Being a new parent is intense. It is a period where you experience your highest highs and lowest lows, yet inevitably look back at the experience with nothing but the fondest of memories. Over the last few weeks, I came to the somewhat sad realization that I’m not a “new parent” anymore. That’s not to say I feel like I’ve got this parenting thing down (because I don’t), but my little one is a year and a half and I’m no longer blindly navigating this diapers, poop and sleep. In fact, the other day I was at Target offering sippy cup advice to a new mom. Even though it was a quick 1 minute interaction, it felt strange to be the giver of parenting advice (if you count opinions on sippy cups as advice). But it got me thinking about the things I’ve learned or realized over the past year a half.
1. Going to bed later never means waking up later. It’s not logical, but it’s something I was told time and time again before I became a mom, but never understood until I had a little one of my own.
2. When your little one inevitably does something dangerous and falls, there is a pretty good chance he didn’t learn from it and will do it again.
3. Your white shirts will get stained, and some (a lot of) days you’ll leave the house without realizing it.
4. Onesie closure hierarchy: Zipper > Snaps > > > buttons (should not exist).
5. You will almost never sleep when the baby sleeps, no matter how many times people tell you to.
6. The first time your little one sleeps through the night, you will write about it in your diary. If you don’t have a diary, you will start one.
7. When I was pregnant, so many people told me I would get used to poop and while it’s true that I talk about it a lot more, I’m still totally grossed out by it.
8. Making mom friends is really hard.
9. It takes twice as long to prep for the pool than the time you will spend there.
11. Holding a baby is no joke on your lower back.
12. A carseat protector seat cover is a must have. It will keep your car clean once your little one’s legs are long enough to start kicking the seat.
13. Being the recipient of an open-mouthed face slobber means your little one is giving kisses. It took my mother-in-law pointing this out to make me realize what M was doing. Before that the act felt more like a Facehugger attack from the movie Alien (if you are a child of the early 80s, you get that).
14. When your little one sees a food they like during dinner, it guarantees they won’t eat what’s in front of them.
15. There is a much bigger chance your little one will eat a piece of food they find on the ground than the meal you took time to prepare.
16. Food sticks to eyelashes.
17. Your little one eating vegetables is a dream they tell you can happen in your prenatal classes.
18. Snow days are no longer the lazy Netflix binge sessions they once were.
19. Your little one will want you to read his favorite book multiple times in a row.
20. There will be days when you have dinner at 5:30.
21. Car seats take up a lot of space, so if your “big car” is a ford focus, it is too small.
22. You probably thought your days of laughing at farts was over, but your little one will reignite that hysteria in you.
23. You will fall in love with your partner all over again every morning the baby wakes up and he says “I’ve got it, go back to sleep.”
24. For a long time, when your little one “jumps,” his feet won’t actually leave the ground.
25. Expecting nothing to get crossed off your to-do list then crossing off one thing is so much better than expecting everything to get crossed off your to-do list and crossing 9 out of 10 things off.
26. You will be overly excited when it’s pajama day at school.
27. The same trick will make your little one laugh for ages, so save your new material.
28. Sometimes kids are jerks. It’s okay if you don’t love every second of being a parent.
29. Your house is never going to be as clean as it was before you had kids. The sooner you accept this, the happier you will be.
30. Feeling your little one relax in your arms will melt your heart every time.
blogger / apricot / 482 posts
Yes! I want to know where the “sleep when the baby sleeps” myth came from!
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
I TRIED to sleep when the baby sleeps but I agree, as tired as I am I can’t just sleep at random times either!
And the sleep later –> wake up later thing is never ever true for DD either. Always get comments to let her stay up and she’ll sleep in… Nope!
nectarine / 2018 posts
Not all car seats allow mats to be used under them – it’s always important to read the manual for your individual seat! The mats that just protect the seat back are great though. We repurposed a nursing cover by hanging it from the headrest.
blogger / apricot / 439 posts
Love this! And I totally JUST marked down my youngest baby’s sleep through the night (#6) accomplishment. I can’t explain how much I loved marking that down!!
grapefruit / 4923 posts
love this list. so much of it rings true.
blogger / cherry / 142 posts
I’m still grossed out by poop too, and my LO is almost four!
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
Yes to 13 & 21!
LO is so excited to reciprocate a kiss. His are just wet and cold! Lol
DH was shocked when he saw the car seat I have in my car on a consumer reports list of best car seats for compact cars. I’m surprised LO hasn’t bumped his head yet.
blogger / apricot / 250 posts
@Mrs. Dolphin: I would also love to know where that myth came from!
blogger / apricot / 250 posts
@snowjewelz: my little one wakes up at 4:30 am every single day. I can’t tell you how many times it has been suggested that we move his bed time back. We have tried multiple times but the end result is always the same – a baby who still wakes up at 4:30 only now is a little crankier.
blogger / apricot / 250 posts
@catgirl: great point, I didn’t realize that car seat mats were universal.
pomelo / 5621 posts
This is such a great list.
The later bedtime is so true and at 3.5 still true for us.
grapefruit / 4455 posts
My dd actually does wake up later but she’s about to be four so maybe that’s why. She didn’t as a baby.
Biggest thing I’ve learned since having my two is to just roll with the punches as much as you can. You never really know what’s coming.
pomelo / 5258 posts
Great list. The first time DD slept until 6am (not through the night) I made a sign saying “I slept until 6am and mommy is so happy.” She’s smiling next to the sign still in her swaddle. One of my favorite pics. The first time she slept through the night I danced to “I’m on top of the world” at a ridiculous volume.