Hellobee

Before I had kids, I heard a lot about the Terrible Twos. When Addie started getting close to her second birthday, I braced myself for the inevitable tidalwave of moods, tantrums, and stubbornness coming my way. To my great surprise, two was….okay. Sure we had our moments, but in general Addie was an easy going, sweet, and FUN toddler. Was our first attempt at potty training a nightmare? Yes. Yes it was. Was it mostly the result of my complete unwillingness to deviate from my predetermined plan for even one iota? Also yes. The next month, when we tried again (this time with Dad at the helm) it was mostly smooth sailing. She was day and night trained within a week, and that was that.

Before I knew it, my baby turned into a little kid. Diapers were a distant memory, she slept in her big girl bed, ate basically anything we put in front of her, and was pretty great at following rules. I smugly congratulated myself on navigating the terrible twos, and figured that it only got easier from here on out.

I look back at that time, and just think, “Oh you sweet summer child, you have no idea what is around the corner.”

Celebrating Addie’s third birthday: we had no idea what was around the corner.

A threenager was coming, after all. Three brought with it mood swings, an astonishing amount of tears, and the tendency to turn even the most mundane request into a ten-minute long discussion/negotiation. Over the last six months, I’ve caught myself getting short-tempered and impatient. I’ve used “because I said so” a really impressive number of times. I’ve learned that there are some battles worth fighting, and others that aren’t worth my time. But surprisingly, I’ve learned something else: despite its challenges, three is my favorite age so far.

Wardrobe choices are 100% a battle not worth fighting.

I’ve been a parent for long enough that I feel comfortable admitting that the baby stage is not my favorite stage of child development. I love my kids of course, but I find the eat-sleep-chill-cry-change diapers routine to be brutal. Yes, the baby snuggles, and those first gummy smiles are fantastic. I basically zoned out during an entire volunteer meeting a month ago, because Tyler had just figured out how to laugh. It turns out that a big part of the reason why I love the laughs, and coos, and smiles, is because those are the first times that my babies are really showing me who they are. I love starting to see their personalities shine through, and every day starts to get a little easier once I get to know them better.

And, at its core, being three is ALL about figuring out who you are. Addie is a little person now. When Mr. Sun is in the field, and I’m on day eight of being home alone with the kids, I’m forever grateful for her companionship. At some point over the last six months, our conversations shifted from simple questions and answers to longer (occasionally rambling) talks that include jokes, stories, hopes, and fears. Right now, my absolute favorite thing is listening to Addie tell me jokes. Her first joke is also my favorite. It goes as follows:

Addie: Mommy, have you ever seen me on the ceiling?
Me: No I haven’t.
Addie: THAT’S A JOKE *wild laughter*

Three-year-olds aren’t just companions, they can also be a genuine help. When I first brought the boys home, I described Addie as “terrifyingly helpful.” Although she was normally really well-behaved, there were times when she would go rogue and decide to change a diaper by herself while I was making her breakfast. We managed to channel that desire to help into more age-appropriate activities, and now Addie is responsible for feeding our dog, letting him out when he needs it, and making sure all the lights are turned off when she leaves a room. These are small chores, but they are actually really helpful.

But, the personality change that amazes me the most is watching Addie develop empathy. There are certainly still plenty of times I have to remind her to “treat your friends kindly,” but more often than not Addie is dialed into how her friends are feeling. She’ll tell me that somebody is feeling sad, and then tell me how she helped to make them feel better. She can recognize when a friend needs some space and usually acts on that understanding. Recently, we were at dance class, and another little girl was nervous about going into the studio. Without being prompted, Addie marched herself over, took the little girl’s hand, and said, “Don’t be sad! We can go in together, and then you don’t have to be scared!”

I cherish that moment and remind myself of it when we’re having a particularly challenging day, and I’m seriously considering moving to Australia. It can be really difficult to remember anything positive when I’m trying to figure out what, exactly, is wrong with the socks in Addie’s drawer, and determine when we can expect the tears to stop. However, after the tears dry and everyone’s blood pressure goes back to normal, I’m really loving this season of life right now.