Hellobee

I’m pretty sure my procrastination level has reached an all-time high lately. I haven’t been keeping in touch well with my friends. I haven’t been planning new and fun things to do for the kiddos. I certainly haven’t been keeping up with my house cleaning. So, what have I been doing then??

We are in desperate house hunting time. We’re supposed to close on our current house next month and there’s literally nothing on the market for us to choose from to buy. We’ve seen it all and passed it up for whatever reason, and analyzed everything 6 ways to Sunday to see if there’s some way we could make it work for us. I search all of the housing sites, Craigslist, then go back and look at the houses we’ve already seen (in case they’ve changed somehow in the last couple of weeks??!!). I literally feel like months have passed by without me being fully present because I’m so engrossed in finding our “dream”/”forever” home. I’m so tired of houses, you guys.

I’m in a rut.

And I need to get out, badly…for my family, and my own mental health. So, here’s what I’ve discovered about getting out of a mental rut in case you’re in one of your own!

1) Determine what needs to change: For me this mainly involves putting my phone down and stepping away from the housing apps. I find myself being much more attentive to my kids and the house if my phone is nowhere near me. The amount of time I spend looking every day isn’t healthy for my life and isn’t really helpful either, so that’s number 1. I also need to change my stress level about finding a house. Something somehow will work out – I know that deep down, so I need to calm myself instead of spending all day on eggshells about a new house coming on the market. I might even look into a yoga class for myself!

2) Set attainable goals: I know that I’m not going to be able to change all of these things at once because I’ve been doing them for quite a while now. I think I’ll first start by cutting down the number of housing apps I have on my phone to 1 (I won’t tell you how many I currently have). I’ll also set a goal for myself of only checking this app at times that make sense for my family, such as when the kids are eating lunch, taking a nap, or otherwise preoccupied without me. I will not make an excuse that they seem preoccupied without me (even if they’re asking me to play with them) in order to check my phone. Honestly, my husband and our agent are as obsessive as I am at this point – so if something does come on the market they’ll probably know right away too.

3) Create a new routine: Well, this is really an old routine for me, but I need to get back to focusing myself on my family in a positive way. I used to spend a lot of my free time gathering new arts and crafts or science activities on Pinterest for the kids to do. Or I’d look at upcoming activities around us to attend. My free time at night needs to be re-devoted in a way that will actually help us – instead of searching for houses that don’t exist.

4) Talk to a friend: Instead of continuing to procrastinate on getting back to my friends who want to know how my life is going (on pause is how it feels), I need to try to reach out to them and discuss the current housing vacuum we’re stuck in. Or, better yet, discuss something else….anything else!

5) Wallow for 5 minutes: I find myself spending a lot of the day being bummed about houses we’ve missed out on and how amazing it would have been to live in them. I think about what might happen if the sales fall through. Or what if another house like that doesn’t go on the market?! When I get on a circular path like this, I’m going to try to let myself go there fully for 5 minutes and then I’m going to shut it off and move on. Acknowledge that it sucks and that it’s not how I want it to be – but that I can’t change it right now. Let it go – as Scallop would sing to me in his best Elsa voice.

6) Make a plan: We need a better plan than searching every day and trying to make houses that aren’t really a fit for us work somehow. So, we’ve decided to just rent for a while until something that is perfect for us comes into view. It’s certainly not ideal and the logistics of it kind of stink, but it’ll be a nice break for everyone (I think) and a temporary fix to our troubles.

7) Live in the present: How am I not giving all of myself each day to these crazy kiddos?? Finding a wonderful home for them is certainly important, but not at the cost of missing time with them while looking for something that’s just not there right now.

These steps all seem really easy when writing them out, but it’ll be interesting to see how I actually put them into practice. I feel like this whole thing has me by the throat and I’m just so ready to move on (no pun intended).

What do you do when you find yourself caught in a rut? Have you ever found yourself obsessing over something that you really wanted to move on from?