Hellobee

Without a doubt, one of the hardest parts of the infertility journey for me was the dreaded two week wait. For those who accidentally became pregnant or who became pregnant quickly and easily, you might not be familiar with this time from hell. The two week wait – or “2WW” – is the time in your monthly cycle after ovulation and before your period. It is the time when you are hoping and praying that the small clump of cells that will be your bundle of joy is making itself at home in your uterus. It is a time completely out of your control for there is basically nothing you can do to encourage that little embryo to stick. It is also a time of complete limbo because the pregnancy hormone HCG is not yet being produced at levels that can be detected by pregnancy tests. It is a time when you are PUPO – pregnant until proven otherwise, and thus typically restricted from alcohol, caffeine, heavy lifting and anything else that a pregnant woman is restricted from.

In the three years that I endured infertility treatments, I experienced dozens of two week waits. At the beginning, I was hopeful and excited throughout these periods. I would calculate my expected due date with a lot of anticipation and daydream about baby names and nursery themes. But as I took home pregnancy tests and never saw a darkening second line as the days crept by, I would painfully lose a little bit of this happy excitement each day.

As my journey continued, any trace of excitement fell away from these periods and they started to turn very dark. Instead of hope, I was filled with sadness and loneliness for two weeks out of every month. I still calculated my expected due date but as the dates started to lap years of my previously calculated due dates, it only served as a dull reminder that time was painfully passing through my fingers and I still hadn’t gotten pregnant.

Toward the end of my journey, the two week wait periods became less painful and dark, but they also remained devoid of any of the initial hope and excitement. They were days full of numbness and were carefully constructed to include as much distraction as possible. I was a bit of a zombie through this period, a walking infertility zombie. I still did all of my medications each day, still kept up with my appointments, and even would do research for future cycles (certain that the current one I was in would fail), but I somehow disassociated my emotional state with all of these actions. The task of becoming pregnant became something that I could never get away from, and I dutifully went through all of the actions necessary to achieve it, but I stopped the pain by treating the task as just something else to be accomplished on my to-do list.

To me, the two week wait nearly defines the entire infertility experience. The emotions are most heightened during this period. The feelings of helplessness and desperation and loneliness are most acute. The medications are inflating your hormones and making you feel even more out-of-control. I somehow managed to stumble my way through these periods, but it would have been amazing to have a guidebook. And this brings to me The Two Week Wait Challenge: A Sassy Girl’s Guide to Surviving the TWW.

I am so excited about this book! It is truly the guidebook that I wish I had had for my dreaded two week waits. The author, Lindsay Fischer, is currently enduring the infertility process herself and she writes like someone who just gets it. As the title implies, she is fun and sassy as she guides you through those dreaded 14 days. She brings just the right amount of fun and humor to an indisputably un-fun time, and she is encouraging and motivational in just the right dose to help push you through those tough days.

The Two Week Wait Challenge is a quick read. It starts out with a little bit of Lindsay’s background and experience with infertility. It is then structured to guide you through the long days of the two week wait, with areas of focus for each day and exercises to help with the areas of focus. There are daily challenges to get you in touch with your body, your mind, your spirit, and your partner.

I love this book because it aims to turn the dreaded two week wait into a period of personal development. It acknowledges the struggle of the two week wait, but encourages you to use it as an opportunity. It also keeps your mind busy and occupied and focused. I like that it also helps to ease the loneliness of the two week wait because Lindsay’s writing style and her personal experience with infertility makes you feel like you’re connected with a close friend each and every day.

If you yourself have a two week wait coming up, I definitely suggest checking it out. Or if you have a friend suffering through infertility and you don’t know the best way to support her, consider this as a useful and considerate gift that acknowledges how challenging this time is for her. At less than ten bucks, this book is a great investment in mental and spiritual health and I’m so glad it is here and available to sassily guide women through one of the toughest times in their lives.