Hellobee

Mr. Dolphin and I are not great at staying in one place. In our eleven years as a couple, we have lived in nine homes together, in six cities, four states, and two different countries. Some of that time was when we were students or very early in our careers, so this movement is perhaps less unstable than it looks. Still, we get a little antsy and I think that we were both born with the wanderlust gene that Mrs. Bee has mentioned before.

In my last post on our next steps, I talked all about how we miss our family, almost all of whom are on the West Coast (none are here on the East Coast), and are considering whether it is feasible to move back to have more of a support system and let our children grow closer with their extended family. Today, I want to lay out our case for going somewhere completely new and different. Specifically, going to a new country that we have never lived in before.

As our kids grow older, I am hopeful that parenting will become easier, not harder, and that the lack of a support system may be less important. We have already seen Lion start to overcome some of his shyness and open up, giving us hope that we can hire a babysitter once in awhile to have a date night.

A big dream of ours has always been to live abroad again. Mr. Dolphin and I lived in London for a year and loved being abroad. After having kids, we discussed whether moving to a foreign country was still something we wanted to do. Ultimately, we think that having children was even more of a reason to go somewhere new.

We want our children to learn about new cultures, have a more worldly view and embrace adventure. While we firmly believe in traveling, living in a new country is very different than visiting. When you live somewhere, you are able to better pick up new languages (if the country is non-English speaking) and truly live the culture rather than just scraping the surface. Visiting a city for a few days provides a glimpse into a different country, but the privilege of immersing ourselves fully in a culture is an experience I would love my children to have.

A fun day trip to Ayutthaya in 2010 after a work trip to India and Thailand.

The United States is a vast country and while we enjoy traveling within the states, its size makes it a bit more difficult to visit most other countries with ease. When Mr. Dolphin and I lived in London, we could hop on a train to France or Belgium for a weekend trip or take advantage of the budget airlines and fly to almost anywhere in Europe or even North Africa for a quick trip. Southeast Asia provides similarly easy travel options from any of the major cities. I traveled extensively for work in Singapore, Brunei, Malaysia, Vietnam, Thailand, often traveling through Japan, Hong Kong and Korea to get there. These were often relatively short flights with minimal time zone disruptions. Even living in South America would allow us easier travel to new countries. I would love to be able to live in a foreign country again to be able to travel more extensively through other countries. Living abroad would make it cheaper to travel and easier because the flights are shorter and the time zone differences are smaller. I want my children to know that there is more out there than the United States, more than just English speakers, more than just the developed world. I referenced one Mark Twain quote in my post about why we are such firm proponents of traveling with young children, but here’s another one that we love and seems particularly appropriate today:

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.

Another reason I’d love to move abroad is to just get away from all of our stuff. The United States has a huge consumer culture that some countries don’t have. We are very privileged in the United States to have so much stuff at our fingertips, but I’ve come to realize that I don’t need, or even want, so much. After I read the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, I decluttered our home, ridding ourselves of boxes and bags of things we didn’t need, things that didn’t spark joy. As I donated much of it, I couldn’t help but think what a waste of money it was to buy an extra kitchen appliance that barely got any use, or a sweater I’d worn twice because it didn’t fit well but I purchased because it was on sale. When I decluttter our kids’ belongings, they don’t seem to miss the toys we donate. We simply don’t need it all and moving to a foreign country would force us to pare down significantly.

Mr. Dolphin and I have been in the DC metro area for almost six years now, much longer than I’ve ever lived in one city and probably part of the reason why I’m itching for a change. However, we are starting to put down roots here, finding doctors that I trust and like, a daycare near our home, and friends with children the same age as Lion and Panda. These roots make it a bit harder to leave, but at the same time our wanderlust is hard to ignore. The biggest challenge will be finding a job—actually, two jobs—that will allow us to move abroad. I have had the good fortune of working in international law and policy during my career, so finding a new job abroad is not totally out of the question, but it is still very challenging. It has been a dream of ours, though, and we would love to pursue this possibility at some point!

Sooo…if you know of anyone looking for two attorneys, particularly one with a lot of international intellectual property experience, send them my way please!