We first took Big P to swim lessons when he was 6 months old. It was a “Parent and Me” class that basically involved bopping around in the water and singing silly songs (and motivated new moms to get back in the gym ha). Since then we’ve enrolled him in similar classes two more times and also spent a fair amount of time in the pool as a family. Big P is 3 and not afraid of the water (I actually wish he was a little more afraid actually). And he’s pretty “good” at swimming, at least by toddler standards. He will jump in off the side, float on his back, put his ears and face in the water, and kick his feet.

Given his enthusiasm, we decided to enroll Big P in the first level of swim lessons. Each session of swim lessons meets for 30 minutes every day for 2 weeks. Our nanny takes the boys to the pool pretty frequently, so we thought this would be an easy introduction for Big P to “real” swim instruction.

Boy, oh boy, we were wrong. The first day of lessons he went fairly willingly with his instructor into the pool and seemed to be doing really good. My proud mom heart was beaming from the side of the pool (“look at my brave little boy!” “he always seems to do well in group settings!”). And then the screaming echoed throughout the pool deck. Our nanny waited a few minutes before going over to reassure Big P we were there and he was OK. That did not work. So I went over and ended up sitting on the side of the pool in my work clothes holding a sopping wet, sobbing little boy. Despite our best efforts, we could not convince Big P to get back in the pool, so we packed up and headed home.

For the rest of the day, our nanny, his grandparents, and I all tried to “pump” Big P up and remind him of much he likes swimming and how sometimes trying new things is hard. He was having none of it. In fact, Big P was emphatic in his insistence that he would NOT try swimming lessons again unless his Daddy or Mommy was in the pool with him. In retrospect, maybe we should have been more nonchalant and not tried to persuade him to try again. But alas we did not.

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Somehow we convinced Big P to get in the car the next morning in his swim trunks and head back to the pool. I played all of my “Desperate Mom” cards (the grand finale being arriving early enough to snag a frosting drenched cinnamon roll from the pool bar for us to share) to get him on the deck and quasi open to the prospect of swim lessons. As soon as the instructor appeared he started that dreadful toddler game of “scream and chase.” The instructor somehow managed to get him in the pool (albeit while Big P was loudly protesting). I held my breath, tried to stay out of Big P’s line of sight, and prayed for a miracle.

I wish I could say Big P stopped crying and happily splashed with his little friends. Unfortunately that did not happen. Our previously optimistic instructor (“He’ll be fine once he gets in!” They never cry for long!”) actually took him out of the pool, recognizing I’m sure that a thrashing, screaming child in a pool is not a good situation. So yet again we packed up and headed home.

I didn’t even bring up swim lessons last night or this morning. I deferred to our nanny on whether she even wanted to try to take him. And I am kind of at a loss about what to do next. Maybe we just need to sign up for another “Parent and Me” class and try the solo lessons again later this year or next. In the meantime do we keep going to the pool if he refuses to go to swim lessons? Should we make him try swim lessons again even if he continues to refuse to go in?