I always knew having children was going to be an emotional experience. From the moment you are given that precious new person to hold and to care for, it’s like a neverending roller coaster of highs and lows. You fall so deeply in love with this amazing person, but you also deal with crippling exhaustion, unending worry, and moments of frustration that rival any board meeting antics you have dealt with in the past.
I can’t tell you the amount of times I cried during Drake’s first year of life, both out of happiness and utter defeat. Still I knew all of this when I signed up to be a parent. I knew I would emotionally become so invested in my children that their victories and defeats would feel like my own. I knew I would mourn the days as they grew up and relied on my less and less.
To quote Elizabeth Stone, “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” What I never expected though, was to become emotionally attached to those other people in my children’s lives — their doctors, teachers, therapists, etc.
When I held Drake as a newborn in my arms, I already knew the people who would play the most important roles in his life — me, his father, his grandparents, aunts, and uncles. But there were so many more supporting people who would also enter our lives. These people would play an enormous role in helping me parent and shape my children as they grew. They would care for them, guide them and give me advice to help me make the best decisions for my son and daughters. Their investment and care for my children also created an emotional bond for me as a parent, as we all worked to help my children grow to be the best people they were capable of becoming.
Which leads me to the events of today and the purpose of this post. Fiona was due in for a shot and a quick well visit. We go to a practice but I have one favorite doctor in the group. She was the one who helped me during Juliet’s failure to thrive period, and since then I always try to make our appointments around her scheduled day at our office. We had missed her at our last well visit and at that time Fiona had taken a short dive in her weight gain, which made me nervous. Fiona did better this time around and while it wasn’t as high as I had hoped, my doctor assured me that she was doing fine. Her length has continued steadily and drops in weight might be due to her mobilization and also genes; we just make smaller children it seems.
After our check up when she mentioned to me how she and her family would be moving states mid-summer. We talked about the change and I am happy she told me since we still have one more chance to see her before saying good bye when Drake and Juliet have their well visits next month. As we were leaving the doctor’s office, I realized how emotional I was about this big news. I have gotten used to seeing her every few months through the years of my children’s multiple visits, especially in Juliet’s young life. I am forever grateful for her realizing the danger Juliet was falling into, as well as when she mentioned her delays and set us on the Early Intervention path.
When Fiona started to follow the same patterns as Juliet, she was quickly able to assess the situation. She reassured me on my difficult decision to accept that breastfeeding wasn’t working for us, formula was fine, and there wasn’t anything I was doing wrong as a mother. She was there for me in the most vulnerable and critical stages my children have been in so far, and I’m so grateful for her expertise and caring. I had never realized how enormously thankful I felt to have her as my children’s doctor.
Drake’s last month of kindergarten is also fast approaching, and I am so thankful for his teacher who is as important to Drake as she is to me. It is hard to say good bye to these special people, and I am looking for a way to express my gratitude for all their time, care, and efforts on behalf of my children. I would love to find a gift to give both of them next month before we have to say farewell. I am not sure if I should go job specific or rather something more useful overall. I intend to ask Drake to draw some pictures and I can write a note to express my gratefulness in the part they played in our lives.
Do you have any suggestions for gifts? Have you ever gotten emotional about a professional in your child’s life and having to say goodbye or is it just me?
guest
as a physician, this warms my heart. Personally, I think a thoughtful note is the best gift (although food that can be shared with the office staff is always a hit as well).
pear / 1547 posts
I agree with the above poster. I would treasure a heartfelt note. Physicians receive much more vocal feedback from frustrated patients and the reminders of the ones who value our care remind us of why we do the work we do!
apricot / 288 posts
At our family’s daycare center, there was a teacher who was there from my daughter’s first day and she was always so much fun to talk to at the end of the day and really cared about my daughter and her well-being. I was sad when my daughter moved up to the next classroom because I wouldn’t see this teacher every day anymore. And then, when we began to tell people we were pregnant with our second child, this teacher was the first one at the daycare who I told. I was so excited that I would have another child in her care. About a month later, I learned this teacher would be leaving the school for another job and I was so upset. I had told her about our son because I wanted her to have something to look forward to. But she left and in the meantime I have nurtured friendships with the new teachers in my son’s and daughter’s classrooms. And just today, I got in line behind that very teacher at the grocery store! Luckily she had a very full cart, so there was time to catch up. She was so excited to see pictures of my daughter who is 18 months older now than the last time we saw this teacher.
So yes, it is normal to get attached to the people who help you raise your children and yes, it doesn’t hurt to let them know how much you’ve appreciated all they have done. It will likely mean as much to them as it means to you.
pomegranate / 3225 posts
How wonderful you have a pediatrician you feel like this towards! I got our fav midwife a gift card.
hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts
Our favorite storytime librarian is looking for a new job and my heart is broken. We’ve been going to her storytime for over 2 years now and have missed maybe 5 weeks in total. I’m sad for me and for my girls. We really love her. I thought I was weird for being so bummed, glad it’s normal!
guest
As a teacher, I like homemade cards and notes, homemade cookies and gift cards to Starbucks or Target. Something small and simple to let me know someone is thinking about me.
guest
I was thinking about this today. We have one child and he’s about to finish his first year of preschool. Next year he will ” graduate” and I will miss his teacher soo much. I never anticipated I would get emotionally attached to people in my son’s life like that. He was never in daycare so preschool was such a huge milestone and his teacher made it easy. I think a note from you and some type of art from your children would be an amazing gift to show how much she’s impacted your lives.