Hellobee

Lion turned two recently and we chose not to have a birthday party for him. We also didn’t have a party for him when he turned one and don’t plan to have one on Panda’s first birthday, either. Here are some of the reasons we haven’t thrown a birthday party, at least not yet.

We didn’t think Lion was interested in a party: We weren’t actually sure that Lion would want a birthday party. He can be very shy, especially in new situations. Although we have been working on exposing him to new people and situations—and we have seen major improvements in his socialization skills—we didn’t want to force him into a party where there would be a lot of people. Even if we only invited a few of his classmates over, I honestly didn’t know if he would enjoy himself. Ultimately, this was probably the biggest reason we chose not to have a birthday party.

Keeping a safe distance from the other kids at the playground.

Budget: Even though there are a lot of ways to throw an inexpensive party, there are always costs. For us, it’s usually food because I worry so much about not having enough that I overdo it. Even a low-key party comes with some costs. While a small party wouldn’t break our budget—and we did host small receptions at our home after both the kids’ baptisms—for something that we were really ambivalent about, we decided we could take the extra money and put it toward other things (like travel!).

We don’t live near family: I think that we would be more inclined to have birthday parties for the kids if we lived close to family because it would be a nice excuse to have a get-together. Because we live on the other side of the country, our family is unlikely to come out just for a toddler’s birthday party, especially given Lion’s summer birthday and the high cost of travel at this time. We’d rather our family come out when they want at staggered times, anyway, since they usually stay with us and we don’t have space in our home for all seven grandparents to spend the night.

Lion has plenty of toys and doesn’t need more gifts: I feel a little bit like a scrooge for saying this, but Lion has plenty of toys and games and really doesn’t need any more. We definitely got Lion some gifts that we knew he would play with and enjoy and his grandparents gave him birthday presents, but we didn’t want our friends (or Lion’s friends’ parents) to feel like they had to bring him presents. Even if the invitation said “no gifts,” when I’ve gone to parties or showers with this instruction, there always seems to be a gift table anyway. When we decluttered the kids’ room, I also became picky about the kids’ toys and really feel like he has more than enough.

Stress/time of planning: I know some people love throwing parties and enjoy decorating their homes. While I love hosting people for dinner because I love to cook, I know that I would worry about making sure our guests had enough to do, that Lion was sharing with his guests, and figuring out a great theme. This year I was also incredibly swamped with work since it has been busier than usual and I also picked up a couple of extra consulting jobs that I do outside of my normal work. Lion’s birthday also fell just days before Panda’s baptism and about a week before we had to fly across the country for my brother-in-law’s wedding. Given how busy we knew we would be, it made sense for us to opt out of a birthday party.

Of course, just because we didn’t have a party doesn’t mean that we didn’t find ways to celebrate his birthday and make him feel special!

Balloons: For both his first and second birthdays, we bought a few balloons to signify a special occasion. Like any child, Lion loves balloons and was particularly excited that this year we also got him a mylar one with a picture of a dog driving a fire truck. The morning we celebrated his birthday, I was super excited because we had purchased a play kitchen for Lion and put it in the living room. Lion wanted a play kitchen for a long time and I thought he would jump up and down when he saw it. Instead, when he came out to the living room in the morning, he stopped dead in his tracks and pointed at the three balloons we had in the room and kept repeating “I have a balloon! This is a balloon!” for the next fifteen minutes. He didn’t even notice his new play kitchen (well, new to him; we actually purchased it off Craigslist and painted it with chalk paint) at first because he was so distracted by the balloons.

Thrilled to finally have an actual play kitchen instead of using boxes and Tupperware containers as his oven.

Gifts: Once Lion got over the excitement of the balloons that had mysteriously appeared overnight, he finally saw the play kitchen and the reaction was great! Mr. Dolphin was in the kitchen washing the breakfast dishes and Lion ran over to him, pointed and said, “This is Papa’s kitchen!” before running back to his play kitchen and saying “This is Lion’s kitchen!” He spent the rest of the day opening and closing the refrigerator door, pretending to wash fruits and vegetables in his sink, and squatting down to look in the oven, repeatedly telling me “It’s not ready yet!” He also got some foam baseballs, something he had said he wanted for his birthday for two months prior.

Last year, we went with a much smaller gift, giving him four Thomas the Tank Engine trains that we had purchased in a huge lot off Craigslist (we purchased a giant collection of Thomas trains, tracks and fixtures and have been giving him a few for special occasions, including birthdays and Christmas), which he loved. We also gave him books both years because he loves to read and I enjoy giving books as gifts. So even though Lion does have plenty of toys, there were some additional things that we thought he would really enjoy and would promote imaginative play.

Trying to hold all the baseballs that came in a six-pack.

Dessert: For Lion’s first birthday, I made him a cupcake with almond flour and fruit with no added sugar and made unsweetened whipped cream. This year, Lion specifically asked for cupcakes and wanted to take some to school, so we mixed up a batch for him to take with him. I also made a cheesecake for him to try after dinner on the night we celebrated his birthday, but he wasn’t particularly interested in it. What he did love, though, was trying to blow out his birthday candle! Dessert is a huge treat in the Dolphin household because we typically don’t have any cookies, pies, or cakes at home. Dessert usually takes the form of fresh fruit or a pickle, because Lion and I love snacking on pickles. Lion understands that desserts are a special occasion food and told me, “I get a cupcake for my birthday!”

Examining his choices and trying to decide what to touch.

Special trips: We initially thought we would take him to the National Aquarium in Baltimore because he’s at a stage where he is obsessed with animals and unlike the zoo the aquarium is indoors, a necessity with the DC heat this summer! We decided to postpone the trip for when my mom comes in September since she hasn’t been before and did some special trips close to home, instead. We took him to the Glen Echo Aquarium near our home, which was much smaller than we expected, but he enjoyed anyway. In addition to a touch tank, there was an outdoor pirate ship to play on and a fishing game. And, of course, trips to the park are always a big hit for him, especially when we go to one of the two parks close to us that have trains for him to ride!

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While we don’t plan to have a first birthday party for Panda in January, we may consider doing something for Lion’s third birthday when it rolls around next year. Ultimately, we’ll just play it by ear and see whether Lion seems particularly interested in having a party or whether we think he’d rather take a trip to a museum or share in some other experience. Regardless of what we do on the kids’ birthdays, my hope is only that they enjoy the day and that we capture some great memories.