Hellobee

It’s been 11 months since we moved to a remote tropical island in the Philippines on the opposite side of the world from our former New York lives. In that time I’ve done a lot of reflecting on our current lives here, our past lives in New York and what lies in the future for our family. We’ve had our fair share of ups and downs adjusting to life here, but one thing I can undoubtedly say is that living abroad has changed our lives forever. I previously shared 10 things my kids have learned while living abroad, and now here are 10 ways our lives have changed.

downtown El Nido

1) You get lonely. One of the biggest challenges of living here is that it’s hard to make friends. Most of the expats that live here are much younger than us, unmarried, and don’t have children (scuba instructors, bartenders, backpackers, etc.). We’re in such different places in our lives that it can be hard to relate to these young whippersnappers. Many expats are also here temporarily, and we’ve had to say goodbye to more than our fair share of friends. As introverts, we’ve really had to push out of our comfort zones and be much more proactive about meeting new people. That said we’ve been blessed to have so many wonderful friends come to visit us from the States, and it’s been awesome sharing our new lives with them.

2) We have a simple life. We live on one of the most beautiful islands in the world, but there isn’t much to do other than going to the beach, and there is nothing geared towards children. So we spend a lot of time in nature, read lots of books, and host friends over for wine and dinner. It can get boring and feel a little like Groundhog Day, but this is a season in our lives that we’re trying to appreciate fully. We will also never again take things like hot water, electricity, and access to medical care for granted!

Charlie playing with an octopus. We’ve found everything from sting rays to sea turtles to horseshoe crabs on our beach!

3) We’re very unplugged. I had to join Facebook because it’s often the only website that will work at all on my phone, so it’s how I keep in touch with my friends and family back home (along with phone calls on Viber and Kakao Talk). I gave up on Instagram (my social media platform of choice) and Snapchat because they were too slow, but I honestly don’t miss them at all. We rarely watch any tv, so we have no idea what’s going on with tv, movies, and pop culture. It’s amazing how something like social media can be such a big part of your life, and then you don’t miss it at all once it’s gone.

4) Motorcycles are our mode of transportation. I grew up driving in Los Angeles and then taking public transportation in New York. Now we ride motorcycles everywhere, though our family is probably the only one in the town that wears motorcycle helmets! But the town is small, there are speed bumps, and lots of pedestrians so drivers generally drive slow and are very careful. If we are going beyond the town (which takes 15 minutes to walk from one end to the other), we take a tricycle (seen behind Olive).

5) I gave up pork. Mr. Bee’s mom always raises a couple of pigs for lechon, a traditional Filipino pork dish cooked all day over a spitfire. Interacting with them daily I just couldn’t continue eating pigs. They’re so cute, friendly, sweet and smart!

6) You miss food more than just about anything else. I will pay just about anything for fresh berries since they’re one of the foods my kids miss most, and our remote island destination means most things are not available here. Nothing reminds you of home as much as your favorite foods — you can literally talk for hours about all the foods you miss with fellow expats! On the top of that list is usually Mexican/Thai/any ethnic food, steak, sushi, sandwiches, and good bread and cheese.

7) We’re becoming locals. We know most of the locals and the locals know us. We’re picking up the language and understand the culture. We know all the business gossip. We’ve struggled, learned, changed, adapted, grown, and made a life. It will always feel like a second home here.

8) We aren’t attached to any of our things. We got rid of everything we owned before moving here, and we’ll leave almost everything we’ve purchased here behind when we leave. It’s very freeing not to be tied down by anything we own, and it really feels like we can go anywhere.

9) We’re able to travel much more often. Because our cost of living is much lower here, we’re able to travel more. Traveling throughout Southeast Asia is also incredibly affordable. Flights are often less than $100 roundtrip to most major Asian destinations when they’re on sale, and accommodations, food, etc. generally cost much less than they do in the Western world. Now that our Philippines permanent residency has come through, it will be much easier to travel throughout Asia.

10) We’ve changed forever. I definitely miss our friends, family, and the convenience of living in America, but I’m not ready to move back just yet. Living abroad has triggered my wanderlust and I crave new experiences. I’ve met so many interesting people from around the world while living here, and I would love to live abroad for an extended period of time, particularly in Europe where I’m fascinated by the educational system. America will always be home and we can always return to it.

It’s amazing just how much travel changes you. Now that we’ve lived abroad I’m not the same person anymore, and I really don’t know if we can go back to our former lives. I don’t know what lies ahead for our family!