understand through modeling. I have never been able to put into words that feeling of needing to go, so how can I break it down in a way that my two year old can grasp?
I never imagined potty training to be a fun experience, and so I waited with Drake. I heard it was easier to train boys when they were close to 3, that summer time was a better time due to less clothing and trying things outside made clean up easier. At two I didn’t want to stress him or myself out over something I knew he would eventually learn. Maybe I’m odd but changing a diaper has always been a more appealing thought to me than cleaning up puddles of urine on my kitchen floor. So I waited.
When Drake turned three, I once again starting hearing all the questions again. At that time though I was weeks away from having Juliet and I couldn’t imagine dealing with potty training. So I waited. In late August when it was time to sign Drake up for pre-school, it was their policy that all the kids should be potty trained, but the school accepted him nevertheless. As it turned out that year none of the boys in Drake’s class were potty trained, and while Drake was the only one who hadn’t even started, he wasn’t the last to be fully trained by the end of the year.
I eventually started the process with Drake around December when he was three and a half. The experience was miserable (I blogged about it but then in a manner of two weeks the entire process turned around). Even though I hadn’t planned on night training Drake as I felt it was too much all at once, he was fully trained through the night as well. At around three years and six months we said farewell to all diapers and that was that.
Looking back on that experience, as well as hearing stories from my friends on their potty training experiences, has lead me to the conclusion that sometimes it’s just better to wait. Many of my friends started to train around the two, two and half year mark, and most of their children didn’t end up accident free until around the same time Drake was starting to train. In those months there were lots of clean ups and set backs. Quite frankly I know myself and I simply don’t have the patience currently, as I juggle life with three little ones, to deal with months of potty training. I also don’t want to push Juliet when she is so adamantly against this notion right now. Like with most milestones, I know Juliet won’t be thirty and still in diapers. I’m not worried about it at all in truth. I don’t mind that she isn’t trained. I want to wait until she is more ready, especially after seeing how much easier it was to train Drake because he was older.
For now I bring up the potty now and then. I have asked her if she wants to try, allowed her to watch when I go and she has followed her brother in numerous times as well. When she brings me her favorite book “Everybody Poops,” we talk about what is happening in the books and I relate it to changing her own dirty diapers. I have bought some underwear but she’s not keen on them yet so I let it be. I am thinking of slowly using M & M’s to reward her every time she has a positive reaction to the potty, reinforcing the good thoughts and hopefully moving toward actually sitting on the potty itself, even clothed. It might seem we are moving at a glacial pace, but that’s fine with me.
I will probably start trying more seriously around three and a half like I did with Drake, but maybe it will be sooner maybe it will be later. I know we will eventually get there. Until then I’m happy with allowing Juliet time to warm up to the whole thing.
guest
Loved this post! I have a little boy who is 2 years and 9 months. We have the kiddy potty out and he will pee in it when we change his diaper but we haven’t at all really started “training” (ie. asking if he knows he needs to go, etc.). He gets really excited when he pees in his potty but I am in no hurry to potty train him. I will probably try when he turns three at the end of August but we will see. I really feel no rush and have heard so many horror stories of trying too early. Thanks for the post!
pear / 1852 posts
My little girl is just past four, and we fully trained in the fall when she was 3.5. She still has accidents, but I know when she starts school in over a year those will all be over and done with. I’m glad I’m not the only one to give into the pressure to potty train before they were ready.
cantaloupe / 6751 posts
I got so much slack for not potty training my daughter. She just wasn’t interested! She was 2.5 when I first tried to “train” her – just because everyone kept mentioning how I should try. It was a complete failure.
After that, I totally dropped it and let her initiate. We would read books about potty and talk about potties if she wanted to, but otherwise we didn’t push it at all. At 3 years, 3 months, she decided one day that she wanted to try peeing in her potty – and the rest is history. The diaper came off and I can count the number of accidents we had on one hand. I think it’s because I waited until she was truly ready that it came so easily to her.
I’m a firm, firm believer in waiting until they are ready
apricot / 453 posts
Potty training – oiy! We are currently potty training my 2 1/4 year old daughter. I was dreading it and prolonging it but decided on a quiet weekend to test the waters – and she is doing so great. She only had one accident at daycare yesterday. I was worried about BM’s since she has constipation issues but we’ve had a successful BM everyday for the past 3 days in the potty. We trained my son at 2 years 4 months and he did great as well. I think it depends on the kids, what approach you take and mostly for the parent – that it is sooooo much work and you pretty much can’t do anything else while you are potty training.
I’m not sure if anytime is “right” but we’ve (knock-on-all-the-wood) we’ve lucked out training in the early 2’s.
I should also add – our daycare provider is key to the success of this as well!!
grapefruit / 4187 posts
My son is 2 years and 9 months and oh the pressure we keep getting to train him! I’ve been successfully ignoring it because I know it’s too soon. Also I agree with you wholeheartedly that changing a diaper is WAY better than cleaning pee off the floor. Plus I’m due with baby #2 in 2 weeks, lol. So yeah- waiting until he starts initiating it is fine with me!
kiwi / 511 posts
I thought my second one would be easier to train since he wants to do everything his big brother does. Nope not this, he was 3.5 before he did it and then it was not too bad. We did have to resort to skittles but overall less dramatic than I thought. Pretty much everyone in his preschool class at daycare was trained and he was all, nope not gonna do it I don’t care. I was about ready to bribe his BFF to encourage him but the skittles won, and fortunately didn’t take long to get rid of. I think it took longer to get rid of the pull ups accidents in his underwear really scared him even when I would be all breezey with this it is not big deal lets just change.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
Loved this post since my lil boy is almost 3 and still shows zero interest in potty training. He understands the concept and knows what to do. He’ll even tell me he needs to go, but once he’s on, nothing happens and he hops down, flushes the toilet and goes about his business. I’d love for him to be potty trained by now, but also know that I can’t force him. I hope by the end of this year he’ll be potty trained though! Those big boy poops are just super stinky man. lol