Hellobee

As Jackson gets older, one thing that Mr. Garland and I have become much more conscious of is the types of examples that we set for him. It’s absolutely amazing to see how much he imitates us, and sometimes it still takes me by surprise when I hear him say something that I know I say all the time (like the time he was exasperated at something and sighed, “oh, good Lord!”). On one hand it’s so sweet to see him act like mini versions of us, but on the other hand, it’s terrifying! 

Watching Jackson grow and start to imitate us more and more has got me thinking about the things I do now that are shaped by watching my parents. For example, my parents always set the example of being very active and working out regularly – so for me, it’s second nature to always be trying to find the time to work out. Mr. Garland doesn’t prioritize it like I do because it wasn’t something that was normal in his home. And Mr. Garland is much more adventurous about food than I am because it was completely normal in his home to eat a variety of really healthy foods – my family, on the other hand, survived mostly on takeout and Hamburger Helper, which makes me a lot more hesitant to branch out when it comes to food. It’s fascinating to think that what we do as parents, whether we realize it or not, will shape the behavior of our children as they get older. It’s also quite overwhelming because it makes me second-guess just about everything I do on a daily basis!

One of the main areas Mr. Garland and I try to set good examples for Jackson is through the words we speak and our attitudes towards challenging situations. We’ve tried to completely eliminate all cursing around him (I’m trying to eliminate it completely but that’s another story), and we work to always be kind and positive with our words. Jackson is watching us when we have setbacks, when we’re frustrated, and when we’re sad and he’s learning how he should react to these situations from how we react. I always think back to our own childhoods to help me remember how much it can shape his future behavior – Mr. Garland grew up in a household that fought with a lot of yelling, quite a bit of cursing, and wasn’t always focused on positivity when challenging times came around. As a result, he continues to struggle with raising his voice and saying hurtful things when he’s upset – he never knew any different! For me, however, my mom is almost annoyingly positive about every situation life throws her way, my parents never raised their voices around me or to me, and the worst curse word I’ve ever heard my dad say is “sheep dip” (you know he’s really angry when he busts that one out). It’s really interesting to learn how these things change our behavior as adults, and it has made us very aware of how we behave when Jackson is around.

Other areas where we really try to set positive examples for Jackson are what we eat, how active we are, and what we do with our free time. We try very hard not to be too glued to our phones or devices when he’s around, they’re banned from the dinner table, we try to stay active and eat (relatively) healthfully, and I try to let Jackson see me reading and engaging in creative activities as much as possible!

It’s absolutely impossible to predict what kind of people Jackson and any future children we have will be as they grow up, but we do know that the environment they grow up in and the examples that are set for them will have a huge impact on them as they get older. It’s been kind of nice to focus on remembering this as I go about my day-to-day routine because I’ve found that trying to set a positive example for Jackson has led me to make some really good changes in my own life and I’m a more upbeat and patient person because of it!

What are some ways you focus on getting good examples for your kids?